The Poems of Philip Freneau Volume II Part 20

"Now while I am busy in taking apart "This globe that is formed with such exquisite art, "Go, Hermes, to Libra, (you're one of her gallants) "And ask, in my name, for the loan of her balance."

Away posted Hermes, as swift as the gales, And as swiftly returned with the ponderous scales, And hung them aloft to a beam in the air, So equally poised, they had turned with a hair.

Now Jove to Columbia his shoulders applied, But aiming to lift her, his strength she defied-- Then, turning about to their G.o.dships, he says-- "A body so vast is not easy to raise;

"But if you a.s.sist me, I still have a notion "Our forces, united, can put her in motion, "And swing her aloft, (though alone I might fail) "And place her, in spite of her bulk, in our scale;

"If six years together the Congress have strove, "And more than divided the empire with Jove; "With a Jove like myself, who am nine times as great, "You can join, like their soldiers, to heave up this weight."

So to it they went, with handspikes and levers, And upward she sprung, with her mountains and rivers!

Rocks, cities, and islands, deep waters and shallows, Ships, armies, and forests, high heads and fine fellows:

"Stick to it!" cries Jove, "now heave one and all!

"At least we are lifting 'one-eighth of the ball!'

"If backward she tumbles--then trouble begins, "And then have a care, my dear boys, of your shins!"

When G.o.ds are determined what project can fail?

So they gave a hard shove, and she mounted the scale; Suspended aloft, Jove viewed her with awe-- And the G.o.ds,[C] for their pay, had a hearty--huzza!

[C] American soldiers.--_Freneau's note._

But Neptune bawled out--"Why Jove you're a noddy, "Is Britain sufficient to poise that vast body?

"'Tis nonsense such castles to build in the air-- "As well might an oyster with Britain compare."

"Away to your waters, you bl.u.s.tering bully,"

Said Jove, "or I'll make you repent of your folly, "Is Jupiter, Sir, to be tutored by you?-- "Get out of my sight, for I know what to do!"

Then searching about with his fingers for Britain, Thought he, "this same island I cannot well hit on; "The devil take him who first called her the Great: "If she was--she is vastly diminished of late!"

Like a man that is searching his thigh for a flea.

He peeped and he fumbled, but nothing could see; At last he exclaimed--"I am surely upon it-- "I think I have hold of a Highlander's bonnet."

But finding his error, he said with a sigh, "This bonnet is only the island of Skie!"[D]

So away to his namesake the planet he goes, And borrowed two moons to hang on his nose.

[D] An Island on the north-west of Scotland.--_Freneau's note._

Through these, as through gla.s.ses, he saw her quite clear, And in raptures cried out--"I have found her--she's here!

"If this be not Britain, then call me an a.s.s-- "She looks like a gem in an ocean of gla.s.s.

"But, faith, she's so small I must mind how I shake her; "In a box I'll inclose her, for fear I should break her: "Though a G.o.d, I might suffer for being aggressor, "Since scorpions, and vipers, and hornets possess her;

"The white cliffs of Albion I think I descry-- "And the hills of Plinlimmon appear rather nigh-- "But, Vulcan, inform me what creatures are these, "That smell so of onions, and garlick, and cheese?"

Old Vulcan replied--"Odds splutter a nails!

"Why, these are the Welch, and the country is Wales!

"When Taffy is vext, no devil is ruder-- "Take care how you trouble the offspring of Tudor!

"On the crags of the mountains _hur_ living _hur_ seeks, "_Hur_ country is planted with garlick and leeks; "So great is _hur_ choler, beware how you teaze _hur_, "For these are the Britons--unconquered by Caesar."[148]

"But now, my dear Juno, pray give me my mittens, "(These insects I am going to handle are Britons) "I'll draw up their isle with a finger and thumb, "As the doctor extracts an old tooth from the gum."

Then he raised her aloft--but to shorten our tale, She looked like a clod in the opposite scale-- Britannia so small, and Columbia so large-- A ship of first rate, and a ferryman's barge!

Cried Pallas to Vulcan, "Why, Jove's in a dream-- "Observe how he watches the turn of the beam!

"Was ever a mountain outweighed by a grain?

"Or what is a drop when compared to the main?"

But Momus alledged--"In my humble opinion, "You should add to Great-Britain her foreign dominion, "When this is appended, perhaps she will rise, "And equal her rival in weight and in size."

"Alas! (said the monarch), your project is vain, "But little is left of her foreign domain; "And, scattered about in the liquid expanse, "That little is left to the mercy of France;

"However, we'll lift them, and give her fair play"-- And soon in the scale with their mistress they lay; But the G.o.ds were confounded and struck with surprise, And Vulcan could hardly believe his own eyes!

For (such was the purpose and guidance of fate) Her foreign dominions diminished her weight-- By which it appeared, to Britain's disaster, Her foreign possessions were changing their master.

Then, as he replaced them, said Jove with a smile-- "Columbia shall never be ruled by an isle-- "But vapours and darkness around her may rise, "And tempests conceal her awhile from our eyes;

"So locusts in Egypt their squadrons display, "And rising, disfigure the face of the day; "So the moon, at her full, has a frequent eclipse, "And the sun in the ocean diurnally dips.

"Then cease your endeavours, ye vermin of Britain-- (And here, in derision, their island he spit on) "'Tis madness to seek what you never can find, "Or to think of uniting what nature disjoined;

"But still you may flutter awhile with your wings, "And spit out your venom and brandish your stings: "Your hearts are as black, and as bitter as gall, "A curse to mankind--and a blot on the Ball."[E]

[E] It is hoped that such a sentiment may not be deemed wholly illiberal--Every candid person will certainly _draw a line between a brave and magnanimous people, and a most vicious and vitiating government_. Perhaps the following extract from a pamphlet lately published in London and republished at Baltimore (June, 1809) by Mr. _Bernard Dornin_, will place the preceding sentiment in a fair point of view:

"A better spirit than exists in the English people, never existed in any people in the world; it has been misdirected, and squandered upon party purposes in the most degrading and scandalous manner; they have been led to believe that they were benefiting the commerce of England by destroying the commerce of America, that they were defending their sovereign by perpetuating the bigoted oppression of their fellow subjects; their rulers and their guides have told them that they would equal the vigour of France by equalling her atrocity, and they have gone on, wasting that opulence, patience and courage, which if husbanded by prudent, and moderate counsels, might have proved the salvation of mankind. The same policy of turning the good qualities of Englishmen to their own destruction, which made Mr. Pitt omnipotent, continues his power to those who resemble him only in his vices; advantage is taken of the loyalty of Englishmen, to make them meanly submissive; their piety is turned into persecution; their courage into useless and obstinate contention; they are plundered because they are ready to pay, and soothed into a.s.sinine stupidity because they are full of virtuous patience. If England must perish at last, so let it be: that event is in the hands of G.o.d; we must dry up our tears, and submit. But that England should perish swindling and stealing; that it should perish waging war against lazar-houses and hospitals; that it should perish persecuting with monastic bigotry; that it should calmly give itself up to be ruined by the flashy arrogance of one man, and the narrow fanaticism of another: these events are within the power of human beings, but I did not think that the magnanimity of Englishmen would ever stoop to such degradations."--_Freneau's note._

[142] This poem appeared in the April 3, 1782, issue of the _Freeman's Journal_, filling the entire first page of the paper. I have followed the text of the 1809 edition.

[143] "On which were engraven twice."--_Ed. 1786._

[144] This and the nine following lines were written for the edition of 1809.

[145] "Merely for music."--_Ed. 1786._

[146] "If you will,"--_Ib._

[147] "Length."--_Ed. 1786._

[148] In the 1786 edition there was inserted at this point the following stanza omitted in the later versions:

"Jove peep'd thro' his moons, and examin'd their features, And said, 'By my truth, they are wonderful creatures, 'The beards are so long that encircle their throats, 'That (unless they are Welchmen) I swear they are _goats_.'"