The Poems of Philip Freneau Volume II Part 17

The Hero[130] that steer'd for the cape of Good Hope With Monsieur Suffrein was unable to cope-- Many months are elaps'd, yet his task is to do-- To conquer the cape, and to conquer Peru:

When his squadron at Portsmouth he went to equip He promis'd great things from his fifty-gun ship; But let him alone--while he knows which is which, He'll not be so ready "_to die in a ditch_."

This session, I thought to have told you thus much, "A treaty concluded, and peace with the Dutch"-- But as stubborn as ever, they vapour and brag, And sail by my nose with the Prussian flag.

The empress refuses to join on our side, As yet with the Indians we're only ally'd: (Though such an alliance is rather improper, For we English are white, but their colour is copper.)

The Irish, I fear, have some mischief in view; They ever have been a most troublesome crew-- If a truce or a treaty hereafter be made, They shall pay very dear for their present free trade.

Dame Fortune, I think, has our standards forsaken, For Tobago, they say, by Frenchmen is taken; Minorca's besieg'd--and as for Gibraltar, By Jove, if it's taken I'll take to the halter.

It makes me so wroth, I could scold like Xantippe When I think of our losses along Mississippi-- And see in the Indies that horrible Hyder, His conquests extending still wider and wider.

'Twixt Washington, Hyder, Don Galvez, De Gra.s.se, By my soul we are brought to a very fine pa.s.s-- When we've reason to hope new battles are won, A packet arrives--and an army's undone!--

In the midst of this scene of dismay and distress, What is best to be done, is not easy to guess, For things may go wrong though we plan them aright, And blows they must look for, whose trade is to fight.

In regard to the rebels, it is my decree That dependent on Britain they ever shall be; Or I've captains and hosts that will fly at my nod And slaughter them all--by the blessing of G.o.d.

But if they succeed, as they're likely to do, Our neighbours must part with their colonies too: Let them laugh and be merry, and make us their jest, When La Plata revolts, we shall laugh with the rest--

'Tis true that the journey to castle St. Juan Was a project that brought the projectors to ruin; But still, my dear lords, I would have you reflect, Who nothing do venture can nothing expect.

If the Commons agree to afford me new treasures, My sentence once more is for vigorous measures: Accustom'd so long to head winds and bad weather, Let us conquer or go to the devil together.

[128] In the _Freeman's Journal_ of February 2, 1782, is given his Majesty's speech of November 27, 1781, in full, followed by the speech he should have given. The first tidings of the surrender of Cornwallis reached England November 25. The king's speech to Parliament was confused and aimless.

[129] Alluding to the last campaign of the war, which culminated in the surrender of Cornwallis.

[130] "Commodore George Johnstone, commanding the British East India fleet, was attacked by the French fleet under M. de Suffrein at St.

Jago, one of the Cape de Verd Islands, in 1781. Johnstone's flag-ship was the Rodney, 50."--_Duyckinck._

RIVINGTON'S LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT[131]

[A True Copy from the Records][132]

Since life is uncertain, and no one can say, How soon we may go, or how long we shall stay, Methinks he is wisest who soonest prepares, And settles in season his worldly affairs:

Some folks are so weak they can scarce avoid crying, And think when they're making their wills they are dying; 'Tis surely a serious employment--but still, Who e'er died the sooner for making his will?

Let others be sad when their lives they review, But I know whom I've serv'd--and him faithfully too; And though it may seem a fanatical story, He often has show'd me a glimpse of his glory.

IMPRIMIS, my carcase I give and devise To be made into cakes of a moderate size, To nourish those tories whose spirits may droop, And serve the king's army with Portable Soup.

Unless I mistake, in the scriptures we read That "worms on the dead shall deliciously feed,"

The scripture stands true--and that I am firm in, For what are our tories and soldiers but vermin?--

This soup of soups can't be call'd that of beef, And this may to some be a matter of grief: But I'm certain the Bull would occasion a laugh, That beef Portable Soup should be made of a Calf.

To the king, my dear master, I give a full sett (In volumes bound up) of the Royal Gazette, In which he will find the vast record contain'd Of provinces conquer'd and victories gain'd.

As to Arnold the traitor and Satan his brother, I beg they will also accept of another; And this shall be bound in Morocco red leather, Provided they'll read it like brothers together.

But if Arnold should die, 'tis another affair, Then Satan surviving shall be the sole heir; He often has told me he thought it quite clever, So to him and his heirs I bequeath it forever.

I know there are some (that would fain be thought wise) Who say my Gazette is the record of lies; In answer to this, I shall only reply-- All the choice that I had was to starve or to lie.

My fiddles, my flutes, French horns and guittars[A]

I leave to our heroes now weary of wars-- To the wars of the stage they more boldly advance, The captains shall play and the soldiers shall dance.[B]

[A] The articles of bequest in this poem were incessantly advertised in the Royal Gazette, and puffed off with a dexterity peculiar to the editor of that paper.--_Freneau's note in ed. of 1809._

[B] It became fashionable at this period with the British officers to a.s.sume the business of the Drama, to the no small mortification of those who had been holding them up as the undoubted conquerors of North America.--_Ib._

To Sir Henry Clinton, his use and behoof, I leave my French brandy of very high proof; It will give him fresh spirits for battle and slaughter And make him feel bolder by land and by water:

Yet I caution the knight, for fear he do wrong, 'Tis _avant la viande et apres le poisson_[C]

It will strengthen his stomach, prevent it from turning, And digest the affront of his effigy burning.

[C] Before flesh and after fish.--_See the Royal Gazette.--Ib._

To Baron Knyphausen,[133] his heirs and a.s.signs, I bequeath my old hock, and my Burgundy wines, To a true Hessian drunkard no liquors are sweeter, And I know the old man is no foe to the creature.

To a general, my namesake,[D] I give and dispose Of a purse full of clipp'd, light, sweated half joes; I hereby desire him to take back his trash, And return me my Hannay's infallible Wash.[E]

[D] General James Robertson.--_Ib._

[E] Used in the venereal disease.--_Ib._

My chessmen and tables, and other such chattels I give to Cornwallis renowned in battles: By moving of these (not tracing the map) He'll explain to the king how he got in the trap.

To good David Mathews[135] (among other slops) I give my whole cargo of Maredant's drops, If they cannot do all, they may cure him in part, And scatter the poison that cankers his heart:

Provided, however, and nevertheless, That what other estate I enjoy and possess At the time of my death (if it be not then sold) Shall remain to the Tories to have and to hold.

As I thus have bequeath'd them both carcase and fleece, The least they can do is to wait my decease; But to give them what substance I have, ere I die, And be eat up with vermin, while living--not I--

In Witness whereof (though no ailment I feel) Hereunto I set both my hand and my seal; (As the law says) in presence of witnesses twain, 'Squire _John Coghill Knap_,[F] and brother _Hugh Gaine_.

[F] A Notary Public in New-York.--_Freneau's note._ "'Knapp,'

says Dawson, in a note to _New York City During the Revolution_, was 'a notorious pettifogger, a convict who had fled from England for his own benefit.'"--_Duyckinck._

JAMES RIVINGTON, (_L.S._)