The Pacha of Many Tales Part 38

Leaving him to his solitary revels, we must observe that the caliph had ascertained that Yussuf had received the bastinado; and now making sure that he would be without provisions or wine, he resolved to pay him another visit. "I think, Giaffar, that I have at last sent that rascal to bed supperless in return for his calling me an infidel; and I must go and enjoy his wrath and indignation, increased of course by the pain of the blows he has received by the order of the cadi." In vain did Giaffar represent that it would be attacking an angry and wounded lion in his den; that his wrath would be such, and his strength was so enormous, that they could not expect less than annihilation should they venture to his door. "All that may be true," replied the caliph; "but still I will go and see him at all risk."

"I have my dagger, Commander of the Faithful," observed Mesrour, "and I fear him not."

"Use it not, Mesrour," replied the caliph. "Get ready the dresses and let us depart."

"I venture to promise that we shall see no more lights this time, except it may be a solitary lamp to enable him to bathe his wounded feet."

They went forth, and on their arrival were astonished at the blaze of light which proceeded from Yussuf's apartments; his singing also was more clamorous, and he appeared to be much intoxicated, crying out between his staves, "I am Yussuf! confound all Moussul merchants--my trust is in G.o.d!"

"By the sword of the Prophet!" exclaimed the caliph, "this fellow baffles me in every thing. Have I not made the whole city uncomfortable, and submit to decrees which appeared to be promulgated by a madman, merely to chastise this wine-bibber, and behold he revels as before? I am weary of attempting to baffle him; however, let us find out, if possible, how he has provided for his table. What, ho! friend Yussuf, are you there? Here are your guests come again to rejoice in your good fortune," cried the caliph from the street.

"What, again?" roared Yussuf. "Well, now, you must take the consequence. Fly, or you are dead men. I have sworn by Allah, not only that you should not come into my door, but that I would cudgel you whenever we met again."

"Nay, thou pearl among men, thou ocean of good temper, rise and receive us. It is our destiny, and who can prevent it?"

"Well, then," replied Yussuf, coming out to the verandah with his great cudgel, "if it is your destiny, it will not be my fault."

"But, good Yussuf," replied the caliph, "hear us. This is the last time that we request admittance. We swear it by the _three_. You rail at us as if we harmed you; whereas, you must acknowledge, that every thing, however unfortunate at first appearance, has turned only to thy advantage."

"That is true," replied Yussuf; "but still it is through your pernicious omens that I am made to change my trade every day. What am I to be next?"

"Is not your trust in G.o.d?" replied Giaffar. "Besides, we promise thee faithfully that we will not say one word on the subject, and that this shall be the last time that we demand your hospitality."

"Well," replied Yussuf, who was very drunk, "I will open the door for the last time, as I must not war with destiny." So saying, he reeled down the stairs, and let them in.

The caliph found every thing in extraordinary profusion. Yussuf sang for some time without noticing them; at last he said, "You Moussul rascals, why do you not ask me to narrate how I have had such good fortune? You are dying with envy, I presume; but now you shall hear it, and if you dare to go away till I have told you all, I will shower down such a quant.i.ty of blows upon your carca.s.ses, as shall leave you worse than a bastinado of five hundred."

"We are all obedience and humility, O prince of men?" replied the caliph.

Yussuf then narrated the events of the day, concluding with, "I am Yussuf, my trust is in G.o.d! A beeldar will I live, a beeldar will I die, in spite of the caliph and his grand vizier to boot. Here's confusion to them both!" He then drank off a cup of rakee, and rolling over in a state of stupid intoxication, fell fast asleep.

The caliph and Giaffar blew out the lights, and then let themselves out of the door, and, much amused with the adventures of Yussuf, they regained the private gate of the seraglio.

The next morning Yussuf awoke, and finding it late, hastened to dress himself in his best clothes, saying to himself, "I am a beeldar, and I will die a beeldar." He took care to comb out his beard, and twist it in a fiercer manner; and then putting on his sham sword, lost no time in going to the palace, where he took his station among the beeldars who were on duty, hoping that he would be dispatched by the chief on a similar message as that of the day before. The caliph soon afterwards made his appearance at the divan, and immediately recognised Yussuf in his partial disguise. He observed to Giaffar, "Do you see there our friend Yussuf? I have him at last, and now I will perplex him not a little before he escapes me." The chief of the beeldars being called, stepped forward and made his obeisance. "What is the number of your corps?" inquired the caliph.

"Thirty in all, Most High, of which ten are every day on duty."

"I will review those who are present," replied the caliph, "and examine each man particularly."

The chief of the beeldars bowing low, retired, and turning to his men, with a loud voice, said, "Beeldars, it is the pleasure of the Commander of the Faithful, that you appear before him."

This order was instantly obeyed, and Yussuf was compelled to walk with the rest into the immediate presence of the caliph; not, however, without alarm, and saying to himself, "What can all this be for? My usual luck. Yesterday I cast up my reckoning with the cadi, and paid the balance with my heels. If I have to account with the caliph, I am lucky if I come off clear with my head."

In the mean time the caliph asked a few questions of each beeldar, until he came to Yussuf, who had taken care to stand last. His manoeuvres and embarra.s.sment afforded much pleasure to the caliph and Giaffar, so much, that they scarce could refrain from laughing outright. The last of the beeldars had now been examined, and had pa.s.sed over to the right after the others, and Yussuf remained standing by himself. He shuffled from side to side, casting an eye now at the door, and then at the caliph, considering whether he should take to his heels, but he felt that it was useless. The caliph asked him who he was three times before Yussuf's confusion would allow him to answer; and the chief of the beeldars gave him a push in the ribs, and looking in his face, did not recognise him; he however supposed that he had been lately subst.i.tuted by one of the other chiefs. "Answer the caliph, you great brute," said he to Yussuf, giving him another dig in the ribs with the handle of his poniard; but Yussuf's tongue was glued to his mouth with fear, and he stood trembling without giving any answer. The caliph again repeated, "What is your name, your father's name, and the amount of your salary as a beeldar?

and how did you get your appointment?"

"Is it to me you speak, O hadji caliph?" at last stammered out Yussuf.

"Yes," replied the caliph gravely.

Giaffar, who stood near his master, then cried out, "Yes, you cowardly shred of a beeldar; and reply quickly, or a sword will be applied to your neck."

Yussuf, as if talking to himself, replied, "I hope it will be _my own_ then." He then replied to the question, "Yes, yes, it's all right--my father was a beeldar, and my _mother_ also before him." At this extravagant answer the caliph and whole court could no longer restrain their mirth, which gave Yussuf a little more courage.

"So," replied Haroun, "it appears that you are a beeldar, and that your allowance is ten dinars yearly, and five pounds of mutton daily."

"Yes, my Umeer," replied Yussuf, "I believe that is correct. My trust is in G.o.d!"

"It is well. Now, Yussuf, take with you three other beeldars to the dungeon of blood, and bring to me the four robbers who were condemned to death for their manifold crimes and enormities."

Here Giaffar interfered, and submitted to the caliph, whether it would not be better that the head-jailer should produce them, which being ordered, that officer presently made his appearance with the four criminals pinioned and bareheaded. The caliph ordered three of the beeldars each to seize and blindfold a prisoner, to open their upper garments ready, to unsheath their swords, and wait for the word of command. The three beeldars made their obeisance, obeyed the command, placing the criminals in a kneeling position, resting on their hams, with their necks bare, and their eyes covered. While the three heeldars stood thus in readiness, Yussuf was in a dreadful state of confusion.

"To escape now is impossible," said he to himself. "Confound these Moussul merchants. They did well to say they would come no more, for in a few minutes I shall be no more myself."

"You fellow there! you are one of the appointed beeldars, and do not know your duty," cried Giaffar. "Why do you not lead out the criminal as your companions have done?"

Yussuf, obliged to obey, now seized the fourth prisoner, covered his eyes, laid bare his neck, and took his stand behind him, but without drawing his sword. "I never shall be able to get over this," thought Yussuf. "In a few seconds it will prove to be but a piece of palm wood, and I shall lose my head among the jeers of the people. However, my trust is in G.o.d; and to s.h.i.tan with all Moussul merchants." He took, however, his sheath and sham sword from his belt, and raised it in the scabbard over his shoulder.

The caliph who watched him narrowly, was highly diverted with this manoeuvre. "You beeldar!" cried he, "why do you not unsheath your sword?"

"My sword," replied Yussuf, "is of that temper that it must not too long glance in the eyes of the Commander of the Faithful."

The caliph appeared satisfied, and turning to the first beeldar, commanded him to strike. In a moment, the head of the robber was lying on the ground. "Neatly and bravely done," said the caliph; "let him be rewarded." He then gave command to the second to execute his criminal.

The sword whirled in the air, and at one stroke the head of the robber flew some distance from the shoulders. The third criminal was despatched with equal dexterity. "Now," said the caliph to Yussuf, "you, my beeldar, cut off the criminal's head, and receive the like reward for your dexterity."

Yussuf had by this time, to a certain degree, recovered his presence of mind; he had not exactly arranged his ideas, but they floated indistinctly in his brain. "Will, your highness, allow me to say a few words to the criminal," demanded Yussuf, to gain time.

"Be it so," replied the caliph, stuffing his robe in his mouth to prevent laughter.

"The caliph has commanded that your head be struck off. If you would p.r.o.nounce the profession of the true faith now is your time, robber, for you have but one short minute to live."

The criminal immediately cried out, "There is but one G.o.d, and Mahomet is his Prophet!"

Yussuf then bared his muscular arm, and fiercely rolling his eyes, walked three times round his prisoner. "Declare now the justice of your fate," cried he aloud (but at the same time saying to the man in a low tone, 'Swear you are innocent.') "Say, is not your sentence just?"

"No--no," replied the man, in a loud voice, "I am innocent."

The caliph, who was very attentive to all that pa.s.sed, was much diverted by Yussuf's proceedings, and wondered what he would do next. Yussuf then walked up to the caliph, and prostrated himself. "O caliph, vicegerent of the Prophet! deign to listen to your faithful beeldar, while he narrates a strange adventure which hath befallen him within these few days."

"Speak, beeldar, we are all attention; remember that thy words be those of truth."

"It was on the evening before your highness issued the decree that no water should be supplied to the bazaar from the Tigris, that as I was sitting in my house, performing my sacred duties, and studying the Koran, which I read in a loud voice, three merchants of Moussul claimed and intreated my hospitality. The Koran has pointed out hospitality as a virtue necessary to every true believer, and I hastened to open my door and receive them."

"Indeed," replied the caliph, looking at Giaffar. "Tell me, beeldar, what sort of looking personages might these Moussul merchants be?"

"Ill favoured to a degree. One was a pot-bellied, rascally-looking fellow, with a great beard, who looked as if he had just come out of a jail. (The caliph winked at his vizier, as much as to say, There is your portrait.) Another was a black-bearded, beetle-browed, hang-dog looking rascal. (Giaffar bowed to the caliph.) And the third was a blubber-lipped, weazen-faced skeleton of a negro. (Mesrour clapped his hand to his dagger with impatience.) In short, your highness, I may safely say, that the three criminals whose heads have just been forfeited to justice, were, as far as appearances went, honest-looking men, compared to the three Moussul merchants. Nevertheless, as in duty bound, I received these three men, gave them shelter, and spread a table of the best before them. They indulged in kabobs, and asking for wine and rakee, which, as forbidden by the law, I never taste, I went out and purchased it for them. They did eat and drink till the dawn broke, and then they departed."

"Indeed," said the caliph.