The Old Debauchees. A Comedy Part 11

_Priest._ You shall be made a severe Example of for having dishonour'd your Order.

_Mart._ I shall find another time to answer you.

_Old Lar._ Hold, Sir, hold. I have too much Charity not to cleanse you, as much as possible, from your Pollution. So, Who's there? [_Enter Servants._] Here take this worthy Gentleman, and wash him a little in a Horse-pond, then toss him dry in a Blanket.

_1 Serv._ We will wash him with a Vengeance.

_All._ Ay, ay, we'll wash him.

_Mart._ You may repent this, Mr. _Laroon_.

SCENE _the Last_.

_Old_ Laroon, _Young_ Laroon, Jourdain, _Priest_, Isabel, _and_ Beatrice.

_Priest._ Tho' he deserves the worst, yet consider his Order, Mr.

_Laroon_.

_Old Lar._ Sir, he shall undergo the Punishment, tho' I suffer the like afterwards. Well, Master _Jourdain_, I hope you are now convinced, that you may marry your Daughter without going to Purgatory for it.

_Jourd._ I hope you will pardon what is past, my good Neighbour. And you, young Gentleman, will, I hope, do the same. If my Girl can make you any amends, I give you her for ever.

_Yo. Lar._ Amends! Oh! She would make me large Amends for twenty thousand times my Sufferings.

_Isa._ Tell me so hereafter, my dear Lover. A Woman may make a Man amends for his Sufferings before Marriage; but can she make him amends for what he suffers after it?

_Yo. La._ Oh! think not that can ever be my Fate with you.

_Old Lar._ Pox o' your Raptures. If you don't make her suffer before to-morrow-morning, thou art no Son of mine, and if she does not make you suffer within this Twelve-month: Blood she is no Woman--Come, honest Neighbour, I hope thou hast discovered thy own Folly and the Priest's Roguery together, and thou wilt return and be one of us again.

_Jourd._ Mr. _Laroon_, if I have err'd on one side, you have err'd as widely on the other. Let me tell you, a Reflexion on the Sins of your Youth would not be unwholesome.

_Old Lar._ 'Sblood Sir! but it wou'd. Reflexion is the most unwholesome thing in the World. Besides, Sir, I have no Sins to reflect on but those of an honest Fellow. If I have lov'd a Wh.o.r.e at five and twenty, and a Bottle at forty; Why, I have done as much good as I could, in my Generation; and that, I hope, will make amends.

_Isa._ Well, my dear _Beatrice_, and are you positively bent on a Nunnery still?

_Bea._ Hum! I suppose you will laugh at me, if I shou'd change my Resolution; but I have seen so much of a Priest to-day, that I really believe, I shall spend my Life in the Company of a Lay-man.

_Old Lar._ Why, that is bravely said, Madam, S'bud! I like you, and if I had not resolv'd, for the Sake of this Rascal here, never to marry again, S'bud! I might take you into my Arms: And I can tell you, they are as warm as any young Fellow's in _Europe_--Come, Master _Jourdain_, this Night, you and I will crack a Bottle together, and to-morrow morning we will employ this honest Gentleman here, to tack our Son and Daughter together, and then I don't care if I never see a Priest again as long as I live.

_Isa._ [to _Yo. Lar._] Well, Sir. You see we have got the better of all Difficulties at last. The Fears of a Lover are very unreasonable, when he is once a.s.sured of the Sincerity of his Mistress,

For when a Woman sets her self about it, Nor Priest, nor Devil can make her go without it.

FINISH.