The Newcastle Song Book Part 37

And Whin Bob 'bout the militia constantly does swet; But by cunningness escap'd them, aye an' sae will he yet.

Jack Nicholson, the n.o.ble soul, a deal o' breeding shows, Got a patent frae the King to split sheep heads wi' his nose; The butchers fearing o' disgrace, a job he ne'er cud get-- But the honour's aye been wi' him, aye, an' sae will it yet.

Of Fishwives tee, that's i' wor toon, up to the present day, Euphy Scott she is prime minister to Queen Madgie Gray.

The understrappers and descendants maintain that it was fit, She should rule the market as she lik'd, an' sae will she yet.

Captain Starkey, p.u.s.s.ey Willie, and poor Cuddy Reed, Lousy Donald and au'd Judy, poor souls! they've a' gyen deed: But, marrows, keep ye up your hearts, this is not the time to fret, For their memories hae e'er been up, aye an' say will they yet.

_HUMANUM EST ERRARE._

OLD NICK'S VISIT TO H----'S KITCHEN.

Tune--"The King of the Cannibal Islands."

Old Nick, for pastime, took a prance, And to Newcastle did advance; At Grainger's buildings just did glance, And swagger'd away to H----'s Kitchen.

The Kitchen soon was in a roar, When Nick exclaim'd--I'll pay the score!

So let the drink go round galore-- Which soon laid numbers on the floor:-- Cried Swalwell Pyet--Old Friend, what cheer!

We're heartily glad to see you here-- Nick smack'd the ale, and soon turn'd queer Among his friends in the Kitchen.

CHORUS.

Then shout hurrah for Ralph's good ale!

O may its virtues never fail-- It made Old Nick to c.o.c.k his tail, And stagger about in the Kitchen.

In midst of all the noise and din, The merry crew came tumbling in, From Parlour and c.o.c.k'd Hat so trim, To join their friend in the Kitchen:-- First Ramsay Jack, the brokers' hack, With G---- and E---- upon his back-- Great Doctor Flash came in a crack!-- Brave Noodle W----n join'd the pack; And from the Vestry, like a rose, Came M----ty with the brandy nose, And B----m dress'd in dandy clothes, To welcome Nick to the Kitchen.

Then shout hurrah, &c.

Fam'd H----p acted Crook-back'd d.i.c.k, And sung a song to please Old Nick; Jim W----n smoak'd till S----t turn'd sick, And they bundled them out of the Kitchen.

Old S----y, too, that gallant tar, Said when on board a man of war, He conquer'd Yankee and Lascar, And knew all countries near and far: Old Nick then gave a dreadful roar, With voice just like the grizzly boar, Brave S----y ran towards the door, And fled half-dead from the Kitchen!

Then shout hurrah, &c.

Old Wash C---- with his dirty paws, Sat rubbing up his grim old jaws, And scandalizing without cause, His dearest friend in the Kitchen.

Jim Colvin and Ned Mushel smart, Were guzzling beer down by the quart!

Old Snuffy Tom well play'd his part, He swigg'd away with all his heart.

Old Nick cried, Is my Uncle here?

I long to taste of his good cheer!-- A lump of beef did soon appear, And they gobbled it up in the Kitchen!

Then shout hurrah, &c.

O hark! cried Nick, the clock strikes one!

So midnight's past--I must be gone; When I remount my brimstone throne, I'll oftentimes think of the Kitchen.

Ralph D----d said, before we part-- Come, let us have another quart!

Bob C----r swears 'twill break his heart, To think you should so soon desert!

But Nick still more impatient grew-- At last he bellow'd out--Adieu!

And, in a moment, off he flew, 'Mid thund'ring chears from the Kitchen!

Then shout hurrah, &c.

On George the Fourth's Coronation.

INVITATION to the MANSION-HOUSE DINNER IN HONOUR OF THE CORONATION.

Air--"Scots wha ha'e wi' Wallace bled."

Men who have with Mayors fed; Men whom oft the Mace hath led; Welcome to your Beef and Bread, Come and feast to-day.

See yon Ox's b.u.t.tocks lower; See yon bags of pudding flour; Shew your masticating power, Teeth and Loyalty.

Who can't eat is sure a knave; Send the scoundrel to his grave; Who can't drink should be a slave; Such we ne'er will be.

Who for King and Country's Law Will cut away and stuff his maw, Cans will drain, and corks will draw, Brothers, come with me.

By what's worse than Slavery's chains, Empty stomachs, gripes, and pains, We'll eat and drink, until our veins Swoln like bladders be.

See yon lumps of beef laid low, Puddings fall at every blow!

Wine in b.u.mpers round shall flow: Brothers, look to me!

THE NEWCASTLE SWINEHERD'S PROCLAMATION

O yes! ye swinish Mult.i.tude!

To our Newcastle sties repair: Two whole fat beeves are barbecu'd, So go and cram your gorges there.

Your mouths will water at the sight; The oose your unshav'd chops run down; Your dirty sleeves away will dight The s...o...b..r of tobacco brown.

With cart-grease basted, dredg'd with dust, The outsides burnt, the insides raw, Next to some t.i.t bit carrion must Delight a hog's voracious maw.

Hey! to the Pants, where dribbling wine And brewer's rot-gut beer distil; With speed let every greedy swine Swig what he can--aye, swig his fill.

Then to your grov'ling nature true, Return to wallow in the mire; And let the Corporate body view The consummation they require.

Swineherds expect the brutes that run To guzzle at their garbage feast, Should compensate, and make them fun; So hogs come on and play the beast!

"And grunt, ye pigs, with savage joy, While stuffing full your craving maws, Nor care if staves your skulls annoy, But quickly move your greedy jaws.

While guzzling down your wishy-wash, Squeak loud with _make-believe_ affection; And in the puddle kick and splash, Nor shew one sign of disaffection.

Then, all ye lordly herds laugh loud, And shake your portly paunches fine; Shew to your dames the rabble crowd-- And having pray'd, retire to dine.

Then tell how the voracious pigs, With greedy spite press'd to the _trow_, And gave each other loyal digs, Nor car'd for e'er a waddling sow.