The Mother And Her Child Part 58

ADOLESCENT DAYS

The homely boy or the homely girl usually grows up free from the flattery and undue attention which are sure to be heaped upon the good-looking boy and the popular girl. Way back in the early days of five or six, and all the way up to the ages of twelve to twenty, children should be taught that it is altogether natural and correct to do things well and to look well; parents should stop, and cause their acquaintances to stop, "making over" the boy or the girl just because they have done something well, or have beautiful curls, or because their eyes are a magnificent brown, etc. If a girl should be especially endowed with a charming complexion, a wonderful chin, and if she does possess a beautiful nose or neck, let her early realize that she has been made the custodian of goodly features and that she must give an account for this particular blessing, and under no circ.u.mstances must she become self-conscious about it. Ofttimes a good frown to an unwise friend is all that is necessary to stop this "lip service" flattery.

The "chewing-gum girl" is just a thoughtless girl, that is all; sit her in front of a mirror and compel her to chew gum for one-half hour and watch herself do it, and it will often suffice to cure her. Young ladies should be taught that chewing gum should be done in the bedroom, but never in the living-room or on the streets. It is not only a disgusting habit, but it often creates an occasion for criticism as to the quality of one's home training.

ICE-CREAM PARLORS

The mother who cares will not allow her lovely daughters nightly, or even semi-weekly, to frequent the ice-cream parlors and secluded soda fountains. She had far better arrange group dinners and group receptions in her own parlor; with ice cream served in her own dishes and eaten with spoons that she has supervised the washing of.

Young women and young men in their late teens crave companionship, and they should have it; but let it be under wise chaperonage at home or in public rooms, and not in the solitude of a lonely bench in the public park, or the seclusion of an out-of-the-way, ice-cream parlor.

This "running the streets" which is so freely indulged in by the adolescent youth in the early teens need not occur, if wise provision is made for the a.s.sembly of small groups in the home.

Some elders think it pleasing and cute for young men and young women--fourteen to sixteen, or even seventeen--to wrestle and roll around on the floor like two huge kittens; but it is unwise and indiscreet and should be discouraged.

DANCING

We hesitate to speak of dancing for we realize it is a very popular indoor recreation of today, but we most earnestly urge that if dancing must be done, it be done under proper chaperonage, and if young people must meet in public dance halls let them be munic.i.p.al dance halls, where motherly matrons are in charge. Many of the social dances which bring the partic.i.p.ants into such close physical contact are to be discouraged and stricken off the list; and while dancing is a splendid form of exercise--let us add that it is also sometimes a dangerous one.

QUESTIONABLE PLAY

After the boys and girls graduate from grammar school they may come into contact with such agencies as secret societies--which nine times out of ten are questionable--and while we realize that there is a contention both for and against these organizations, we may dismiss the subject here by simply adding that we have known little special good to come out of these societies.

While it may not be any more wrong to hit a ball from the end of a stick--as in billiards--than it is to hit it from a mallet in croquet; or from a stretched tendon, as in tennis; or from a bat, as in baseball--we do not feel that we have to argue the point, when we remind the reader that billiards and pool, especially in the public parlors, do a.s.semble questionable companions, who use questionable language; while these games are often accompanied by betting, which is always to be deplored. And so with card playing, we see no greater harm in playing a game of euchre, than a game of authors, as far as the cards are concerned, but your boy and girl, as well as mine, as a rule, have cleaner and purer minds at the home game of authors than is probable in a game of cards in a public place.

In closing this chapter we have to announce a group of wholesome recreations which may be entered into by our lovely young people--the man and the woman of tomorrow--whom we one and all wish to keep clean and good and pure; all the while helping them to develop the sense of humor and the element of play. Such recreations are tennis, golf, croquet, roque, boating, sledding, skiing, bicycling, motoring, horseback riding, and a host of others too numerous to mention. Let us not forget that ofttimes pursuits such as garden-making and helping the parent in the office or in the home, may be made a great source of enjoyment to the adolescent youth, if they are allowed to earn a small amount of money each week, which they may deposit in the bank.

We close this chapter "Play and Recreation" with the wish that all, old and young, would develop a greater sense of humor, a greater love for play and recreation, which will increase the health of both mind and body and prevent many nervous disorders such as neurasthenia.

CHAPTER x.x.xIX

THE PUNY CHILD

In every neighborhood there is to be found the delicate child, and everywhere anxious mothers are putting forth every effort to improve the condition of their puny boys and girls. In carefully looking over the puny child, we see an underweight little creature with pale skin, and as he comes to the table everybody notes that he refuses more or less food.

DIET AND HYGIENE

As we give the child a closer examination we find that certain lymph glands are enlarged, possibly adenoids are present in the post-nasal pharnyx, and, in many instances, there are badly diseased tonsils.

Usually the puny child is constipated, hands and feet are cold, and he jumps and starts at any unusual noise, thus showing a tendency to nervousness. One of the first things necessary is to take this little one to a good specialist and if necessary have the adenoids and tonsils removed. This having been done, the diet should be carefully looked into. There should be served him for breakfast a generous bowl of dextrinized grains with a good portion of diluted cream, a gla.s.s of rich milk, a baked potato, and fruit. For lunch at twelve o'clock he should be given a gla.s.s of malted milk with egg, or eggnog, six or eight dates or three or four figs, a handful of pecan kernels, and perhaps a lettuce sandwich. For dinner at half past five, another nourishing meal of baked potatoes, a protein dish of either cheese and macaroni or eggs or meat, a generous fruit salad, a gla.s.s of rich milk, and bread and b.u.t.ter, should be enjoyed.

There is no cla.s.s of little folks who eat between meals more often than do these delicate children, for mothers painstakingly endeavor to feed these children all they can possibly take; so one mother thoughtlessly went about it something like this: the half past seven breakfast having been only touched--nibbled at--with the ten o'clock hour came this request: "Mother, I am so hungry, I want something to eat." Eagerly the mother prepared either a meat sandwich or a jelly sandwich and possibly a gla.s.s of milk.

When it was time for the twelve o'clock dinner hour, or lunch hour, again the well-filled plate was refused, the appet.i.te having been satisfied at ten o'clock. Having taken very little nourishment at noon, by half past two the plaintive plea again came to the mother ears: "May I have a piece?" and again the well-meaning mother gave him the desire of his heart. So the day pa.s.sed, the dinner making the fifth time food was taken into the stomach, and in all probability there was eaten a cookie in between. The reader can readily see that the digestion was consequently very much disturbed, fermentation occurred, decomposition of food took place in the digestive tract, with its result--constipation.

IMPROVING THE APPEt.i.tE

Not a morsel should pa.s.s the lips of any child, and particularly our delicate child, between meals. Let him come to the table at half past seven or eight o'clock, and if he does not want to eat tell him frankly that that is all he is to receive until twelve--and stick to it. Nothing more than water or fruit juices should be taken between meals.

It may be necessary to create an appet.i.te for the three meals we have just described, and as we now take up the outdoor hygiene we would not forget that some simple treatment should be inst.i.tuted each day in a well-heated bathroom or bedroom. Roller skating or ice skating, hoop-rolling, rope-skipping, and Irish mail, or a coaster, all furnish splendid exercise for the delicate child. Under no circ.u.mstances should he be allowed to remain all the time in the house; and so pleasing recreations must be provided for him out of doors. The sand pile should not be forgotten, flower-bed making, raking the lawn, a polished coasting board fastened in a slanting position to an upright which can be mounted by means of a ladder, create splendid outdoor sports for these children.

THE DAILY PROGRAM

Take the child into a warm bathroom each morning and let him stand in six inches of well-warmed water. With a rough mitten made out of either mohair, crash, or turkish towel, the entire body should now be rubbed until it is pink. This procedure is known as a dry-friction rub. Do not stop until the skin is pink, particularly the arms and legs, for the back and chest usually get pink quickly. Then with simply a cold dash of water to the feet, dry them well and allow him to dress. Twenty minutes before the meal hour, let him get out of the house and roller skate around the square as many times as he can in twenty minutes, or let him race and have a royal good time in the fresh morning air and then after this forced oxygen intake let him come in to breakfast.

And now for school, and as we say "school," we regret that there are not more "open-air schools." Some day the American people, more particularly the American mothers, will awaken to the fact that we need more schools with simply window s.p.a.ce rather than so many closed gla.s.s windows. Some day we will send our children with sweaters, leggings, stockinet caps, mittens, even in the cool days of spring and fall, to "open-air schools," and in the cool fresh air they will think better and work faster and make wonderful progress in both studies and appet.i.tes.

The particularly delicate child, under treatment, will not spend the whole day in school. In all probability the forenoon session only will be attended, after which the half-past-twelve or one-o'clock meal that has been previously described will be given him. Now if the appet.i.te is variable, arrange a little surprise for him by serving this meal on the porch or in the living-room by the open grate, or out under the trees. In all probability such a meal will be taken eagerly, particularly if the mother will read a pretty story. Now the afternoon is to be spent in doing a number of different things. We would like a pleasant walk, a visit to the park, hoop-rolling, roller-skating, rope-skipping, ice-skating, outdoor sliding, anything that will take our little fellow out of doors to increase his oxygen intake until possibly the half-past-three hour is reached, when he should come into the house and lie down and prepare for the treatment for that particular day.

TREATMENT SUGGESTIONS

Twice a week he should be given a salt glow (described in the Appendix). Twice a week he should be given a thorough soap shampoo (also described in the Appendix). After each of these baths a special rub should be administered to the spine, and as there is so often spinal curvature in these children, certain stretching movements of the spine are valuable, together with hot fomentations (see Appendix) over the spinal centers. These are wonderful stimulants to the delicate child and should precede the salt glow twice a week. Every afternoon a hot-and-cold foot bath may be given to create a better circulation. The feet are put in hot water from three to five minutes (as hot as can be borne), and then they are quickly plunged into the coldest water obtainable for three seconds, then back into the hot water, and vice versa, until three changes have been made, always finishing the treatment with the cold dip. On the three remaining days of the week at half past three, the child will simply relax in the hammock or on the porch couch while the mother aids in the relaxation by a pleasant story. We would suggest that on Monday the salt glow be administered; Tuesday a rest is taken; Wednesday the soap shampoo is to be administered; Thursday another rest; Friday a salt glow; Sat.u.r.day another rest, and Sunday the shampoo, etc.

Before going to bed at night, with the mother's hands well oiled with either olive or sweet oil, the circulation is again stimulated by the heavy friction rub.

Constipation is taken care of along the same lines as mentioned elsewhere in this book.

It is surprising to see how often these delicate children are infested by worms, and while a great deal of dependence cannot be put in that single symptom "grinding the teeth at night," or "pallor around the mouth," yet we do believe that many a delicate child continues to suffer from worms many years. It is a very simple procedure to obtain a specimen of the stools. A cathartic should be given and after usual free-bowel movement, the second time the child desires to go to stool this should be saved and taken to the laboratory for a careful search for worm eggs which are usually in evidence if worms infest the child.

The treatment for worms is described elsewhere in this work.

We have seen scores of young people between the ages of eight and eleven who, before treatment, were pale, listless, under weight, irritable and cross, after three months of such treatment as has been outlined gain six to ten pounds and look as ruddy as their healthiest neighborhood friends. It is perfectly marvelous to notice how a child will put on from six to eight pounds in a short period, at the same time overcoming his irritableness and fretfulness. I am more and more inclined to believe that most bad children are sick children--are undernourished children--and it behooves us American mothers and fathers to give proper attention to this undernourished child, call a halt, and devote three months to giving him the help that he needs. He did not ask to come into this world; and it is "up to us" to give this child what he deserves--for every child in this world has a right to be well born, to be well fed, and to be well reared.

CHAPTER XL

TEACHING TRUTH

We confidently believe that most of the s.e.x immorality seen in young people is more or less the result of ignorance and curiosity; therefore we most earnestly desire in this chapter to portray so interestingly the beautiful story of life as seen in the vegetable and animal world, that our mother-readers will be seized with the great desire wisely to convey to the young child's mind this sublime and beautiful story. The questions most naturally arising in the mind of the reader at this time are: When shall we begin to tell this story?

How shall we tell it? Where shall we begin? Where shall we stop?

Realizing full well that the subject is usually handled prematurely and with unpreparedness, we will attempt in this chapter to discuss it with courage and candor, believing that there is a right way, a right time, and a right place to impart this information.

A LESSON FROM NATURE

When the little folks are about three or four years of age, when confidence and trust are at their height, they often come to us begging for a "story;" and this is the golden opportunity for the parent or caretaker to tell them the story of Mr. and Mrs. Corn, and all their little babies; or Mr. and Mrs. Morning Glory and their little folks. There are a score of other equally interesting and instructive botanical stories which are just as beautiful in their sublimity, and fairy-like in their personality. The little children's eyes grow big with wonder as you tell the story of a whole township of families by the name of Corn (See Fig. 17), who have their residences out in the wide country fields.

[Ill.u.s.tration: Fig. 17]