The Missing Link Part 17

"There he is!" cried Hobbs, "There he is!" He pointed to the Missing Link growling viciously and baring alarming fangs at the back of his cage. "I give him in charge for grievous a.s.sault and attempted murder."

"Come, what's all this, me friend?" asked Constable Dunne, addressing the Professor.

Hobbs had evidently had a few more beers to restore his faculties. He was now courageous enough, but vague in his mind and unsteady on his legs.

"The man irritated my Missing Link, and the animal attacked him, as he deserved," said the celebrated showman.

"Animal be blowed!" yelled Hobbs. "He's 'a man, and I give him in charge."

"Nonsense!" laughed the Professor; "The fellow's drunk!"

Constable Dunne peered at the Missing Link through the cage, and that intelligent animal never looked more malignant.

"A man" said the officer, dubiously; "sure, he ain't lookin' it."

"Arrest him!" said Ivo Hobbs.

"Devil a wan o' me," answered Dunne. "You'd better proceed by summons, me man. 'Tain't me juty to arrist monkeys, an 'twould not be becomin' t'

the' dignity iv an officer iv th' law, anyway, t' be seen draggin' a baste iv thim proportions through the street."

Mr. Hobbs protested indignantly, and beerily, but the constable explained that according to a strict reading of the Act, dogs were not liable to arrest, "and in the oye iv th' law," he said, "monkeys is dogs."

Eventually, Ivo Hobbs went away in Constable Dunne's company to take out a summons. The policeman endeavoured to persuade him to summon Professor Thunder, as the Missing Link's next of kin, but Hobbs stood drunkenly to his belief that the monkey was a man, and so the summons was made out against Mahdi, and was solemnly delivered, citing the Missing Link to appear at the Waddy Police Court on the following morning at 10 o'clock.

"Here's a pickle," growled the proprietor of the world-famous Museum of Marvels.

The Missing Link scratched his head over the doc.u.ment. "I'm nothing of a lawyer," he said, "but I've had a good deal of experience of police courts, and never knew a monkey to be proceeded against for a.s.sault--in fact, nothing lower in the animal kingdom than a Chinaman is amenable to the law."

As a result of a long conference, Professor Thunder went out that evening and cultivated the acquaintance of John Lidlow, J.P. John Lidlow, Esq., J.P., was the local butcher, and Professor Thunder found him a very companionable man with an amiable weakness for raw whiskey.

Affectionately they made a night of it, and in the morning they had a mutual pick-me-up. The pick-me-up was concocted of knock-me-down rum and colonial beer, and ran into several editions.

John Lidlow, Esq., J.P., was uncommonly sleepy and preternaturally solemn in court when the case of Hobbs versus Mahdi was called on for hearing.

Ivo Hobbs explained his grievance clearly, and when the defendant was called upon, Professor Thunder stepped forward and explained:

"The defendant, Your Worship, is my justly-celebrated man-monkey, Mahdi, the Missing Link."

"Is he a man or a monkey?" asked the court, drowsily, opening one eye.

"He's a bit of both, but mainly monkey, Your Worship."

"It's a lie, he's a man," cried Hobbs.

"Silence in the Court!" said His Worship, with portentous hauteur, "or I'll give you ten days for contempt. The defendant must be brought before us."

"But, Your Worship," exclaimed the Professor, "it would not be safe, I a.s.sure you, The animal is wild. He was irritated by this man, it would not be safe to take him from his cage. He might attack the court."

"Eh, what's that?" e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed the magistrate. "Attack the court? We don't allow that kind of thing here. I'd give the beggar twelve months."

Constable Dunne whispered to the court, and Professor Thunder enlarged upon the shocking temper of the Missing Link when roused.

"Very well," said the Magistrate, "if he cannot be brought to this court, the court will go to him. Justice must be done. This court stands adjourned to Professor Thunder's Museum of Marvels."

Very gravely John Lidlow, J.P., led the court to Professor Thunder's tents, and sedately he established himself behind a table before the cage of the Missing Link, and again the case was called on.

"The Missing Link pleads guilty, Your Worship," said Constable Dunne.

Professor Thunder whispered to him. "Through his next iv kin, Yer Worship," continued Dunne.

"With extenuating circ.u.mstances. Your Worship," said the Professor. "This man attacked my Missing Link with a stick."

The Missing Link at this moment bounded against the front of the cage with a blood-curdling growl, making seemingly frantic efforts to get at Ivo Hobbs. One of the bars broke before his terrific onslaught, and through the apperture Mahdi s.n.a.t.c.hed and snapped at his adversary of yesterday, growling horribly the while.

With a 'ell of terror Hobbs fled into a cement barrel.

The Missing Link flopped from his cage, and advanced upon the J.P.

The sight so upset the court in the person of John Lidlow that it sat for a moment, staring in blank horror across the table set for its convenience, then slowly tilted over in its chair, and fell heavily on the back of its neck, picked itself up, and made a bolt for the open. At the tent door the court turned for a moment, and cried breathlessly:

"Fined five shillings or two days," and then it dashed out and away.

Professor Thunder paid the fine with the greatest goodwill, considering the advertis.e.m.e.nt an ample recompense. Besides this presentation at court was a useful testimony in support of the his claims of the Missing Link, and the Waddy Bugle's grave account of the trial under "Police Court News" was added to the archives of the Museum.

CHAPTER XVI.

THE KIDNAPPERS.

LOO was a small triangular township, subsisting on agriculture, road traffic, and the patronage of thirsty shearers and station hands from runs within a half-day's ride of Sawyer's "Emu Hotel," which was the incisive point of the triangle.

Thunder's tent was pitched on a small clearing facing the "Emu Hotel."

and Professor Thunder, clad somewhat after the manner of the bushranger in lurid Australian melodrama, in high boots, cord trousers, a red shirt, and an immense cabbage-tree hat, stood on a borrowed rum keg at the door of his show, and earnestly besought Sawyer's customers to visit his unrivalled show and complete their education.

"Roll up, gents, roll up, roll up, roll up!" cried the Professor, in a voice keyed to stir the whole town ship. "Bring your families to learn how man sprang from the ape, and when the ape's got claws like my gorilla's he shows his good sense in springing. Walk in, walk in, walk in, all together, one after the other, and witness the most miraculous performance of Madame Marve, the Egyptian Mystic, converse with the educated pig, and behold for the first time the amazing Missing Link, the wonder of the universe, the only true authentic Missing Link now in captivity, certified correct in every particular by the great Darwin himself, and approved by all the crowned heads of Europe."

It was Sat.u.r.day noon, and the township of Loo was rapidly filling with convivial shearers. The sheds were cutting out at Dim Distance, Devil's Bend, and the Emu, and the men were full of money, and eager for beer and diversion.

When a score or so had collected inside, the Professor came down from his keg, and a.s.sumed the office of lecturer, explaining the quaint physical peculiarities of Matty Cann, and the intellectual eminence of the educated pig, and then pa.s.sing to his trump card--the Missing Link.

"Here we have, gentlemen," he exclaimed, "a living exemplification of the truth of the teachings o the great Darwin. Behold the descent of man in all its stages, from the smallest ape that capers on the rocky declivities of the Himalaya Mountains, to the n.o.ble Missing Link himself, having the splendid proportions of the human man, and almost his G.o.d like intellect."

One party of four young shearers from Devil's Bend exhibited great interest in Mahdi.

"D'yeh mean t' say that animal's worth four thousan' quid?" asked one of these.

"Four thousand seven hundred pounds, fifteen shillings, is the exact sum what was offered me by the Anthropological Society of Berlin," said the Professor, "but I wouldn't part with him for ten thousand."

The shearers marvelled together, and watched Mahdi's movements with deep attention, and Nickie, acting up to instructions, glowered in the shade.

When a visitor wanted to look into details, the Missing Link displayed quite human astuteness in retreating into cover in the gloom.

"Suppose he's like us in most iv his ways?" continued Bill. "Does he smoke, 'r chew, 'r drink?"