The Missing Boatman Part 25

"To prove a point," Frank shot back. "I don't care for these little s.h.i.ts anymore. That's all they are. Little runny, complaining s.h.i.ts! That's what I've had to endure since I don't know when, and my job is hard enough without the disrespect I get from them."

Frank paused and drew in breath. He shook his head to clear it. "Jesus, I'm p.i.s.sed off now! I'm going for a beer."

He boarded the golf cart. H immediately climbed in alongside.

"You stayin'?" Frank demanded of H2.

"Yeah."

Scowling at what he regarded as turncoat behaviour, Frank started the cart up and drove off, pushing it to whatever speed it could muster.

H2 watched the little vehicle tear off across the greens. An expression of sadness hung on his face. He glanced at his shoes before turning his attention to the couple still crouching on the ground. His shoulders hunched up in a shrug before he walked over to them.

"Sorry about that," he said. "Frank wasn't in a good mood to start with. Bad day on the course. I'm H2."

He offered his hand, and Tony stood up and reluctantly took it. They broke contact, and Lucy gripped both of his hands, again. He could smell her hair and the strawberry shampoo she had used. It all made Tony feel tons better.

"Bad day, huh?" Tony said to H2.

The man smiled. "Yeah. Frank sucks at golf."

H2 was slim and dressed something like a brand name dork, Tony thought. He spied the little horse on the left side of the red sweater and the cla.s.sy looking deck shoes. He was clean shaven and relatively handsome. A hint of a five o clock shadow gave his dark eyes an even more seductive edge, and Tony figured he played up those eyes every chance he got.

"When did you get here, Lucy?" H2 asked her, full lips pouting. "And why didn't you call me?"

"I was watching this guy," she informed him gently, exposing her beautiful teeth.

"Forgot about me already then," H2 said. "Y'know, Lucy, I've never quite forgotten how you left me in that New York restaurant. I thought you were a little better than that."

A different kind of heat suddenly flared inside Tony now, and he barely managed to look at Lucy, still holding his hands as calmly as possible.

Lucy gave H2 a wry look. "I am a little better than that. I guess I just got a little tired of all the touchy-feeliness going on."

H2 drew back, mortified. "I hardly touched you! Well, your hand, I'll grant you that."

"I'm talking about the maitre d'. The brunette with the C-cups."

This caused a look of careful thought to appear on H2's face. "Oh, her! You mean Victoria! She was just a friend."

"You nibble on your friend's ears, do you?" Lucy asked, frowning.

"Some of them," H2 smiled warmly and looked to Tony. "My apologies. Old adventures being demystified. Happened years ago."

Tony could only nod. Old adventures? The heat was scalding him inside now, and he fought to control his features. His back straightened altogether too straight, his eyes looked too uncaring. And he could sense it. He was screwed.

"He," Tony indicated H, "he uses our time," he said to Lucy. He did not know what else to say after the brief exchange between the two... what? Old lovers? Oh, Jesus Christ, he hoped not.

"I never said we don't use it," Lucy explained, still ma.s.saging his hands. H2 noticed it as well and smiled again. Tony did not like that smile. It made him think of what a h.o.r.n.y coyote might look like.

"If you're into hand ma.s.sages, Lucy, I'd love to be next," H2 said in a slick voice and matching smile.

"Sorry," Lucy said, but the smile she returned him made Tony's insecurity geyser. "I'm busy. And this one seems to be just about done. Feeling better?"

"Yeah," Tony said as she released his hands.

H2 a.s.sessed him for a moment, dark eyes sly with confidence. "Ain't much of a talker, is he?"

"He talks when he wants to," Lucy told him.

"He knows what's going on?" H2 asked.

"Yep," she replied, popping the 'p.'

"How did he take it?"

"I'm right here," Tony said a little too testily. "You can ask me."

H2 nodded. "But I'd rather speak to her if you don't mind, chief."

Tony was really beginning to dislike H2. Not only for the way he spoke to Lucy and for the jealous vibes he invoked, but for calling him "chief". Tony hated people who, just after meeting you and forgetting your name, would go on and label you with a pleasant sounding buddy-like tag as if they knew you were a swell person.

"I'd rather you speak to him," Lucy said, hands now on her hips. Tony almost leapt for joy.

"Very well, then," H2 said, as smooth as b.u.t.ter. "Good guess there with Frank's name, by the way."

"You mean Death?"

"Yeah. You took him and the rest of us off guard there. Not too often that happens."

Tony sure as h.e.l.l didn't see that at the time, but thinking back, he guessed he did surprise the man.

"Lucy told me," Tony admitted.

"I know," H2 smiled, implying there was no other way Tony could have come up with Frank's name, or any other solid line of deduction for that matter. "But it was worth it to see. When you've hung around the Reaper as long as I have, you start to enjoy the little slips and shocks you people give him when his guard's down."

" You people?" Tony asked, frowning.

"Mundanes," H2 clarified, chuckling as he said it.

That made Tony glance at Lucy, who did not say anything. He regarded the man in red. "Y'know, I think I might know your name, too."

H2 paused. "My name?"

"Yeah."

"I've told you my name."

"No," Tony countered. "You've told me a name. Not your real name though."

"Oh, really?" H2 almost sneered. "So what is it?"

"I know your name," Tony repeated, looking at H2.

"No, you don't," H2 replied, grinning at if he were talking to a child.

"Yes, I do."

"No, you don't."

"Yes, I do."

"Say it then."

"And have my head explode?"

"I thought you explained things to him," H2 asked Lucy.

"She told me enough," Tony answered for her, and hoped, in a quick afterthought, she would not be p.i.s.sed with him for doing so.

"Then," H2 aimed at him, "you know you can't die."

The words made Tony blink as they entered his head and rattled around. Then you know you can't die. Holy squirrel s.h.i.t! That applied to him!

"I can't die?" he asked Lucy, amazed.

Lucy shook her head.

The thought took time to sink in. "I can't die," Tony repeated to himself.

H2 shook his head in disbelief.

Tony stared off into s.p.a.ce. "That's f.u.c.ked up."

"I wouldn't say it, anyway, Tony," Lucy said. "There are plenty of people who are alive these days but are brain dead."

"But they still have their heads?" Tony asked.

Lucy faltered. "Yes," she answered uncertainly.

"So how can my head explode and I not die?"

"It's..." she stretched the 's', "difficult to explain."

"She could be lying," H2 threw in.

Lucy flashed him a look of annoyance. "You can stop it right there, buster. I know what you like to play at, and I'm not having any of it right now. And you should be ashamed at even trying any of it. Especially in these times."

The unexpected barrage from Lucy caused H2's smile to melt off his face. A schoolboy expression of shame appeared. Tony had to admit the boy was good. He almost felt like rushing in and apologizing for something he didn't do. It struck him then that this H2 character was an incredibly dangerous and manipulative man. Two good reasons to f.u.c.k up that face.

"So lay off!" Lucy jabbed a finger at him.

H2 was quiet for a moment before apologizing. "You're completely right. Sorry. I'm sorry."

"That's better," Lucy said.

Tony kept his eyes on the well-dressed coyote, thinking that farmers just might have the right ideaand solutionwith shotguns.

"Now," Lucy took a breath "let's get back to the job at hand."

"I'd rather get back to a hand job," H2 smiled evilly.

"Which is?" Tony asked, ignoring H2.

"Getting Franklin to start killing people again," H2 said out of the corner of his mouth.

An exasperated sigh left Lucy. "He doesn't kill them. He saves them. Or steals them. Depending on which argument you take."

"What d'you mean?" Tony wanted to know.

"Death will tell you," Lucy said, looking at him. She studied him for a moment. "He'll tell you a lot of things, I think."

"s.h.i.tloads," H2 added.

"And there'll be plenty of stuff," Lucy emphasized with a black look in H2's direction, "that'll you'll probably not want to know."

"Like what?" Tony asked.

Lucy shrugged. "I don't know. He's Death, Tony. He's bound to know a few things, and right now, he's angry."

"And why is he angry, again?" Tony asked. "Shouldn't I be angry at him? I mean, he's letting all these people live and suffer, right?"

"We are all frustrated with him," Lucy blurted out and stopped herself from saying more. H2 grinned wryly at her. She ignored him, "and we've told him so, but he only gets angrier at us."

"Why would he get angrier?" Tony asked, suddenly confused.

"Because," H2 stepped in, "he thinks he's right."

"Is he?"

Both Lucy and H2 were silent.

"Well?"

The silence went on.

"Why is he right, then?" Tony demanded.

"It's because of you, Tony," Lucy began. "People. Mundanes. Mortals. You've-excuse me-you've been blaming Death for centuries for so many things now that he's fed up with you. He's like a kitchen hand tired of cleaning up after the cooks and being needled and ridiculed and jeered at and hated for doing nothing more than his job."