The 'Mind the Paint' Girl Part 2

Yes, and as good as she's beautiful; you take it from me. [_With a wave of the hand._] Well, if you see Jeyes, you won't----?

FARNCOMBE.

Not a word.

ROPER.

[_Rising and walking away to the left._] I've warned the others.

[_Returning to FARNCOMBE who has also risen._] By-the-bye, if Lily should mention the supper in the course of conversation, remember, _she's_ not in the conspiracy.

FARNCOMBE.

Conspiracy?

ROPER.

To shunt Nicko. We're letting her think there are to be no outsiders.

FARNCOMBE.

[_Becoming slightly puzzled by ROPER'S manner._] Why, would she very much like Captain Jeyes to be asked?

ROPER.

[_Rather impatiently._] Haven't I told you, once you're a friend of Lil's----! [_Looking towards the door._] Is this Ma? [_MRS. UPJOHN enters._] Hul-lo, Ma!

MRS. UPJOHN.

[_A podgy little, gaily dressed woman of five-and-fifty with a stupid, good-humoured face._] 'Ullo, Uncle!

ROPER.

Lord Farncombe----

MRS. UPJOHN.

[_Advancing and shaking hands with FARNCOMBE._] Glad to see you 'ere again. You _'ave_ been before, 'aven't you?

FARNCOMBE.

Last week.

MRS. UPJOHN.

Of course; you came with Mr. Bertie Fulkerson. But somebody or other's always poppin' in. [_Pleasantly._] Lil sees too many, _I_ say. It's tirin' for 'er. Won't you set?

ROPER.

Lord Farncombe's brought Lily some flowers, Ma. [_To FARNCOMBE._]

Where are they?

FARNCOMBE.

[_Who, after waiting for MRS. UPJOHN to settle herself upon the settee in front of the writing-table, sits in the chair at the end of the settee-- pointing to a large basket of flowers._] On the piano.

MRS. UPJOHN.

[_Barely glancing at the flowers._] 'Ow kind of 'im! Sech a waste o'

money too! They do go off so quick.

ROPER.

[_Reading the cards attached to the various floral gifts._] Where _is_ Lil?

MRS. UPJOHN.

She's settin' to a risin' young artist in Fitzroy Street-- Claude Morgan. She won't be 'ome till past five. So tirin' for 'er.

ROPER.

Never heard of Morgan.

MRS. UPJOHN.

No, nor anybody else. That's what I tell 'er. Why waste your time givin' settin's to a risin' young artist when the big men 'ud go down on their 'ands and knees to do you? But that's Lil all over. She's the best-natured girl in the world, and so she gets imposed on all round.

FARNCOMBE.

[_Gallantly._] I prophesy that Mr. Morgan's picture of Miss Parradell won't have dried before he's quite famous.

MRS. UPJOHN.

[_Turning a pair of dull eyes full upon him._] 'Ow do you mean?

FARNCOMBE.

[_Disconcerted._] Er-- I mean--

MRS. UPJOHN.

_Why_ won't it 'ave dried?

FARNCOMBE.

I mean he will have become celebrated _before_ it has dried.

MRS. UPJOHN.