The Melting-Pot Part 11

Is that the _best_ tea-set?

KATHLEEN Can't you see it's the Pa.s.sover set!

[_Ruefully_]

And shpiled intirely it'll be now for our Pa.s.sover.... And the misthress thought the visitors might like to thry some of her _Purim_ cakes.

[_Indicates ear-shaped cakes on tray._]

MENDEL [_Bitterly_]

_Purim_ cakes!

[_He turns his back on her and stares moodily out of the window._]

KATHLEEN [_Mutters contemptuously_]

Call yerself a Jew and you forgettin' to keep _Purim_!

[_She is going back to the kitchen when a merry Slavic dance breaks out, softened by the door; her feet unconsciously get more and more into dance step, and at last she jigs out. As she opens and pa.s.ses through the door, the music sounds louder._]

FRAU QUIXANO [_Heard from kitchen_]

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Kathleen!!

[_MENDEL'S feet, too, begin to take the swing of the music, and his feet dance as he stares out of the window. Suddenly the hoot of an automobile is heard, followed by the rattling up of the car._]

MENDEL Ah, she has brought somebody swell!

[_He throws open the doors and goes out eagerly to meet the visitors. The dance music goes on softly throughout the scene._]

QUINCY DAVENPORT [_Outside_]

Oh, thank you--I leave the coats in the car.

[_Enter an instant later QUINCY DAVENPORT and VERA REVENDAL, MENDEL in the rear. VERA is dressed much as before, but with a motor veil, which she takes off during the scene. DAVENPORT is a dude, aping the air of a European sporting clubman. Aged about thirty-five and well set-up, he wears an orchid and an intermittent eyegla.s.s, and gives the impression of a coa.r.s.e-fibred and patronisingly facetious but not bad-hearted man, spoiled by prosperity._]

MENDEL Won't you be seated?

VERA First let me introduce my friend, who is good enough to interest himself in your nephew--Mr. Quincy Davenport.

MENDEL [_Struck of a heap_]

Mr. Quincy Davenport! How strange!

VERA What is strange?

MENDEL David just mentioned Mr. Davenport's name--said they travelled to New York on the same boat.

QUINCY Impossible! Always travel on my own yacht. Slow but select. Must have been another man of the same name--my dad. Ha! Ha! Ha!

MENDEL Ah, of course. I thought you were too young.

QUINCY My dad, Miss Revendal, is one of those antiquated Americans who are always in a hurry!

VERA He burns coal and you burn time.

QUINCY Precisely! Ha! Ha! Ha!

MENDEL Won't you sit down--I'll go and prepare David.

VERA [_Sitting_]

You've not prepared him yet?

MENDEL I've tried to more than once--but I never really got to---- [_He smiles_]

to Germany.

[_QUINCY sits._]

VERA Then prepare him for _three_ visitors.

MENDEL Three?

VERA You see Mr. Davenport himself is no judge of music.

QUINCY [_Jumps up_]

I beg your pardon.

VERA In ma.n.u.script.

QUINCY Ah, of course not. Music should be heard, not seen--like that jolly jig.

Is that your David?

MENDEL Oh, you mustn't judge him by that. He's just fooling.

QUINCY Oh, he'd better not fool with Poppy. Poppy's awful severe.

MENDEL Poppy?

QUINCY Pappelmeister--my private orchestra conductor.

MENDEL Is it _your_ orchestra Pappelmeister conducts?

QUINCY Well, I pay the piper--and the drummer too!

[_He chuckles._]

MENDEL [_Sadly_]

_I_ wanted to play in it, but he turned me down.

QUINCY I told you he was awful severe.

[_To VERA_]

He only allows me comic opera once a week. My wife calls him the Bismarck of the baton.

MENDEL [_Reverently_]

A great conductor!

QUINCY Would he have a twenty-thousand-dollar job with me if he wasn't? Not that he'd get half that in the open market--only I have to stick it on to keep him for my guests exclusively.

[_Looks at watch._]

But he ought to be here, confound him. A conductor should keep time, eh, Miss Revendal?

[_He sn.i.g.g.e.rs._]

MENDEL I'll bring David. Won't you help yourselves to tea?

[_To VERA_]