The Lincoln Story Book Part 12

A LIGHTNING-ROD TO PROTECT A GUILTY CONSCIENCE!

One term in the Illinois State legislature only whetted the predestined politician for a seat again at that table, though it was not he who won the loaves and the fishes. He was to speak at Springfield, the more gloriously welcomed as he was prominent in the movement hereafter realized, of changing the capital from Vandalia to this more energetic town.

The meeting had foreboded ill, as a serious wrangle between two of the preceding speakers threatened to end in a challenge to a duel, still a fashionable diversion. But Lincoln intervened with a speech so enthralling that the hearers forgot the dispute and heard him out with rapture. He had found the proper way to manage his voice, never musical, by controlling the nasal tw.a.n.g into a monotonous but audible sharpness, "carrying" to a great distance. He was followed by one George Forquer (Farquhar or Forquier), a facing-both-ways, profit-taking politician, who had achieved his end by obtaining an office. This was the land-office register at this town. He had been a prominent Whig representative in 1834. The turncoat a.s.sailed Lincoln bitterly (much as Pitt was derided in his beginning) and had begun his piece by announcing that "the young man (Lincoln) must be taken down."

As if to live up to the lucrative berth, Mr. Forquer had finished a frame-house--Springfield still had log houses, and not only in the environs, either!--and to cap the novelty, had that other new feature, a lightning-rod, put upon it. The object of the slur at youth had listened to the diatribe, flattering only so far as he was singled out.

Mr. Joshua F. Speed, a bosom friend of Lincoln, reports the retort as follows:

"The gentleman says that 'this young man must be taken down.' It is for you, not for me, to say whether I am up or down. The gentleman has alluded to my being a young man; I am older in years than in the tricks and trades of politicians.

"I desire to live, and I desire place and distinction as a politician; but I would rather die now than, like the gentleman, live to see the day that I would have to erect a lightning-rod to protect a guilty conscience from an offended G.o.d!"

Mr. Speed says that the reply was characterized by great force and dignity. The happy image of the lightning-rod for a conscience has pa.s.sed into the fixed-star stage of a household word throughout the West.

FIRING ON A FLEA FOR A SQUIRREL.

In 1841, while serving a term in the Illinois legislature, Lincoln was the longest of the Sangamon representatives, distinguished as the Long Nine. They were much hampered by an old member who tried to put a stopper upon any measure on the set ground that it was "un-con-sti-tu-tional." Lincoln was selected to "spike his gun."

A measure was introduced benefiting the Sangamon district, so that its electee might befittingly push it, and defend it. He was warrantably its usher when the habitual interrupter bawled his stereotyped:

"Unconst.i.tutional!"

The "quasher" is reported as follows in the local press, if not in the journal of the House, which one need not, perhaps, consult:

"Mr. Speaker," said the son of the Sangamon Vale, "the attack of the member from Wabash County upon the un-con-sti-tu-tion-al-i-ty of this measure reminds me of an old friend of mine.

"He k a peculiar-looking old fellow, with s.h.a.ggy, overhanging eyebrows, and a pair of spectacles under them. (This description fitted the Wabash member, at whom all gaze was directed.)

"One morning just after the old soul got up, he imagined he saw a gray squirrel on a tree near his house. So he took down his rifle, and fired at the squirrel, as he believed, but the squirrel paid no attention to the shot. He loaded and fired again and again, until, at the thirteenth shot, he set down his gun impatiently, and said to his boy, looking on:

"'Boy, there's something wrong about this rifle.'

"'Rifle's all right--I know it is,' answered the boy; 'but where's your squirrel?'

"'Don't you see him, humped up about half-way up the tree?' inquired the old man, peering over his spectacles and getting mystified.

"'No, I don't,' responded the boy; and then turning and looking into his father's face, he exclaimed: 'Yes, I spy your squirrel! You have been firing at a flea on your own brow!'"

This modern version of seeing the mote and not the beam in one's own eye smothered the member for Wabash in laughter, and he _dropped_ the standard objection of "unconst.i.tutional" as he had not his mark.

THE CREAM OF THE JOKE.

By reason of the distances and the lonesomeness, it was the pleasant habit of candidates to make their electioneering tours together. In seeking reelection in 1838, Lincoln was accompanied by Mr. Ewing. They stopped at one country house about dark, when the good wife was going a-milking, while her husband was still a-field. Intent on securing her, as she had the repute of being "the gray mare," the two partizans accompanied her to the paddock. Ewing, to show his gallantry as well as his familiarity with farm work--a main point in such communities--offered to relieve the dame of the pail and fill it, while she rested. In the meantime, Lincoln chatted with her, so that Ewing could hardly get a word in. At his finishing his self-chosen task, he beheld the pair deeply absorbed, for Lincoln had exercised his glib tongue to such advantage as to secure her influence over her man's vote.

PARALLEL COURSES.

In the thirteenth Congress, Jefferson Davis was in the Senate, while Lincoln and Alexander Stephens were in the House.

JUMPING JIM CROW!

When in Congress, he was a conscience Whig, as opposed to the cotton ones--that is, for the anti-slavery doctrine and not "cottoning" for the South. He wrote home:

"As you (at Springfield) are all so anxious for me to distinguish myself, I have concluded to do so before long." He nearly ex-tinguished himself, for suddenly he went right about face-- according to the popular song--quite a political if not a politic course:

You wheel about and jump about, and do just so!

And ebery time you jump about, you jump Jim Crow!

He had gone against the general tide in hindering the Mexican War as sure to bring Texas into the Union as a slave State, yet now he espoused its hero, "Rough and Ready" Taylor. He had to excuse himself as recognizing that the general was the Whigs' best candidate, and as the Whig National Convention agreed with him, the apparent truckling was condoned.

FACTS ARE STUBBORN THINGS.

"Your letter on McClellan reminds me of a story that I (A. Lincoln) heard in Washington, when I was here before. There was an editor in Rhode Island noted for his love of fun--it came to him irresistibly--and he could not help saying just what came to his mind.

He was appointed postmaster by Tyler. Some time after Tyler vetoed the Bank Bill, and came into disrepute with the Whigs, a conundrum went the round of the papers. It was as follows: 'Why is John Tyler like an a.s.s?' This editor copied the conundrum and could not resist the temptation to answer it, which he did thus: 'Because he _is_ an a.s.s!' This piece of fun cost him his head--but it was a fact!"--(_Chatauque Democrat_.)

THE PARTY GAD.

"In 1846, General Ca.s.s was for the (Wilmot) Proviso [Footnote: Wilmot Proviso: that money to buy Mexican land should not go toward slave-buying.] at once; in March, 1846, he was still for it, but not just then; and in December, 1847, he was against it altogether. When the question was raised in 1846, he was in a bl.u.s.tering hurry to take ground for it. He sought to be in advance, and to avoid the uninteresting position of a mere follower; but soon he began to see a glimpse of the great Democratic ox-gad waving in his face, and to hear indistinctly a voice saying:

"'Back, back, sir; back a little!'

"He shakes his head and bats his eyes, and blunders back to his position of March, 1847; and still the gad waves and the voice grows more distinct and sharper still:

"'Back, sir! back, I say! farther back!' And back he goes to the position of December, 1847, at which the gad is still, and the voice soothingly says: