The Light Shines in Darkness Part 7

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. Well then, try and understand! This may not be a convenient time, but heaven knows when we shall find a convenient time.

Understand not me--but yourself: the meaning of your own life! We can't go on living like this without knowing what we are living for.

MARY IVaNOVNA. We have lived so, and lived very happily. [Noticing a look of vexation on his face] All right, all right, I am listening.

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. Yes, I too lived so--that is to say, without thinking why I lived; but a time came when I was terror-struck. Well, here we are, living on other people's labour--making others work for us--bringing children into the world and bringing them up to do the same. Old age will come, and death, and I shall ask myself: "Why have I lived?" In order to breed more parasites like myself? And, above all, we do not even enjoy this life. It is only endurable, you know, while, like Vanya, you overflow with life's energy.

MARY IVaNOVNA. But everybody lives like that.

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. And they are all unhappy.

MARY IVaNOVNA. Not at all.

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. Anyhow, I saw that I was terribly unhappy, and that I made you and the children unhappy, and I asked myself: "Is it possible that G.o.d created us for this end?" And as soon as I thought of it, I felt at once that he had not. I asked myself: "What, then, has G.o.d created us for?"

Enter Man-servant.

MARY IVaNOVNA [Not listening to her husband, turns to Servant] Bring some boiled cream.

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. And in the Gospels I found the answer, that we certainly should not live for our own sake. That revealed itself to me very clearly once, when I was pondering over the parable of the labourers in the vineyard. You know?

MARY IVaNOVNA. Yes, the labourers.

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. That parable seemed to show me more clearly than anything else where my mistake had been. Like those labourers I had thought that the vineyard was my own, and that my life was my own, and everything seemed dreadful; but as soon as I had understood that my life is not my own, but that I am sent into the world to do the will of G.o.d ...

MARY IVaNOVNA. But what of it? We all know that!

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. Well, if we know it we cannot go on living as we are doing, for our whole life--far from being a fulfilment of His will--is, on the contrary, a continual transgression of it.

MARY IVaNOVNA. But how is it a transgression--when we live without doing harm to anyone?

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. But are we doing no harm? Such an outlook on life is just like that of those labourers. Why we ...

MARY IVaNOVNA. Yes, I know the parable--and that he paid them all equally.

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH [after a pause] No, it's not that. But do, Mary, consider one thing--that we have only one life, and can live it well, or can waste it.

MARY IVaNOVNA. I can't think and argue! I don't sleep at night; I am nursing. I have to manage the whole house, and instead of helping me, you say things to me that I don't understand.

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. Mary!

MARY IVaNOVNA. And now these visitors.

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. No, let us come to an understanding. [Kisses her]

Shan't we?

MARY IVaNOVNA. Yes, only be like you used to be.

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. I can't, but now listen.

The sound of bells and an approaching vehicle are heard.

MARY IVaNOVNA. I can't now--they have arrived! I must go to meet them.

[Exit behind corner of house. Styopa and Lyuba follow her].

VaNYA. We shan't abandon it; we must finish the game later. Well, Lyuba, what now?

LYuBA [seriously] No nonsense, please.

Alexandra Ivanovna, with her husband and Lisa, come out on to the verandah. Nicholas Ivanovich paces up and down wrapt in thought.

ALEXaNDRA IVaNOVNA. Well, have you convinced her?

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. Alina, what is going on between us is very important. Jokes are out of place. It is not I who am convincing her, but life, truth, G.o.d: they are convincing her--therefore she cannot help being convinced, if not to-day then to-morrow, if not to-morrow ... It is awful that no one ever has time. Who is it that has just come?

PETER SEMYoNOVICH. It's the Cheremshanovs. Catiche Cheremshanov, whom I have not met for eighteen years. The last time I saw her we sang together: "La ci darem la mano." [Sings].

ALEXaNDRA IVaNOVNA. Please don't interrupt us, and don't imagine that I shall quarrel with Nicholas. I am telling the truth. [To Nicholas Ivanovich] I am not joking at all, but it seemed to me strange that you wanted to convince Mary just when she had made up her mind to have it out with you!

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. Very well, very well. They are coming. Please tell Mary I shall be in my room. [Exit].

Curtain.

ACT II

SCENE 1

In the same country-house, a week later. The scene represents a large dining-hall. The table is laid for tea and coffee, with a samovar. A grand piano and a music-stand are by the wall. Mary Ivanovna, the Princess and Peter Semyonovich are seated at the table.

PETER SEMYoNOVICH. Ah, Princess, it does not seem so long ago since you were singing Rosina's part, and I ... though nowadays I am not fit even for a Don Basilio.

PRINCESS. Our children might do the singing now, but times have changed.

PETER SEMYoNOVICH. Yes, these are matter-of-fact times ... But your daughter plays really seriously and well. Where are the young folk? Not asleep still, surely?

MARY IVaNOVNA. Yes, they went out riding by moonlight last night, and returned very late. I was nursing baby and heard them.

PETER SEMYoNOVICH. And when will my better-half be back? Have you sent the coachman for her?

MARY IVaNOVNA. Yes, they went for her quite early; I expect she will be here soon.

PRINCESS. Did Alexandra Ivanovna really go on purpose to fetch Father Gerasim?

MARY IVaNOVNA. Yes, the idea occurred to her yesterday, and she was off at once.