The Light Shines in Darkness Part 6

ALEXaNDRA IVaNOVNA. Well, as to that, allow me to have my doubts.

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. But I have no doubts. For you know, this is not any invention of my own; it is only what we all of us know, and what Christ revealed to us.

ALEXaNDRA IVaNOVNA. Yes, you think Christ revealed this, but I think he revealed something else.

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. It cannot be anything else.

Shouts from the tennis ground.

LYuBA. Out!

VaNYA. No, we saw it.

LISA. I know. It fell just here!

LYuBA. Out! Out! Out!

VaNYA. It's not true.

LYuBA. For one thing, it's rude to say "It's not true."

VaNYA. And it's rude to say what is not true!

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. Just wait a bit, and don't argue, but listen. Isn't it true that at any moment we may die, and either cease to exist, or go to G.o.d who expects us to live according to His will?

ALEXaNDRA IVaNOVNA. Well?

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. Well, what can I do in this life other than what the supreme judge in my soul, my conscience--G.o.d--requires of me? And my conscience--G.o.d--requires that I should regard everybody as equal, love everybody, serve everybody.

ALEXaNDRA IVaNOVNA. Your own children too?

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. Naturally, my own too, but obeying all that my conscience demands. Above all, that I should understand that my life does not belong to me--nor yours to you--but to G.o.d, who sent us into the world and who requires that we should do His will. And His will is ...

ALEXaNDRA IVaNOVNA. And you think that you will persuade Mary of this?

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. Certainly.

ALEXaNDRA IVaNOVNA. And that she will give up educating the children properly, and will abandon them? Never!

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. Not only will she understand, but you too will understand that it is the only thing to do.

ALEXaNDRA IVaNOVNA. Never!

Enter Mary Ivanovna.

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. Well, Mary! I didn't wake you this morning, did I?

MARY IVaNOVNA. No, I was not asleep. And have you had a successful day?

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. Yes, very.

MARY IVaNOVNA. Why, your coffee is quite cold! Why do you drink it like that? By the way, we must prepare for our visitors. You know the Cheremshanovs are coming?

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. Well, if you're glad to have them, I shall be very pleased.

MARY IVaNOVNA. I like her and her children, but they have chosen a rather inconvenient time for their visit.

ALEXaNDRA IVaNOVNA [rising] Well, talk matters over with him, and I'll go and watch the tennis.

A pause, then Mary Ivanovna and Nicholas Ivanovich begin both talking at once.

MARY IVaNOVNA. It's inconvenient, because we must have a talk.

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. I was just saying to Aline ...

MARY IVaNOVNA. What?

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. No, you speak first.

MARY IVaNOVNA. Well, I wanted to have a talk with you about Styopa.

After all, something _must_ be decided. He, poor fellow, feels depressed, and does not know what awaits him. He came to me, but how can I decide?

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. Why decide? He can decide for himself.

MARY IVaNOVNA. But, you know, he wants to enter the Horse-Guards as a volunteer, and in order to do that he must get you to countersign his papers, and he must also be in a position to keep himself; and you don't give him anything. [Gets excited].

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. Mary, for heaven's sake don't get excited, but listen to me. I don't give or withhold anything. To enter military service of one's own free will, I consider either a stupid, insensate action, suitable for a savage if the man does not understand the evil of his action, or despicable if he does it from an interested motive....

MARY IVaNOVNA. But nowadays everything seems savage and stupid to you.

After all, he must live; you lived!

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH [getting irritable] I lived when I did not understand; and when n.o.body gave me good advice. However, it does not depend on me but on him.

MARY IVaNOVNA. How not on you? It's you who don't give him an allowance.

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. I can't give what is not mine!

MARY IVaNOVNA. Not yours? What do you mean?

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. The labour of others does not belong to me. To give him money, I must first take it from others. I have no right to do that, and I cannot do it! As long as I manage the estate I must manage it as my conscience dictates; and I cannot give the fruits of the toil of the overworked peasants to be spent on the debaucheries of Life-Guardsmen.

Take over my property, and then I shall not be responsible!

MARY IVaNOVNA. You know very well that I don't want to take it, and moreover I can't. I have to bring up the children, besides nursing them and bearing them. It is cruel!

NICHOLAS IVaNOVICH. Mary, dear one! That is not the main thing. When you began to speak I too began and wanted to talk to you quite frankly. We must not go on like this. We are living together, but don't understand one another. Sometimes we even seem to misunderstand one another on purpose.

MARY IVaNOVNA. I want to understand, but I don't. No, I don't understand you. I do not know what has come to you.