The Life of a Celebrated Buccaneer Part 24

"If you remember, sir, we placed the matter in the hands of our faithful friend and ally, King Hokeepokeewonkeefum, his august majesty of the Cannibal Islands."

"I remember, man; but that part of the transaction does not give me the satisfaction that perhaps it ought. The concession."

"Still the same old prejudice against colour? but no matter. As--"

"What the devil is in the man! Are we never coming to the concession?

Where is this concession? Out with it, or, by my soul, I will lay my stick across your back."

Dogvane was between two stools; he feared to trifle with his master any longer, and he feared to make known the concession. Though no one could humbug the old Buccaneer like Dogvane, even he could not go too far, and he had now come to the length of his tether.

"Sir," said Dogvane, "we have gained a great diplomatic victory."

Directly the Buccaneer heard the nature of the triumph his face fell.

Dogvane came cautiously to the subject again. "With the aid of King Hokee I have settled your dispute without spilling one drop of Christian blood."

"Tell me, man, at once!" cried the Buccaneer, as he raised his stick above his head, "has the Eastern Bandit made honourable amends?"

"He has, sir," replied Dogvane. "He has indeed done all we can in reason expect. The Bandit, though a Christian, is a proud man; and it is not acting generously to humble any man too much."

"Master Dogvane, I too am a Christian, and I have my pride as well as the Eastern Bandit."

"You, sir, are the leader of the Christian world, and as such should set a good example. I did not say, my master, that pride was a Christian virtue, though far too many Christians wear it as their everyday dress.

Pride, indeed, is the worst of sins, and through it Satan himself fell.

My master is great and n.o.ble, and all powerful; he can therefore afford to be magnanimous. Bearing this in mind I made peace when you had been beaten three times in the open. Few other nations, and few other men, would have done this; certainly not the great Bandit of the East. Would your other watch have had the courage to do it?"

Thus did the cunning Dogvane run on, still evading the point of all interest. But his master's patience was now completely exhausted, and he brought his stick across the captain's back.

"Softly, master," cried Dogvane, as he winced under the blow, "my coat needs no dusting. The point is at hand. I have agreed, or arranged, or it may be that I have entered into a sacred covenant with the great Bandit of the East, that for certain considerations, hereafter to be settled and defined, you shall black his boots."

"Black his boots!" cried the Buccaneer in amazement, "and is this your concession, fellow?"

"Stay, stay, sir, not so fast," replied Dogvane. "Make haste is no doubt a very good horse, but hold hard is a better. We have not come to the concession yet. That stick is mighty hard. Stay, sir! I am coming to it.

It is this. In consideration for past favours, and to promote a good understanding between you both, the Eastern Bandit graciously condescends to find his own blacking."

"The devil he does," exclaimed the Buccaneer, as his eyes opened wide with astonishment. "What concession is there in that, pray?"

"A very great one, sir, considering the size of the Bandit's boots, it is little less than enormous. You might, sir, had it not been for diplomacy, have been obliged to provide your own blacking. To get the Bandit to concede this cost no end of trouble. One amba.s.sador was quite broken down, and several minor diplomatic officials have been rendered quite useless for the remainder of their lives. Their minds having quite given way, and they are left little better than babbling idiots, and every boot they see they persist in blacking."

The bold Buccaneer that once was, the great Sea King, the mighty trader, was struck for a few moments completely dumb. Indeed Dogvane's concession seemed to have benumbed his brain. His old c.o.xswain, who had kept a respectful silence during this long-winded palaver, now spoke, having first of all cleared his decks, as he called it. "Master Dogvane!" he cried, "the man who stoops to black a boot, will in all probability be kicked by it before the job is finished."

"Who asked you to put your spoke into the wheel?" Dogvane said in an under tone, and then added aloud: "I've been thinking, sir, that we might promote our honest friend here to some sinecure, where he will for the rest of his days have little work and plenty of pay. We have many such posts at our command, but strange to say, they are all full at present. The keeper of the Imperial Hat is a duke; the emolument is barely a thousand a year, but the honour is great and is much coveted.

Then there is the custodian of our master's night cap, that is held by one who has royal blood in his veins, and he cannot be sent home, or about his business."

Dogvane's list of high offices was brought to an abrupt conclusion by the sudden awakening of the Buccaneer, who seemed to be possessed with a spark of his old fire. His wrath burst upon Dogvane like an angry gust of wind. "Out of my sight," he cried, as he again raised his stick. Now the keeper of the Buccaneer's stick was another high official, who drew a goodly income for doing so. Dogvane, in his mind, determined that this officer should be at once replaced by one who took better care of his business. He thought, and perhaps rightly, that on such an occasion as the present, the stick should either have been mislaid or sent to be polished, or otherwise repaired. "Out of my sight!" cried the Buccaneer, as he brought his stick down heavily upon old Dogvane's back. "Begone thou veritable wind bag. Do you wish to thrust me down on my knees before all the world? It was not by eating humble pie, fellow, that I have grown to what I am. Get thee hence ere I break every bone in thy body; thou weigher of scruples, thou splitter of straws. Where now is all that money I gave thee over this affair with the Bandit?"

"Master! master!" cried Dogvane as he cowered beneath the anger of the old Sea King, and fell down on his knees before him. "Be not hard upon your servant. Have I not served you faithfully these many long years?

When I had charge of your till did you not make more money than ever you have since? Did not your pence grow into shillings, and your shillings into pounds? Have not my eyes grown dim, and my hair spa.r.s.e and grey, in your service? Then bear with me a little while."

The Buccaneer was slightly mollified. "Ah!" he said, "like many another old servant, you trade, Master Dogvane, upon the past, and think that your master will bear any amount of carelessness and bungling now for the sake of what has been done before. If in days gone by you made money for me, you have taken very good care to squander it since. But there must be a limit to the endurance even of the best of masters. Have you not dishonoured me in the eyes of my neighbours? Is your memory so short that you have forgotten their reception of me? Have you forgotten the scorn of some? the indifference of others? Have you forgotten the revilings of the Egyptian gipsy? Have you not estranged my friends from me and made me a must elephant of the herd, to wander out into the wilderness? Through you is not the charge laid against me that I have turned my back upon my enemies, and have you not so lowered me in the estimation of my neighbours, that the smallest dog amongst them barks at me?"

"Master--"

"Stay, fellow! I have not finished with you yet. While you prated about economy and peace you have run me deep into debt; while the wake of the old Ship of State, during the time you have been at the helm, has been constantly smeared with blood."

"Good master, the blood rests not upon my head, but upon that of the other watch. All the trouble that I have got into has been owing to the dreadful inheritance they left me."

"That, Master Dogvane, is too stale a cry to be readily believed. It is an old trick, and not altogether a reputable one, for one servant to try and saddle another with the fruits of his own stupidity, or carelessness. But where is that eleven millions I gave you for a certain purpose?"

"Good master, it is true that I have a little outrun the constable; but I have had to recompense Abdur for the damage done, and I have had to buy his friendship. Then the stupendous preparations I made were costly, and though there may not be very much to show for the money, yet no doubt a b.l.o.o.d.y war was averted, many lives saved, and in the long run, much money."

"A war averted, Master Dogvane, I have been told, is only a war postponed, and that when once put off it generally comes at a most inconvenient time, and is likely to prove most costly. To strike promptly and hard, experience has proved to be the better plan, and the cheapest both in men and money. Begone from my sight, fellow, for I begin to know thee. I may be slow to anger, but when once roused, those who displease me had better beware of me."

Thus it was that old Dogvane, the captain of the Starboard Watch, fell under his master's displeasure. As is always the case directly fortune begins to frown on a man, his enemies crop up by the scores in every direction, and all add a little to the victim's shortcomings, memories for which are long. It is a n.o.ble idea that of not kicking a man when he is down; but it seems to be honoured well in the breach. Once let a man trip and he is spared by few. It seems to be a law of nature to attack the wounded. The birds of the air do it and the beasts of the field, and the savage drives his spear into his wounded enemy. Civilisation uses other weapons than the steel-tipped ones; but they are none the less keen and effectual, for a wounded spirit often gets the sharp shaft of scorn sent clean through it. There is no mark of violence on the body, but there is a wound within that never heals.

Things went from bad to worse with old Dogvane until one day he and his watch were kicked, without ceremony, over the ship's side. What brought the final catastrophe about was that Dogvane very unwisely, or some of his hands, tried to tamper with the old Buccaneer's drink. Touch him on his stomach and you made an enemy of him at once. Chips no longer sang, and Billy Cheeks, the burly butcher, was more gloomy than ever. He was not a man of mirth. Even his jokes were heavy, but perhaps his trade affected his disposition; it often does. The cheery little cook never lost heart, and as they rowed ash.o.r.e he gave them a tune on his barrel organ, and gave them a song in which he ridiculed the prominent men of the other watch, and, as a matter of course, the members of the Buccaneer's Upper Chamber came in for their fair share of good-natured criticism or abuse. As has been said, no one saw a blemish in a neighbour sooner than the cook, and if that neighbour happened to be one of the lords temporal, Pepper prodded him well with jeer, jest, and sneer.

As Dogvane and his mess-mates rowed ash.o.r.e in disgrace, several heads appeared looking over the bulwarks of the after part of the old ship.

These were the occupants of the Upper Chamber, who crawled from their state room like rats from their holes, when the cat is away. The old Church Hulk seemed to awake as from a deep slumber, and presently a hymn of praise and of thanksgiving rose up and was borne upon the breeze all over the Buccaneer's island, and the hearts of all the great Church dignitaries and their many followers rejoiced that the Lord had for the time being saved them from the hands of the Philistines; or in other words from Pepper, and Billy Cheeks. All on board the old Church Hulk, and very many others amongst the Buccaneer's people, fully believed that if once the moorings of the old Hulk were slipped and she was allowed to drift away from the Ship of State, the days of the Buccaneer would be surely numbered. Respectability declared that she could never then go to church, for that she certainly could not listen to a priest, who, no matter however good a Christian he might be, was not a gentleman, for it must be known that all Christians of the various other denominations outside the old Church Hulk, were scarcely deemed to belong to that extremely rare and privileged cla.s.s.

CHAPTER x.x.xIX.

As the Starboard went ash.o.r.e the Port Watch came on board, all with their new brooms. There was the Captain, Bob Mainstay, by name, and his first Lieutenant, Ben Backstay, a good sailor and true. There was also a full compliment of other officers and men. Amongst the rest there was the cheery little midshipman, Random Jack, who was now on the eve of his promotion. It was wonderful how this little fellow had pushed himself to the front.

Wonders, it is known, never cease; but it was a strange sight to see the Port Watch rowed on board by Ojabberaway boatmen. When the weather-beaten old captain of the other watch saw this he smiled in a manner that was peculiar to him and said: "That won't last!" Then, as if speaking to himself, he added, "I wonder now, what was their price.

Humph! there is nothing that Bob Mainstay can either promise, or give, that I cannot go beyond. Unless indeed, he and his crew chuck overboard all their principles. Ah! there's the rub. Principles and politics don't always pull together, and politics often, being the stronger of the two, pulls principles round with a bang."

Now there was an animated discussion all along the hard and amongst the Press, as to whether or not the Port Watch had been rowed on board by the Ojabberaways. Many were prepared to swear that it was so; that there could be no mistake about the matter. Others declared it was one of those optical delusions which are for ever happening to surprise and mystify people. Those who see the supernatural in almost everything, declared that this was merely a deception brought about by the devil.

The Buccaneer's people were ready to believe almost anything just according to the party they belonged to, or the principles they professed. Indeed their credulity was so great in most things that the cunning rogue frequently reaped a rich harvest out of them. Astrologers were all dead, but the people, some of them, still dabbled in magic and believed in spiritualism.

Before the Port Watch left the sh.o.r.e they promised to do no end of things and their parting with the poor Beggar Woman, Patriotism, was most affecting. They said that so long as they had charge of the old Ship she should want for nothing. In fact everybody was to be made happy and like the ending of all good books, and works of fiction, virtue on all sides was to be rewarded. But the atmosphere of that old Ship clouded the best of memories. Besides, every one knows that promises are quite as c.u.mbersome baggage as a conscience, and all those who wish to get on in the world must unload themselves of the one, as readily as they do of the other.

Many of the crew of the Ship of State kept their consciences on board of the old Hulk alongside, where they were cleaned and repaired and sent for when wanted.

The daily press having had their usual battle, settled down to dictate to the watch in charge what they had to do and what they had not to do.

Indirectly it pretty well ruled the roost; told the captain what man he was to put here, and what man there; but Captain Mainstay filled up his different posts according to his own way of thinking, always bearing in view, of course, the Buccaneer's cherished custom. All this took some little time, for you cannot get things to fit on such principles all of a sudden. Accidents will happen, and chance will occasionally put a square man into a square hole and then he has with much difficulty to be pulled out and a round hole found for him.

New brooms invariably sweep clean and the Port Watch set themselves to work to clean up the mess left behind by old Dogvane and his lot. No one kicked up more dust than did the, at one time, little middy, who for his good behaviour was made steward of the household of the Buccaneer's Indian Princess. It was his duty to watch over her; to guard her against her enemies and especially to keep an eye upon the wicked Bandit of the East.

They all agreed for once, and declared that old Dogvane had left things in a terrible state of muddle, and they were unanimous in the belief that they had only stepped on board just in the nick of time to save the old Buccaneer from complete ruin; but this belief was also common to the other watch when they took charge. The cook's galley they said was in a shocking state and full of nothing but cheese parings; while he had scribbled all over the place, "the Upper Chamber must be destroyed." All people have their peculiarities, their whims and their fancies, and the clever little cook was not without his.

When the cook reached the sh.o.r.e, he went about with his barrel organ and sang songs about the iniquities of the other watch; of their indecent haste to get on board the old Ship and grab the emoluments attached to the several offices. The cook being placed in easy circ.u.mstances, by the profits he received from his barrel organ, could afford to be virtuously indignant.

Scarcely had the Port Watch settled down to their work than things went wrong with them. They did not in shaping their course make due allowance for the current of Public opinion, which at times set very strong, and the old Ship of State got into difficulties. Over the ship's side they went as quickly as they had climbed on board and the helm was again placed in the hands of that experienced old salt, William Dogvane, who was, however, requested by the Buccaneer to keep his weather eye open, for that if he caught him again napping it would be the worse for him.