The Letters of Horace Walpole, Earl of Orford Volume IV Part 18

(213) Mr. Raftor brother to Mrs. Clive.-E.

Letter 92 To The Hon. H. S. Conway.(214) Strawberry Hill, August 9, 1775. (page 137)

Well, I am going tout de bon, and I heartily wish I was returned.

It is a horrid exchange, the cleanness and verdure and tranquillity of 'Strawberry, for a beastly ship, worse inns, the pav'e of the roads bordered with eternal rows of maimed trees, and the racket of an h'otel garni! I never doat on the months of August and September, enlivened by nothing but Lady Greenwich's speaking-trumpet--but I do not want to be amused--at least never at the expense of being put in motion. Madame du Deffand, I am sure, may be satisfied with the sacrifice I make to her!(215)

You have heard, to be sure, of the war between your brother and Foote; but probably do not know how far the latter has carried his impudence. Being asked, why Lord Hertford had refused to license his piece, he replied, "Why, he asked me to make his youngest son a box-keeper, and because I would not, he stopped my play."(216) The d.u.c.h.ess of Kingston offered to buy it off, but Foote would not take her money, and swears he will act her in Lady Brumpton; which to be sure is very applicable.

I am sorry to hear Lord Villiers is going to drag my lady through all the vile inns in Germany. I think he might go alone.

George Onslow told me yesterday, that the American Congress had sent terms of accommodation, and that your brother told him so; but a strange fatality attends George's news, which is rarely canonical; and I doubt this intelligence is far from being so..

I shall know more to-morrow, when I go to town to prepare for my journey on Tuesday. Pray let me hear from you, enclosed to M.

Panchaud.

I accept with great joy Lady Ailesbury's offer Of coming hither in October, which will increase my joy in being at home again. I intend to set out on my return the 25th Of next month. Sir Gregory Page has left Lord Howe eight thousand pounds at present, and twelve more after his aunt Mrs. Page's death.

Thursday, 10th.

I cannot find any ground for believing that any proposals are come from the Congress. On the contrary, every thing looks as melancholy as possible. Adieu!

(214) Now first printed.

(215) In her letter of the 5th of August, Madame du Deffand, by way of inducement to Walpole to take the journey, says--"Je vous jure que je ne me soucierai de rien pour vous; c'est 'a dire, de vous faire faire une chose Plut'ot qu'une autre: vous serez totalement libre de toutes vos pens'ees, paroles, et actions, vous ne me verrez pas un souhait un d'esir qui Puisse contredire vos pens'ees et Vos volont'es: je saurai que M. Walpole est 'a Paris, il saura que je demeure 'a St. Joseph; il sera maitre d'y arriver, d'y rester, de s'en aller, comme il lui plaira."-E.

(216) The piece was ent.i.tled "The Trip to Calais;" in which the author having ridiculed, under the name of Kitty Crocodile, the eccentric d.u.c.h.ess of Kingston she offered him a sum of money to strike out the part. A correspondence took place between the parties, which ended in the d.u.c.h.ess making an application to Lord Hertford, at that time Lord Chamberlain, who interdicted the performance. Foote, however, brought it out, with some alterations, in the following year, under the t.i.tle of "The Capuchin."-E.

Letter 93 To The Countess Of Ailesbury.

>From t'other side of the water, August 17, 1775.(217) (page 138)

Interpreting your ladyship's orders in the most personal sense, as respecting the dangers of the sea, I -write the instant I am landed. I did not, in truth, set out till yesterday morning at eight o'clock; but finding the roads, horses, postilions, tides, winds, moons, and Captain Fectors in the pleasantest humour in the world, I embarked almost as soon as I arrived at Dover, and reached Calais before the sun was awake;-and here I am for the sixth time in my life, with only the trifling distance of seven-and-thirty years between my first voyage and the present.

Well! I can only say in excuse, that I am got into the land of Struldburgs, where one is never too old to be young, and where la b'equille du p'ere Barnabas blossoms like Aaron's rod, or the Glas...o...b..ry thorn. Now, to be sure, I shall be a little mortified, if your ladyship wanted a letter of news, and did not at all trouble your head about my navigation. However, you will not tell one so; and therefore I will persist in believing that this good news will be received with transport at Park-place, and that the bells of Henley will be set a ringing. The rest of my adventures, must be deferred till they have happened, which is not always the case of travels. I send you no Compliments from Paris, because I have not got thither, nor delivered the bundle which Mr. Conway sent me. I did, as Your ladyship commanded; buy three pretty little medallions in frames of filigraine, for our dear old friend. They will not ruin you, having cost not a guinea and a half; but it was all I could find that was genteel and portable; and as she does not measure by guineas, but attentions, she will be as much pleased as if you had sent her a dozen acres of Park-place. As they are in bas-relief, too, they are feelable, and that is a material circ.u.mstance to her. I wish the Diomede had even so much as a pair of Nankin!

Adieu, toute la ch'ere famille! I think of October with much satisfaction; it will double the pleasure of my return.

(217) Mr. Walpole reached Paris on the 19th of August and left it on the 19th of October.-E.

Letter 94 To The Countess Of Ailesbury.

Paris, August 20, 1775. (page 139)

I have been sea-sick to death: I have been poisoned by dirt and vermin; I have been stifled by beat, choked by dust, and starved for want of any thing I could touch: and yet, Madam, here, I am perfectly well, not in the least fatigued; and, thanks to the rivelled parchments, formerly faces, which I have seen by hundreds, I find myself almost as young as When I came hither first in the last century. In spite of my whims, and delicacy, and laziness, none of my grievances have been mortal: I have borne them as well as if I had set up for a philosopher, like the sages of this town. Indeed, I have found my dear old woman So well, and looking so much better than she did four years ago, that I am transported with pleasure, and thank your ladyship and Mr. Conway for driving me hither. Madame du Deffand came to me the instant I arrived, and sat by me whilst I stripped and dressed myself; for, as she said, since she cannot see there was no harm in my being stark.(218) She was charmed with your present; but was so Kind as to be so much more charmed with my arrival, that she did not think of it a moment. I sat with her till half an hour after two in the morning, and had a letter from her before MY eyes were open again. In short, her soul is immortal, and forces her body to bear it company.

This is the very eve of Madame Clotilde's(219) Wedding - but Monsieur Turgot, to the great grief of Lady Mary c.o.ke, will suffer no cost, but one banquet, one ball, and a play at Versailles. Count Viry gives a banquet, a bal masqu'e, and a firework. I think I shall see little but the last, from which I will send your ladyship a rocket in my next letter. Lady Mary, I believe, has had a private audience of the amba.s.sador's leg,(220) but en tout bien, et honneur, and only to satisfy her ceremonious curiosity about any part of royal nudity. I am just going to her, as she is to Versailles; and I have not time to add a word more to the vows of your ladyship's most faithful.

(218) Madame du Deffand had just completed her seventy-eighth year.-E.

(219) Madame Clotilde, sister of Louis XV1. Turgot was the new minister of finance, who, With his colleagues were endeavouring, by every practicable means, to reduce the enormous expenditure of the country.-E.

(220) Mr. Walpole alludes to the ceremony of the marriages of princesses by proxy.-E.

Letter 95 To Mrs. Abington(221) Paris, September [1775.] (page 140)

If I had known, Madam, of your being at Paris, before I heard it from Colonel Blaquiere, I should certainly have prevented your flattering invitation, and have offered you any services that could depend on my acquaintance here. It is plain I am old, and live with very old folks, when I did not hear of your arrival.

However, Madam, I have not that fault at least of a veteran, the thinking nothing equal to what they admired in their youth. I do impartial justice to your merit, and fairly allow it not only equal to that of any actress I have seen, but believe the present age will not be in the wrong, if they hereafter prefer it to those they may live to see. Your allowing me to wait on you in London, Madam, will make me some amends for the loss I have had here; and I shall take an early opportunity of a.s.suring you how much I am, Madam, your most obliged humble servant.

(221) Now first printed. This elegant and fashionable actress was born in 1735, quitted the stage in 1799, and died in 1815.-E.

Letter 96 To The Hon. H. S. Conway.

Paris, Sept 8, 1775. (page 140)

The delays of the post, and its departure before its arrival, saved me some days of anxiety for Lady Ailesbury, and prevented my telling you how concerned I am for her accident; though I trust, by this time, she has not even pain left. I feel the horror you must have felt during her suffering in the dark, and on the sight of her arm;(222) and though n.o.body admires her needlework more than I, still I am rejoiced that it will be the greatest sufferer. However, I am very impatient for a farther account. Madame du Deffand, who, you know, never loves her friends by halves, and whose impatience never allows itself time to inform itself, was out of her wits, because I could not explain exactly how the accident happened, and where. She wanted to write directly, though the post was just gone; and, as soon as I could make her easy about the accident, she fell into a new distress about her fans for Madame de Marchais, and concludes they have been overturned, and broken too. In short, I never saw any thing like her. She has made engagements for me till Monday se'nnight; in which are included I don't know how many journeys into the country; and as n.o.body ever leaves her without her engaging them for another time, all these parties will be so many polypuses, that will shoot out into new ones every way. Madame de Jonsac,(223) a great friend of mine, arrived the day before yesterday, and Madame du Deffand has pinned her down to meeting me at her house four times before next Tuesday, all parentheses, that are not to interfere with our other suppers; and from those suppers I never get to bed before two or three o'clock. In short, I need have the activity of a squirrel, and the strength of a Hercules, to go through my labours--not to count how many d'em'el'es I have had to raccommode, and how many m'emoires to present against Tonton,(224) who grows the greater favourite the more people he devours. As I am the only person who dare correct him, I have already insisted on his being confined in the Bastile every day to after five o'clock. T'other night he flew at Lady Barrymore's face, and I thought would have torn her eye out; but it ended in biting her finger. She was terrified: she fell into tears. Madame du Deffand, who has too much parts not to see every thing in its true light, perceiving that she had not beaten Tonton half enough, immediately told us a story of a lady, whose dog, having bitten a piece out of a gentleman's leg, the tender dame in a great fright, cried out, "Won't it make my dog sick?"

Lady Barrymore(225) has taken a house. She will be glutted with conquests: I never saw any body so much admired. I doubt her poor little head will be quite overset.

Madame de Marchais(226) is charming: eloquence and attention itself I cannot stir for peaches, nectarines, grapes, and bury pears. You would think Pomona was in love with me. I am not so transported with N * * * * c.o.c.k and hen. They are a tabor and pipe that I do not understand. He mouths and she squeaks and neither articulates. M. d'Entragues I have not seen. Upon the whole, I am much more pleased with Paris than ever I was; and, perhaps, shall stay a little longer than I intended. The Harry Grenville's(227) are arrived. I dined with them at Madame de Viry's,(228) who has completed the conquest of France by her behaviour on Madame Clotilde's wedding, and by the f'etes she gave. Of other English I wot not, but grieve the Richmonds do not come. I am charmed with Dr. Bally; nay, and with the King of Prussia--as much as I can be with a northern monarch. For your Kragen, I think we ought to procure a female one, and marry it to Ireland, that we may breed some new islands against we have lost America. I know nothing of said America. There is not a Frenchman that does not think us distracted.

I used to scold you about your bad writing, and perceive I have written in such a hurry, and blotted my letter so much, that you will not be able to read it: but consider how few moments I have to myself. I am forced to stuff my ears with cotton to get any sleep. However, my journey has done me good. I have thrown off at least fifteen years. Here is a letter for my dear Mrs. Damer from Madame de Cambis, who thinks she doats on you all. Adieu!

P. S. I shall bring you two 'eloges of Marshal Catinat; not because I admire them, but because I admire him, because I think him very like you.

(222) Lady Ailesbury had been overturned in her carriage at Park-place, and dislocated her wrist.

223) La Comtesse de Jonsac, sister of the President Henault.

(224) A favourite dog of Madame du Deffand's.

(225) Third daughter of William second Earl of Harrington, and wife of Richard sixth Earl of Barrymore, who, dying in 1780, left issue Richard and Henry, each of whom became, successively, Earl of Barrymore; a t.i.tle which expired upon the death of the latter, in 1823.-E.

(226) Madame de Marchais, n'ee Laborde, married to a valet-de-chambre of Louis XV1. From her intimacy with M.

d'Angivillier, Directeur des B'atiments, Jardins, etc. du Roi, She had the opportunity of obtaining the finest fruits and flowers.-E.

(227) Henry Grenville, brother to Earl Temple. He married Miss Margaret Banks. He died in 1784.-E.

(228) Miss Harriet Speed. She had married M. le Comte do Viry when he was minister at London from the Court of Turin. She is one of the ladies to whom Gray's "Long Story" is addressed. For an account of her, see Vol. iii. P. 160, letter 102.-E.

Letter 97 To The Hon. H. S. Conway.

Paris, Oct. 6, 1775. (page 142)