The Kellys and the O'Kellys Part 64

"Suppose he denies himself to us?" said Frank, as the four walked across the street together, to the great astonishment of the whole population.

"If he's in the house, I'll go bail we won't go away without seeing him," said the parson. "Will he be at home, Kelly, do you think?"

"Indeed he will, Mr Armstrong," said Martin; "he'll be in bed and asleep. He's never out of bed, I believe, much before one or two in the day. It's a bad life he's leading since the ould man died."

"You may say that," said the doctor:--"cursing and drinking; drinking and cursing; nothing else. You'll find him curse at you dreadful, Mr Armstrong, I'm afraid."

"I can bear that, doctor; it's part of my own trade, you know; but I think we'll find him quiet enough. I think you'll find the difficulty is to make him speak at all. You'd better be spokesman, my lord, as you're a magistrate."

"No, Armstrong, I will not. You're much more able, and more fitting: if it's necessary for me to act as a magistrate, I'll do so--but at first we'll leave him to you."

"Very well," said the parson; "and I'll do my best. But I'll tell you what I am afraid of: if we find him in bed we must wait for him, and when the servant tells him who we are, and mentions the doctor's name along with yours, my lord, he'll guess what we're come about, and he'll be out of the window, or into the cellar, and then there'd be no catching him without the police. We must make our way up into his bed-room."

"I don't think we could well do that," said the doctor.

"No, Armstrong," said Lord Ballindine. "I don't think we ought to force ourselves upstairs: we might as well tell all the servants what we'd come about."

"And so we must," said Armstrong, "if it's necessary. The more determined we are--in fact, the rougher we are with him, the more likely we are to bring him on his knees. I tell you, you must have no scruples in dealing with such a fellow; but leave him to me;" and so saying, the parson gave a thundering rap at the hail door, and in about one minute repeated it, which brought Biddy running to the door without shoes or stockings, with her hair streaming behind her head, and, in her hand, the comb with which she had been disentangling it.

"Is your master at home?" said Armstrong.

"Begorra, he is," said the girl out of breath. "That is, he's not up yet, nor awake, yer honer," and she held the door in her hand, as though this answer was final.

"But I want to see him on especial and immediate business," said the parson, pushing back the door and the girl together, and walking into the hall. "I must see him at once. Mr Lynch will excuse me: we've known each other a long time."

"Begorra, I don't know," said the girl, "only he's in bed and fast.

Couldn't yer honer call agin about four or five o'clock? That's the time the masther's most fittest to be talking to the likes of yer honer."

"These gentlemen could not wait," said the parson.

"Shure the docther there, and Mr Martin, knows well enough I'm not telling you a bit of a lie, Misther Armstrong," said the girl.

"I know you're not, my good girl; I know you're not telling a lie;--but, nevertheless, I must see Mr Lynch. Just step up and wake him, and tell him I'm waiting to say two words to him."

"Faix, yer honer, he's very bitther intirely, when he's waked this early. But in course I'll be led by yer honers. I'll say then, that the lord, and Parson Armstrong, and the docther, and Mr Martin, is waiting to spake two words to him. Is that it?"

"That'll do as well as anything," said Armstrong; and then, when the girl went upstairs, he continued, "You see she knew us all, and of course will tell him who we are; but I'll not let him escape, for I'll go up with her," and, as the girl slowly opened her master's bed-room door, Mr Armstrong stood close outside it in the pa.s.sage.

After considerable efforts, Biddy succeeded in awaking her master sufficiently to make him understand that Lord Ballindine, and Doctor Colligan were downstairs, and that Parson Armstrong was just outside the bed-room door. The poor girl tried hard to communicate her tidings in such a whisper as would be inaudible to the parson; but this was impossible, for Barry only swore at her, and asked her "what the d---- she meant by jabbering there in that manner?" When, however, he did comprehend who his visitors were, and where they were, he gnashed his teeth and clenched his fist at the poor girl, in sign of his anger against her for having admitted so unwelcome a party; but he was too frightened to speak.

Mr Armstrong soon put an end to this dumb show, by walking into the bed-room, when the girl escaped, and he shut the door. Barry sat up in his bed, rubbed his eyes, and stared at him, but he said nothing.

"Mr Lynch," said the parson, "I had better at once explain the circ.u.mstances which have induced me to make so very strange a visit."

"Confounded strange, I must say! to come up to a man's room in this way, and him in bed!"

"Doctor Colligan is downstairs--"

"D---- Doctor Colligan! He's at his lies again, I suppose? Much I care for Doctor Colligan."

"Doctor Colligan is downstairs," continued Mr Armstrong, "and Lord Ballindine, who, you are aware, is a magistrate. They wish to speak to you, Mr Lynch, and that at once."

"I suppose they can wait till a man's dressed?"

"That depends on how long you're dressing, Mr Lynch."

"Upon my word, this is cool enough, in a man's own house!" said Barry.

"Well, you don't expect me to get up while you're there, I suppose?"

"Indeed I do, Mr Lynch: never mind me; just wash and dress yourself as though I wasn't here. I'll wait here till we go down together."

"I'm d----d if I do," said Barry. "I'll not stir while you remain there!" and he threw himself back in the bed, and wrapped the bedclothes round him.

"Very well," said Mr Armstrong; and then going out on to the landing-place, called out over the banisters--"Doctor--Doctor Colligan!

tell his lordship Mr Lynch objects to a private interview: he had better just step down to the Court-house, and issue his warrant. You might as well tell Constable Nelligan to be in the way."

"D----n!" exclaimed Barry, sitting bolt upright in his bed. "Who says I object to see anybody? Mr Armstrong, what do you go and say that for?"

Mr Armstrong returned into the room. "It's not true. I only want to have my bed-room to myself, while I get up."

"For once in the way, Mr Lynch, you must manage to get up although your privacy be intruded on. To tell you the plain truth, I will not leave you till you come downstairs with me, unless it be in the custody of a policeman. If you will quietly dress and come downstairs with me, I trust we may be saved the necessity of troubling the police at all."

Barry, at last, gave way, and, gradually extricating himself from the bedclothes, put his feet down on the floor, and remained sitting on the side of his bed. He leaned his head down on his hands, and groaned inwardly; for he was very sick, and the fumes of last night's punch still disturbed his brain. His stockings and drawers were on; for Terry, when he put him to bed, considered it only waste of time to pull them off, for "shure wouldn't they have jist to go on agin the next morning?"

"Don't be particular, Mr Lynch: never mind washing or shaving till we're gone. We won't keep you long, I hope."

"You're very kind, I must say," said Barry. "I suppose you won't object to my having a bottle of soda water?"--and he gave a terrible tug at the bell.

"Not at all--nor a gla.s.s of brandy in it, if you like it. Indeed, Mr Lynch, I think that, just at present, it will be the better thing for you."

Barry got his bottle of soda water, and swallowed about two gla.s.ses of whiskey in it, for brandy was beginning to be scarce with him; and then commenced his toilet. He took Parson Armstrong's hint, and wasn't very particular about it. He huddled on his clothes, smoothed his hair with his brush, and muttering something about it's being their own fault, descended into the parlour, followed by Mr Armstrong. He made a kind of bow to Lord Ballindine; took no notice of Martin, but, turning round sharp on the doctor, said:

"Of all the false ruffians, I ever met, Colligan--by heavens, you're the worst! There's one comfort, no man in Dunmore will believe a word you say." He then threw himself back into the easy chair, and said, "Well, gentlemen--well, my lord--here I am. You can't say I'm ashamed to show my face, though I must say your visit is not made in the genteelest manner."

"Mr Lynch," said the parson, "do you remember the night Doctor Colligan knocked you down in this room? In this room, wasn't it, doctor?"

"Yes; in this room," said the doctor, rather _sotto voce_.

"Do you remember the circ.u.mstance, Mr Lynch?"

"It's a lie!" said Barry.

"No it's not," said the parson. "If you forget it, I can call in the servant to remember so much as that for me; but you'll find it better, Mr Lynch, to let us finish this business among ourselves. Come, think about it. I'm sure you remember being knocked down by the doctor."

"I remember a scrimmage there was between us. I don't care what the girl says, she didn't see it. Colligan, I suppose, has given her half-a-crown, and she'd swear anything for that."

"Well, you remember the night of the scrimmage?"

"I do: Colligan got drunk here one night. He wanted me to give him a farm, and said cursed queer things about my sister. I hardly know what he said; but I know I had to turn him out of the house, and there was a scrimmage between us."