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My chest is heaving for a whole other reason now. As much as I hate him, I want him still. He notices my reaction, and his eyes flare in response. He takes a step closer towards me so our bodies are practically touching. I take a couple steps back until my body hits the wall, and he advances forward again. With him this close, I have to tip my head back to keep my eyes on his face. He cages me in with his arms on either side of my head.
"What's going in that head of yours, Pix?" He murmurs. "Are you thinking the same things as me? Are you thinking about me picking you up and wrapping your gorgeous legs around me so you can grind that wet p.u.s.s.y against my c.o.c.k? Or, how about me flipping you around and pulling those tight a.s.s pants down and feasting on your p.u.s.s.y? Or are you just skipping all the foreplay and going straight to me sliding my d.i.c.k in your tight c.u.n.t?"
I lean my head back against the wall and close my eyes, trying to block out all the images conjuring in my head from his words. I feel his breath against my neck right before I feel the scruff of his five o'clock shadow.
"You're thinking all those things, aren't you? You want it all. You don't want to want it, but you want me to finally take you," he whispers in my ear.
It's the word 'finally' that brings me back to reality. It's such a simple word, but the meaning behind it is what causes my chest to hurt with unbearable pain. He should have already had me ten years ago. We should have had each other. He was the one to decide to throw it away to someone else, and in turn, someone else took mine.
I give a mighty push on his hard chest until he takes a step back. The only reason I am able to is because I surprised him.
I give him my best glare, hoping that he sees all the hate I have for him. "It's too late for that, Sheriff." I sneer the name. "You'll never have me. You made sure of that when you gave Tessa your virginity instead of me. On my birthday! And you know what?" I lean in closer and whisper, "I gave mine away that night as well."
After my spill, I turn to the side and go to sweep past him. A large hand grabs my wrist to stop me. He swings me back around and slams me against the wall, in the same spot I was in before.
"What the f.u.c.k? Who?" He growls in my face. The look in his eyes should scare me, but it doesn't.
"That's none of your business," I growl right back at him.
"G.o.dd.a.m.n it! Tell me who the f.u.c.k it was!" He bellows.
"No!"
"Who did you f.u.c.k, Mia? Who f.u.c.king took what was mine?" He booms.
A small sardonic smile creeps over my face. "I'm not telling you who, Mac, but I will tell you it felt sooo good," I purr the last part. I'm also lying through my teeth. That night felt anything but good.
At my words, Mac rears back like I sucker punched him. For a minute, I feel remorse at my words and the hurt look on his face that they caused. But then I remember the pain of that night and the remorse is swept away. He deserves to feel some of the pain that I felt.
"Okay, Mia. You want to play it that way. That's fine. I deserve that. But you're still going to listen to what I have to say," he says in a voice so calm it's almost scary.
I roll my eyes and brush past him. This time he lets me go. I say over my shoulder, "Whatever."
"This isn't over, Mia. You will listen." I hear him say.
I flip him off over my shoulder and keep walking.
Chapter Four.
MAC.
Her hair...
I'm standing around staring into the flames of one of the many fire barrels that are placed throughout the courthouse yard. It's getting late and the festival is finally starting the setting down. The tents are all taken down and the supplies are put away. The only thing that's left are a few coolers and the fire barrels, which will stay until morning.
As I stand there watching the flames, I go over in my head what Mia told me earlier. Obviously, I knew she was no longer a virgin, but I didn't know she gave away her innocence the same night as me. The guilt I carry from that night heightens. When she gave away her virginity, I know it was to just some random guy. Someone that wouldn't take the time to cherish her and her gift, the way she deserves. I know she was hurt and rebelling against that hurt.
f.u.c.k! The thought of another man touching her makes me want to punch the ever-lovin'-s.h.i.t out of something. I clench my hands at my sides. I may not have any right to her now, but I still consider her mine. That day on the pier when she kissed me, nodded her beautiful head to my question, and looked at me with such adoration, still stands. She's mine, but I can't have her. Or rather, she doesn't want me.
I glance over to my right when I hear a commotion. f.u.c.king Shady is at it again. He's one of the local bikers and one of the only ones in the community you have to watch your back for. Every other week he's causing some trouble one way or another, especially when he's drunk, which he is now.
Right now, he's sitting on a bench with a girl, Becca I think her name is, in his lap. A girl that obviously doesn't want to be there, if her struggles are anything to go by. I head in their direction, ready to take care of the situation, and hoping it doesn't get out of hand. I should have known better.
"Shady, let the girl go," I say to him calmly. No sense aggravating the beast if I can help it.
"f.u.c.k off, Weston. This ain't none of your business," Shady says while leering down at the frightened Becca in his lap.
Releasing a sigh, because I know it's about to get ugly, I take another step closer to him and the scared girl. She lifts her head and I see fear in her eyes. I clench my hands into fists to keep from knocking the s.h.i.t out of Shady. Several people have gathered around to witness the scene.
"I'll tell you one more time, Shady. Let the girl go."
My demand falls on deft ears as I watch him grab Becca's breast and squeeze. She lets off a pained filled whimper, and that's when I've had enough.
I step up to Shady, catching him off guard because his a.s.s is drunk, and s.n.a.t.c.h the girl from his lap. I immediately hand her off to Nitra, a woman that works in Maggie's Diner. The sudden movement causes him to teeter-totter for a minute, before he catches his balance. When he does, he jumps to his feet and sways again. Once his eyes focus on me, he emits a low growl and launches himself at me. Prepared for the move, I sidestep him and he stumbles past me.
Gaining his footing, he turns back towards me. "You took away my entertainment for tonight, Weston. Now I'm gonna kick your a.s.s."
"You might want to think about that, Shady. You're talking to the Sheriff here." I hear Nick say from beside me. I glance at him out the corner of my eye and see him casually leaning against a light post. Even though I won't need it, I know he has my back.
"I don't care who he is. All you boys think you can have any girls you want and leave Shady with nothin'. f.u.c.k you, f.u.c.k him, and f.u.c.k the rest of you." With that, he takes a step forward and swings his fist towards my face.
Ready for this to be over and done with, I lean to the left and catch his swing and bring his arm high and behind his back. He lets off a shout and starts struggling against me. I slam his a.s.s down face first on a nearby picnic table and reach behind me for the pair of cuffs I have in my back pocket and cuff his wrists.
Leaning down, I say in his ear, "You stupid f.u.c.k. You should have just let her go."
"Eat s.h.i.t, you b.a.s.t.a.r.d. She was asking for it," Shady grunts back at me.
I pull him up by his wrists, flip him around, and growl in his face, "Get a f.u.c.king clue. A woman doesn't ask for something she doesn't want. And she didn't want it!"
With that, I drag his sorry a.s.s across the courtyard and down to the station a couple blocks away, where he'll sleep off his drink in a cell. As soon as I slam the door, Shady slumps on the bed and falls promptly asleep.
I run my hands through my hair and sit at my desk. Opening the bottom drawer, I pull out a shot gla.s.s and the bottle of Jack I have in there when I need it. Glancing down, I see a worn out picture sitting at the bottom. Picking the picture up, I study it. You can tell it's been handled a lot because of the worn and frayed edges. In it is me carrying Mia piggy back style. We're both laughing. Surrounding us are Jaxon, Anna, Nick, and Kaylee. It was taken the year I graduated, which made Mia sixteen.
We were all over at Jaxon, Mia, and Anna's house for one of their mom's bar-b-ques. Mia looks so different in this picture. Her hair is long and luscious, and the only piercings she has is small hoop rings in each ear. Her body is flawless and devoid of any ink. The Mia then was sweet, innocent, and meek. The Mia now is fiery, outspoken, and wild. I loved the Mia back then, but the Mia now drives me insane with l.u.s.t. The colors on her smooth skin and the piercings adorning her body have me craving to see if she has them in forbidden places.
I take the photo and put it back in the drawer. Shooting back a couple of shots, I cap the bottle and put it away as well. I get to my feet and make my way to the little room that holds a simple military style cot. When I have someone in one of the cells, I sleep here, so they aren't left alone. The bed is short and lumpy, but it is what it is. It's not very often I have to use it.
Stripping down to my boxer briefs, I grab the cover at the end of the bed. I throw that over my waist once I'm settled. Ten minutes later, I fall asleep to the sounds of Shady's snoring in the next room.
The next afternoon, I'm in my gym in the bas.e.m.e.nt of my house. When I knew I wanted to update the house, I decided to put in a home gym as well. Jaded Hollow doesn't have a gym, instead you have to drive to the next nearest decent size town, which is forty-five minutes away. It's a pain in the a.s.s to travel that far, but I did it for years to keep in shape.
After I'm finished with my workout, I take a shower and get dressed. I head over to Maggie's Diner for some lunch. When I walk in, most of the booths are taken. I find an empty one in the back and settle in. I never look at the menu anymore, haven't had to in years. I've eaten here so much that I know everything that's on it.
A couple minutes later, a cute little blonde by the name of Karyn strolls over carrying her notepad and pen in one hand and a pot of coffee and a mug in the other.
After setting down the mug and pouring some coffee, she asks in a soft voice, "Hey, Mac, you want the usual?"
She's short and her blonde hair is cut into a bob. She's wearing a pair of tan capris and a black b.u.t.ton up shirt with flat white tennis shoes. Over that is a standard red ap.r.o.n that all the waitresses wear. She's only been in town a couple years, and the last I heard she and Ethan, another friend, were getting serious.
I offer her a smile. "Yes, please."
"Gotcha! Coming right up," she says and flounces away without writing anything in her notepad.
I watch her walk away before picking up my coffee. I take a swallow and place it back on the table at the same time the door jingles opens. Nick walks in and looks around a minute before spotting me, and starts in my direction.
I feel bad for the poor guy. After losing Anna, it took him a year before he would step a foot back in this place. It carried too many bad memories for him.
When he makes it to my table, he takes a seat across from me.
"Hey, man, what's up?" I ask him.
"Nothin'," his voice rumbles back at me. "Headed out on a job and decided to eat before I left."
"How long you gonna be gone for?"
"Don't know, but I hope a h.e.l.luva lot longer than last time."
I raise my eyebrows at his answer, "Bad week?"
He runs his hands through his hair, slightly pulling at the strands and mumbles. "You have no f.u.c.king clue."
Our conversation is interrupted when Karyn walks up with another mug and sets it down in front of Nick. She silently pours coffee in it and smiles at both Nick and me.
"Thanks, Karyn," Nick mutters.
"No problem, Nick. You want your usual as well?" She asks "Yeah, sure, whatever's fine," he says distractedly.
Again, she walks away without writing anything down. I look back to Nick.
"Where you headed this time?" I ask. Nick owns a construction company that has him going all over the place, overseeing the jobs. Sometimes he'll only be gone a few days, and other times it could be weeks.
He lets out a sigh before replying, "In b.u.m-f.u.c.ked-nowhere, Pennsylvania. Some spoiled a.s.s rich guy wants to build a resort up in the mountains somewhere. I have to go up there, meet the guy, and go over his designs and s.h.i.t. Then I have to monitor the initial set up and recruit guys for the job."
"Sounds like it'll bring in good money, though," I remark.
"Yeah, but I already know this job is going be a pain. The guy I'm dealing with seems like a real a.s.shole. I need to get out of here, but I'm not looking forward to working with this guy."
Just then, the door opens and in walks Mia, Bailey, and Chris. All three are laughing as they step through the door. I soak in the sound of Mia's laughter, not getting the chance to hear it often. All three girls look around for a place to sit. When Mia's eyes land on me, they lose their mirth and take on their usual glare reserved especially for me.
Mia looks to Bailey and Chris, and says something to them quietly. Bailey looks over to where Nick and I are sitting and gives me a look of pity. f.u.c.k. I hate that. Mia walks off to the other end of the diner as the other girls head in our direction. I glance down at my coffee until they're standing at our table.
I plaster on a fake smile and look up. "How are you ladies this morning?"
Bailey gives me a tender smile before replying, "We're good. How are you guys?"
"Tired. Didn't sleep well. Had to haul Shady in last night. Spent the night on the bunk." I watch as I see a look of disgust enter Bailey's face. She had a minor run in with Shady when she first arrived two years ago. Ever since, she can't stand the sound of his name.
"Where's Jaxon and Amari at this morning?" I ask her.
"They're both at home. He's watching her today while the girls and I go shopping!" she says happily.
I notice that neither Chris nor Nick say anything. I look to Chris and see her watching Nick with a soft expression. When I look to Nick, he has his head turned towards the window.
"Hi, Nick," Chris says quietly. He ignores her, as if he didn't hear her and continues to keep his gaze out the window. The only telltale sign that proves he did hear her is the tick in his jaw when she spoke.
This Nick is not the same one of two years ago. He would have never blatantly ignored a person like that, especially a female. He's being a d.i.c.k, and he's doing it on purpose.
I kick him under the table to tell him to knock it off. He whips his head around and scowls at me, which causes me to chuckle. After a few minutes of giving me the death stare, he lifts his head and aims his scowl at Chris instead.
"Chris," is the only answer he gives her. He looks over to Bailey, and his gaze softens a bit. "Hey, Bailey. How are you?"
"I'm wonderful. How are you doing?" Her eyes always look haunted when she looks at him. It's like she's worried that he's going to bite her head off at any moment. It's ridiculous to think that but guilt will do that to a person. Although, Lord knows there is nothing she should feel guilty about. I guess it's human nature for someone to feel guilt after what she and Anna went through.
"Just peachy." Nick says sarcastically. Bailey flinches at his tone, and I kick him under the table again.
This time he doesn't let me get away with it. He turns his head towards me again and pins me with a murderous look. "Kick me again a.s.shole, and I'm going to knock your teeth out for you."
"Stop being a d.i.c.k." I glare right back at him. Just because he's in pain doesn't give him the right to treat women like s.h.i.t, and he knows it.
He visibly takes a deep breath before closing his eyes and opening them again. He looks at Bailey with a remorseful look and says quietly, "I'm sorry, Bailey. Just ignore me, okay? I've got a lot on my plate right now."
She reaches over and squeezes his hand with a sad smile. "It's okay, Nick. I understand."
He nods and looks down to his coffee. He never looks back at Chris. When I turn to her, she has a defeated look on her face.
After a couple more minutes of idle chit chat, Bailey and Chris walk off to meet Mia on the other side of the diner. She keeps her eyes trained on them while they head towards her, never looking in my direction.
Letting out a sigh, I bring my gaze back to Nick and ask, "Why are you such an a.s.shole to Chris?"
"Because the b.i.t.c.h won't leave me alone. She says she wants to be my 'friend'." He says the last on a sneer. His answer surprises me, as he sounds so cold.
"And that's a problem because?" I ask.
"Because I don't need any more friends. I have enough people pitying me as it is. It's f.u.c.ked and I'm tired of it."
"Then stop f.u.c.king moping around like a lost puppy. And stop treating people like s.h.i.t. We only want to help you because we all care about you."
The saltshaker that Nick was holding on to suddenly flies across the table and smashes into the napkin holder. I sit still and look up at him, not surprised at his outburst. It's not the first one he's had and I'm sure it won't be the last.
He leans across the table at me and says harshly, "I don't f.u.c.king need any help. What I need is for people to leave me the f.u.c.k alone." He gets up out of the booth and storms towards the door, knocking over a couple of empty chairs that get in his way.