The Infernal Marriage Part 5

The Parcae shook their heads; even the Eumenides were silent.

'Then you are unable to carry on the King's government; for Orpheus must be disposed of; all agree to that. Pluto, reject these counsellors, at once insulting and incapable. Give me the distaff and the fatal shears.

At once form a new Cabinet; and let the release of Orpheus and Eurydice be the basis of their policy.' She threw her arms round his neck and whispered in his ear.

Pluto was perplexed; his confidence in the Parcae was shaken. A difficulty had occurred with which they could not cope. It was true the difficulty had been occasioned by a departure from their own exclusive and restrictive policy. It was clear that the gates of h.e.l.l ought never to have been opened to the stranger; but opened they had been. Forced to decide, he decided on the side of _expediency_, and signed a decree for the departure of Orpheus and Eurydice. The Parcas immediately resigned their posts, and the Furies walked off in a huff. Thus, on the third day of the Infernal Marriage, Pluto found that he had quarrelled with all his family, and that his ancient administration was broken up. The King was without a friend, and h.e.l.l was without a Government!

PART II.

_A Visit to Elysium_

LET us change the scene from Hades to Olympus.

A chariot drawn by dragons hovered over that superb palace whose sparkling steps of lapislazuli were once pressed by the daring foot of Ixion. It descended into the beautiful gardens, and Ceres, stepping out, sought the presence of Jove.

'Father of G.o.ds and men,' said the majestic mother of Proserpine, 'listen to a distracted parent! All my hopes were centred in my daughter, the daughter of whom you have deprived me. Is it for this that I endured the pangs of childbirth? Is it for this that I suckled her on this miserable bosom? Is it for this that I tended her girlish innocence, watched with vigilant fondness the development of her youthful mind, and cultured with a thousand graces and accomplishments her gifted and unrivalled promise? to lose her for ever!'

'Beloved Bona Dea,' replied Jove, 'calm yourself!'

'Jupiter, you forget that I am a mother.'

'It is the recollection of that happy circ.u.mstance that alone should make you satisfied.'

'Do you mock me? Where is my daughter?'

'In the very situation you should desire. In her destiny all is fulfilled which the most affectionate mother could hope. What was the object of all your care and all her accomplishments? a good parti; and she has found one.'

'To reign in h.e.l.l!'

'"Better to reign in h.e.l.l than serve in Heaven." What! would you have had her a cup-bearer, like Hebe, or a messenger, like Hermes? Was the daughter of Jove and Ceres to be destined to a mere place in our household! Lady! she is the object of envy to half the G.o.ddesses. Bating our own bed, which she could not share, what lot more distinguished than hers? Recollect that G.o.ddesses, who desire a becoming match, have a very limited circle to elect from. Even Venus was obliged to put up with Vulcan. It will not do to be too nice. Thank your stars that she is not an old maid like Minerva.'

'But Mars? he loved her.'

'A young officer only with his half-pay, however good his connections, is surely not a proper mate for our daughter.'

'Apollo?'

'I have no opinion of a literary son-in-law. These scribblers are at present the fashion, and are very well to ask to dinner; but I confess a more intimate connection with them is not at all to my taste.'

'I meet Apollo everywhere.'

'The truth is, he is courted because every one is afraid of him. He is the editor of a daily journal, and under the pretence of throwing light upon every subject, brings a great many disagreeable things into notice, which is excessively inconvenient. n.o.body likes to be paragraphed; and for my part I should only be too happy to extinguish the Sun and every other newspaper were it only in my power.'

'But Pluto is so old, and so ugly, and, all agree, so ill-tempered.'

'He has a splendid income, a magnificent estate; his settlements are worthy of his means. This ought to satisfy a mother; and his political influence is necessary to me, and this satisfies a father.'

'But the heart-----'

'As for that, she fancies she loves him; and whether she do or not, these feelings, we know, never last. Rest a.s.sured, my dear Ceres, that our girl has made a brilliant match, in spite of the gloomy atmosphere in which she has to reside.'

'It must end in misery. I know Proserpine. I confess it with tears, she is a spoiled child.'

'This may occasion Pluto many uneasy moments; but that is nothing to you or me. Between ourselves, I shall not be at all surprised if she plague his life out.'

'But how can she consort with the Fates? How is it possible for her to a.s.sociate with the Furies? She, who is used to the gayest and most amiable society in the world? Indeed, indeed, 'tis an ill-a.s.sorted union!'

'They are united, however; and, take my word for it, my dear madam, that you had better leave Pluto alone. The interference of a mother-in-law is proverbially never very felicitous.'

In the meantime affairs went on swimmingly in Tartarus. The obstinate Fates and the sulky Furies were unwittingly the cause of universal satisfaction. Everyone enjoyed himself, and enjoyment when it is unexpected is doubly satisfactory. Tantalus, Sisyphus, and Ixion, for the first time during their punishment, had an opportunity for a little conversation.

'Long live our reforming Queen,' said the ex-king of Lydia. 'You cannot conceive, my dear companions, anything more delightful than this long-coveted draught of cold water; its flavour far surpa.s.ses the memory of my choicest wines. And as for this delicious fruit, one must live in a hot climate, like our present one, sufficiently to appreciate its refreshing gust. I would, my dear friends, you could only share my banquet.'

'Your Majesty is very kind,' replied Sisyphus, 'but it seems to me that nothing in the world will ever induce me again to move. One must have toiled for ages to comprehend the rapturous sense of repose that now pervades my exhausted frame. Is it possible that that d.a.m.ned stone can really have disappeared?'

'You say truly,' said Ixion, 'the couches of Olympus cannot compare with this resting wheel.'

'n.o.ble Sisyphus,' rejoined Tantalus, 'we are both of us acquainted with the cause of our companion's presence in those infernal regions, since his daring exploit has had the good fortune of being celebrated by one of the fashionable authors of this part of the world.'

'I have never had time to read his work,' interrupted Ixion. 'What sort of a fellow is he?'

'One of the most conceited dogs that I ever met with,' replied the King.

'He thinks he is a great genius, and perhaps he has some little talent for the extravagant.'

'Are there any critics in h.e.l.l?'

'Myriads. They abound about the marshes of Cocytus, where they croak furiously. They are all to a man against our author.'

'That speaks more to his credit than his own self-opinion,' rejoined Ixion.

'_A nous moutons!_' exclaimed Tantalus; 'I was about to observe that I am curious to learn for what reason our friend Sisyphus was doomed to his late terrible exertions.'

'For the simplest in the world,' replied the object of the inquiry; 'because I was not a hypocrite. No one ever led a pleasanter life than myself, and no one was more popular in society. I was considered, as they phrased it, the most long-headed prince of my time, and was in truth a finished man of the world. I had not an acquaintance whom I had not taken in, and G.o.ds and men alike favoured me. In an unlucky moment, however, I offended the infernal deities, and it was then suddenly discovered that I was the most abandoned character of my age. You know the rest.'

'You seem,' exclaimed Tantalus, 'to be relating my own history; for I myself led a reckless career with impunity, until some of the G.o.ds did me the honour of dining with me, and were dissatisfied with the repast.

I am convinced myself that, provided a man frequent the temples, and observe with strictness the sacred festivals, such is the force of public opinion, that there is no crime which he may not commit without hazard.'

'Long live hypocrisy!' exclaimed Ixion. 'It is not my forte. But if I began life anew, I would be more observant in my sacrifices.'

'Who could have antic.i.p.ated this wonderful revolution!' exclaimed Sisyphus, stretching himself. 'I wonder what will occur next! Perhaps we shall be all released.'

'You say truly,' said Ixion. 'I am grateful to our reforming Queen; but I have no idea of stopping here. This cursed wheel indeed no longer whirls; but I confess my expectations will be much disappointed if I cannot free myself from these adamantine bonds that fix me to its...o...b..'

'And one cannot drink water for ever,' said Tantalus.

'D--n all half measures,' said Ixion. 'We must proceed in this system of amelioration.'