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I let out a sigh the same time as I opened my eyes from my sleep.
“If only it were all a dream...” I muttered to myself staring at the ceiling, but wishing alone doesn't turn reality into a dream. Looking at the books lying about on the desk with mixed feelings, I got out of bed. They were the 'things I studied over the past three months' that I held onto and wrestled with all day long yesterday... Since today’s Monday, I have to get ready for school. Last Sat.u.r.day night, I found out that I had completely lost my memories during these last few months. And to regain my lost memories—especially those from studying—it was decided that I would spend some time together with the three girls for a while. But I needed a day to sort myself out and let my hospitalised body rest. So yesterday—that's Sunday—I spent the whole day alone inside my room. I was looking over the stuff I should have had learned during those months, however... The English words that were checked off to show that they had been completely memorised were new to me, and I had no idea how to solve the mathematical problems that only had the answers neatly written on the pages. I hoped that my memories would return to me by looking at the stuff I'd learned for the past three months, but it was of no use. It seemed that my brain recognised those things not as past memories, but new materials ready to study. “Haah...” After I went to the lavatory with mixed emotions, I changed into my school uniform and, holding my bag, headed towards the kitchen. “Did you sleep well, Oppa?” The one who greeted me in the kitchen was Yeon-hee, preparing breakfast dressed in her ever-flawless school uniform. The image of her in the white ap.r.o.n was adorable—much like a child playing house—and lovely at the same time, like a bride in her newlywed life. “Thank you for breakfast.” “Go ahead and dig in.” Sitting across from each other at the table, we started eating our breakfast. Because breakfast is the only time, except for the weekends, that us busy high school students are able to sit at the table together, we had decided not to skip it and eat together in the mornings. Cooked rice mixed with brown rice; bite-sized, homemade hamburger; cleanly cut rolled eggs; braised, crunchy cuc.u.mber slices; and braised burdock that is neither too sweet nor too salty. Frankly speaking, there would no problem if I were to give her hand away in marriage right now with her level of skills attained already. I won’t give her hand away in marriage just yet, though. “Ugh...” “What's wrong? Is there grit in the rice?” Seeing my face suddenly stiffening, Yeon-hee gave me a quizzical look. 'I... I forgot all about it...' I'd forgotten about it because I was having breakfast as usual. I can't remember anything, but Yeon-hee said that we had crossed the line in our relationship as siblings... Yes, it would've been okay if things were just as normal, but it's now dangerous to have thoughts like 'I won’t give her hand away in marriage just yet’. It makes it feel as though I'm being possessive of her because she's my girl. “...No, it's nothing.” “You're being strange, Oppa.” My heart felt heavy all of a sudden. I don't know how I should treat Yeon-hee from now on. She didn't really do anything to me yesterday—perhaps because she was being considerate about my physical and mental exhaustion—but how should I react if Yeon-hee starts behaving like that time last Sat.u.r.day when she pounced on me? “Huuu... I'm off to school.” I bid farewell to Yeon-hee, who had started cleaning up after finishing her meal, and got up from my seat. Although Yeon-hee's high school is farther than the one I go to, I have to leave earlier since she takes the bus to hers and I walk to mine. I took the prepared lunch and went to the front door. “Oppa, wait.” As I was putting on my shoes, Yeon-hee came up to me in short and quick steps. “Geez, it's all stiff and erect.” Yeon-hee stood on her tiptoes and stretched her hand towards my head. It seems my hair was sticking up at the back. “I'll take care of it for you, so stand still.” Yeon-hee turned me around and dampened my hair with the water spray bottle for the plants on the shoe shelf. “Ah, really, why are you so stiff like this, Oppa? It's really hard to make it go down when it's erect.” “What can I do? It's a part of waking up in the morning. Just leave it be.” My hair is naturally quite stiff anyway. “No. As your younger sister, I can't let you be in this state even for a fraction of a second.” Yeon-hee muttered, pressing down firmly with her hand. Knowing her meticulous personality, she probably wants to do it properly using the hairdryer. But she's making do like this since she knows I'll be gone if she goes away to fetch the hairdryer. “Mm... Ahnn... Haah...” Standing on her tiptoes, Yeon-hee moaned as though she was having trouble. After some time, she stood back down on her heels. “Okay, that’s you.” “I appreciate it, Yeon-hee. I can go to school fresh and clean now thanks to you.” “Really Oppa, what would you do without me? Have a safe trip to school.” After finishing our amiable conversation between siblings, I opened the door and stepped outside the corridor. As I was about to head towards the elevator after closing the door tight, I heard an urgent voice: “W-Wait...!” “......” “Don't ignore me!” I was striding down the corridor when someone s.n.a.t.c.hed my arm. “....And why are you here?” The one who took hold of my arm was a girl in our school uniform— Yu Yuyu. “I told you two days ago! When you're heading to school, we're walking together!” “You didn't say anything as far as showing up at my front door, though...” But Yu Yuyu had a weird look on her face. Her face was coloured red, and she looked like she was very angry and fl.u.s.tered. I felt it also when I saw her last time, but she seems like a girl who's easy to blush. “Gla.s.ses, wh-what are you making your younger sister do...?!” I had pressed the elevator b.u.t.ton and was waiting when Yu Yuyu shouted at me in an accusative tone. What's with her? “Y-You made your younger sister... Take care of that thing that is stiff and erect in the morning! Just as I thought... You have that kind of relationship with your—” “...?” Huh? It seems like she overhead our conversation from the other side of the front door when Yeon-hee was fixing my hair... But why is she so worked up over that? “Is that a problem?” “Wh-What?! Of course it’s a problem! How could you make your younger sister do something like that?!” Come to think of it... Don't they say that girls prefers boys who are tidy? Perhaps she's angry with me because I can't even fix my own hair without help from my little sister... Since she's claiming that I'm her boyfriend, she wouldn't be too happy to discover that her boyfriend is such a sloppy person. “You're right, I should have done it myself...” “Y-Yourself?! No, that's also kind of...” Yu Yuyu's fl.u.s.tered look disappeared and she subsequently lowered her head with a gloomy expression. “Haah... I wondered if it was true, but you really do have that kind of relationship with your younger sister... This is shocking... What should I do...?” “What?” “I-It's nothing... Say... I'm just asking you this out of curiosity, but...” With her face turning red again, Yu Yuyu raised her eyes towards me. “She... She does it with her m-mouth, right?” Mouth? Well, yes, she does use her saliva sometimes. “That was just when we were in elementary school.” “E-Elementary school?! She's been doing it for that long?! It isn’t just a recent thing?!” “Now she just uses her hands.” “Ah, j-just her hands... Right, I heard it's done a lot with the hands as well...” “Yeon-hee likes doing it with a hair dryer, though.” “A hair dryer?! You can do it with a hair dryer?! Isn't it hot?” “Well, it's hot at times, but... It feels nice, too.” “B-Boys sure are amazing...” But why is she asking me these questions? Is it that surprising because they don't get bed hair due to theirs being so long? “Then again, it might stand up again today at school since she didn't do it with the hair dryer.” “A-At school?! It gets like that if you don't do it with a hair dryer?!” “Well, I'm sure it'll settle down if I sort myself out in the washroom.” “W-Washroom... Do boys usually do that sort thing in the washroom?” “It varies from person to person... But there's quite a few guys who fiddle about with it in the washroom every recess.” “Every recess?! That often?!” During every break, several guys who pay attention to their appearance fix their hair looking at the mirror. “B-But I wish you wouldn't do that... Doing that sort of thing by yourself in the washroom...” What is she talking about? “Then why don't you do it for me for good? Didn't you say that you were my girlfriend?” “Ehh?! You're asking me to do it?!” Although I said it as a joke out of frustration, she was unexpectedly taken aback. “R-Right, I'm your girlfriend... And we've already went all the way... If I want to keep up with the other two girls, I should...” Looking firmly determined, she raised her head. “Th-Then call me when it happens to you next. I'll come to the washroom with you, secretly...” “What? Are you suggesting that we do it in front of other guys?” That's a bit embarra.s.sing. “Eh? We're not doing it in a vacant toilet?! Is it normally done in front of other people?!” “You can't see the mirror if you go inside.” “We're doing it with other people in front of the mirror?!” At that moment, the elevator that was stopped on the lower floor for some time arrived. I got on the elevator along with Yu Yuyu, who had a tangled expression on her face for some reason, and pressed the first floor b.u.t.ton. Although Yu Yuyu was quiet with her head lowered for a while, she suddenly pulled on my sleeve moments later. As I turned my head to see why, Yu Yuyu said to me looking up with a pink flush on her face: “I-I'll do it for you when we're alone together. If it's at a secluded place, I'll do my best even though I'm not too confident...” “No, you don't need to be worried about it that much...” Oddly, it seems that I've put pressure on her. “I'll just ask Sega to do it for me, so don't worry about it.” “Sega...?” “He's the guy who sits behind me in cla.s.s.” “You're going to make him to do it?!” For some inexplicable reason, Yu Yuyu's face had the most surprised expression I had ever seen until now. “No, he has never actually done it for me before, but...” I shrugged and said: “I have done it for him once.” “Ahhhhhhh!!” Yu Yuyu grabbed her head all of a sudden and dropped down on the ground and burst out crying. ...Did I do something wrong? My seat in the cla.s.sroom is the second seat from the back in the row closest to the hallway. As I opened the back door and stepped inside the cla.s.sroom, I was greeted by the boy sitting at the very back seat. “Good morning, Ahn Kyeong-hyun.” “Hey, Shin Sega.” The one who greeted me in his low, magisterial voice was Shin Sega, who had been my cla.s.smate the previous year as well. He's a tall, handsome fellow with masculine looks. His serene, ascendant eyes are as mature as to not seem like those of a teenager. As for his actual personality, he's calm and well-mannered. Good at studying, he placed twelfth in the whole school on the last exam. Furthermore, unlike me, he's athletic, and he's been appointed cla.s.s president every year for his leadership skills. Apparently, he was the president of the student council when he was in middle school. Not only that, I also heard he's from an affluent family. In terms of his specs, he's the best among the guys I know. Although he should be popular with the girls, I've never heard of him having a girlfriend before. “Hm.” “...Why are you staring at me like that?” Sensing Sega's eyes staring at my back as I put my bag on the desk, I stopped moving. Then, with a serious expression on his face, Sega replied: “Rebellious eyes visible beneath the horn-rimmed gla.s.ses, slightly shut pink lips, smooth line leading down from the clean-shaven chin to the slender neck, defined slim waist, and svelte yet resilient b.u.t.tocks...” “......” “You're charming today as well, Ahn Kyeong-hyun.” “Please, could you stop acting like that so early on in the morning...?” I sighed, looking at Sega smiling contentedly and nodding his head. This is the reason why Sega doesn't have a girlfriend. Although he's a guy whose looks, personality and ability make it impossible for him to be unpopular with the girls, most of them don't approach him because of this “gay-like” att.i.tude. Of course, Sega has never hit on me for real. He's probably doing it only in jest as a concept. I'd have kept my distance if he really was being like this expecting something h.o.m.os.e.xual to happen. Nevertheless, appearances aside, you could say that Sega is almost the only person whom I regard as a precious friend of mine; even if he plays these kind of jokes on me, I have no reason to get serious. “Sorry, I couldn’t hold back without expressing in words… They sure are bouncy.” Sega muttered to himself, copping a feel of my b.u.t.tocks as I was about to sit. “……” “Is there something wrong?” As I stared at him, stopped halfway sitting down on my seat, Sega made a quizzical expression. “No, it’s nothing. I just thought you looked handsome today as well. “Fufu. Right back at you, Prince Charming.” Actually, it isn’t just Sega who acts in such way! Although I could hear the sound of people talking in whispers around me, making comments like ‘as expected of a h.o.m.o couple…’ and ‘Prez is uke, Gla.s.ses is seme…” I paid no heed and sat down in my seat. “Whew…” There’s no other reason as to why I was staring at Sega: It was because I was hesitant in telling him that I’d lost my memory. ‘Things would be easy if Sega lent me his a.s.sistance.” I have no intention of advertising my amnesia to the whole world. It’d only get unnecessarily busy if I were to receive any more attention. I can’t stand being distracted. But without my memories from the previous three months, I might cause trouble due to any relationship and the likes that I do not know about. If I tell Sega, he could help prevent those sorts of problems. He wouldn’t spread rumours about it, either. However, I’d have to disclose my current state if I were to tell Sega… That is, because I may have three-timed with these three girls, I’m in a situation where I now have to divide my time and act as loves with those three girls. I don’t wish to tell this kind of story to a guy like Sega who leads an honest life. What should I do…? I turned my head with that thought. My eyes looked at the middle seat by the windows. I could see Yu Yuyu reading her reference book with her body cowered forward and a stiff expression on her face. Yu Yuyu and I had left the apartment together, but we came into the cla.s.sroom separately. That’s because Yu Yuyu walked away from me halfway here. The reason was that it would be embarra.s.sing if other students were to see her walking to school with me, her boyfriend. Apparently, because Yu Yuyu is hiding the fact that we’re dating from the others in the first place, we had hardly ever arrived to school together. It’s understandable. Even from my perspective, I wouldn’t particularly want others to know that I’m in a romantic relationship. Moreover, Yu Yuyu and I are the top two students at our school; if we announce that we’re together, there’s bound to be those who would speak ill of us. But because of that, the situation has become more complicated: if Yu Yuyu had behaved as my girlfriend in front of other people in the first place, she would’ve been able to easily prove that she’s my girlfriend. However, now there’s n.o.body who recognises her as my girlfriend. For those reasons, I’m starting to have suspicions that Yu Yuyu might be straight-out lying. “Stand straight, bow.” While I was thinking those thoughts, the homeroom teacher entered the cla.s.sroom started to take roll call. A teacher in charge of mathematics, Kim Mu-hyeok was a tall and skinny man. Bespectacled with an impression of being fastidious, his actual personality was more fastidious even beyond his appearance. I’ve never seen our homeroom teacher crack a joke. Most of the students dislike him because his lessons are rigorous and he hands out tonnes of difficult homework exercises. It’s all good for me, though; the more stuff to study the better. “As you probably know already, there is a National Achievement Test this Friday.” After the roll call, he started to talk in his stern voice about the mock examination that was to take place on Friday. “You took it before in your first year as well, so you should all have an idea of what it is. However, it will have a more significant meaning this time to you second years.” For nearly ten minutes, the homeroom teacher dragged on about why we should pay attention to this mock examination. Although it was an important subject in its own way, since it wasn’t anything particularly new, there weren’t many students who were listening attentively. “Especially for those in the top percentile, this academic a.s.sessment is fairly accurate. You could say that the rank from here directly represents your ranking as a student in this country.…… Ahn Kyeong-hyun.” Suddenly hearing my name being called, I lifted my head. “You placed third in the nationals last year, correct?” I nodded my head with a hazy expression. “Aim for first place this time. As for the rest of you, try not to disturb him and his studies.” After saying that, the homeroom teacher took the register and left the cla.s.sroom. With the tension gone, the sound of whispers began to rise here and there in the cla.s.sroom, and I sat there feeling uncomfortable in the midst of it. Although this is honestly a situation where my cla.s.smates would stare at me with hatred because everybody knew the homeroom teacher was usually like that, there was almost n.o.body staring daggers at me. “You came in third last year?” “I was a little lucky that time. The ones I guessed turned out to be right…” Uncomfortably, I replied to Sega’s voice coming from the back. Aiming for the first place in a national mock exam with hundreds of thousands of examinees is on an entirely different level than aiming for the first place in a school where there are several hundred students at the most. There are people in this world who can completely memorise the contents of a book with a single skim, and those who can instantly solve advanced mathematical questions with the sheer power of mental calculation, but I’m not that sort of a genius. I’m merely maintaining my current grades because I’ve always kept on studying, and there are sure to be many countless people in the country who have done the same. To take the first place among them is a task that is not possible with pure skill alone. Yet he tells me to aim for the first place in the nationals. Even if he said it to spur me on, it’s an order way too tall to fill. “But it’s a bit unfair how he’s only talking about you, though. There are two top students in this cla.s.s, not just one.” At those words, I turned my head and looked at the window side. The girl who has always maintained second place in the whole school all the time was silently reading her reference book with her lips held tight. As the biology teacher stepped out of the cla.s.sroom with the sounding of the school bell, the cla.s.sroom became rowdy. There were students moving their desks to eat with their friends as well as those leaving the cla.s.sroom to eat outside. After taking out the lunch Yeon-hee had packed from my bag, I turned my chair around. I’ve been eating my lunch with Sega since the first year. “……” But there was something strange about the way Sega was looking at me. “What’s wrong?” I stopped my hands that were about to unwrap my lunchbox and looked at him. “Well…” As though he was troubled as to what to say, he stared intently at me. It was at that moment. “Ahem!” The sound of a cough that anybody could tell was intentional. I lifted my head and looked over Sega’s head. Standing unnaturally on the sill of the back door, Yu Yuyu was glaring his way with a stiff expression on her face. “Ah…!” Now I come to think of it, I recall Yu Yuyu saying how she and I ate lunch together…! “Colour me surprised: you’ve been eating outside quite a lot lately, so I wondered what was the matter.” Sega said to me in a relived voice. Seeing Yu Yuyu exiting the cla.s.sroom, I hastily stood up. “S-Sorry. Then I’ll be off.” Although Sega will probably eat his lunch with some other guys, the notion of leaving behind Sega who I’ve always ate with in my memories, didn’t sit too well with me. “Don’t worry about it. I respect that you want to eat while you’re studying alone even during lunchtime.” Is that the excuse I’ve been telling him...? I mean, that makes it seem like I’m some kind of a nutcase obsessed with studying… I’m not that bad. “Good luck with your studies.” “Thanks, and enjoy your lunch.” After the awkward farewell, I left the cla.s.sroom. Chasing after Yu Yuyu visible in the distance, I walked along the hallway and headed up the stairs. The place Yu Yuyu was headed for was the local history study room situated on the top floor of the school. It was here that artifacts from the nearby areas were displayed for the students to view freely. I had once taken a look around when I was first admitted into the school. But perhaps because there aren’t many students who come here often to see the exhibit, there was no sign of other people. Yu Yuyu strode inside the room, and then opened the iron door in the corner. “This place is…” “I told you it’s the Audiovisual Reference Prep Room.” Yu Yuyu opened her mouth for the first time and let out a curt voice. Inside, the place was tidy and much smaller than my room. It was devoid of any other objects with the exception of two desks facing one another in the centre. “This is a storage room where they stored videotapes used for audiovisual references in the old days. But since everything’s done with a computer nowadays, they became unnecessary and were all disposed of, and now it sits empty.” “So there was a place like this…” For a storage room that was not in use, it was free of dust and musty smell. The southward window was small, but it let in plenty of sunlight, and the atmosphere wasn’t bad. “Is it okay to just go in?” “Why? It’s not like it’s locked... Come in.” Yu Yuyu said stiffly. I followed her into the room and closed the door. The place was quiet, maybe because there was n.o.body around. I could somewhat hear the sound from the schoolyard. “Huu…” I saw Yu Yuyu drooping her shoulders as she set down the large lunch bag. “What’s the matter?” “H-Huh? What do you mean?” “No, it’s just that… You seem a little bit nervous.” “S-So what if I’m nervous…? N-No! I’m not nervous!” Yu Yuyu shouted with her face flush. “And you... I told you that we eat lunch together! Why were you trying to eat with Shin Sega?!” “S-Sorry, it slipped my mind…” “Other cla.s.smates might have noticed! Uuu... I was so careful to ensure that I didn’t get caught having lunch with you...” I don’t know why she’s worried to such extent, but it looked like it was causing a serious problem for Yu Yuyu. “…Forget it. Let’s just eat our lunch.” Sighing, Yu Yuyu took out a lunchbox and a small thermos from the lunch bag, and placed them on the desk. I was surprised to see how small the lunchbox was in comparison to the size of the lunch bag. At any rate, I knew I had to eat lunch with this girl. I quietly unwrapped my lunchbox and sat down. “……” I furtively checked Yu Yuyu’s lunch: white rice with pork cutlets, braised slices of lotus root, braised fish cake, and pickled radish… I’m sorry to say this to Yu Yuyu’s mother, but the lunch Yeon-hee made is on an entirely different level. That’s just like my little sister. “…You’re not thinking something weird, are you?” Yu Yuyu looked at me with suspicious eyes. After giving a vague answer, I started eating. Sitting across from each other, we began to eat our respective lunches as we were. “……” “……” …This is awkward! I’m not the type who chats whilst eating, but it was a bit uncomfortable to just eat in silence with someone in front of me who I can’t tell of how close I am to her. Yu Yuyu still had a stiff expression on her face— I don’t think she’ll make the first move any time soon, so inevitably, I opened my mouth first. “Yu Yuyu.” “Don’t call me that!” Yu Yuyu slapped down on the desk with her left hand as though displeased. “Why not?” “I’ve told you time after ti— Ah, right, you lost your memory...” Said Yu Yuyu after letting out a sigh. “It’s embarra.s.sing. Having ‘Yu Yuyu’ for my name…” “Well, it is quite unusual, but…” Yu Yuyu. Palindromic names are certainly uncommon.[1] I don’t think the Chinese characters are the same, but if you were to write her name in English, I reckon it’d be romanized as ‘YU YU YU’ or ‘YOU YOU YOU’... I started to worry over how much she must have been made fun of as a kid. “Then what should I call you?” “Just call me Yuyu.” “I’m not used to calling people by only their first names, though…” Especially if that person is a girl. “I know that! But I still want you to call me Yuyu!” Saying that, Yu Yuyu turned her head away with a sulky face. “Because if you call me Yu Yuyu again, I’ll hate you…” “……” I honestly think it’s a cute name, but I really have no reason to continue to call her by her full name when she herself doesn’t like it. “…Yuyu.” “Y-Yeah?” Yu Yuyu, coming across suddenly shy, averted my gaze. I first asked her a question that I’d been curious about for some time now. “Have we been eating lunch together like this all this time? Ever since we became second-year students?” “…I told you on Sat.u.r.day. Did you forget?” “Things were really chaotic at the time and there were way too many stories, so I couldn’t gather my thoughts.” As I said that, Yu Yuyu sighed. “It wasn’t right after we became second-years. It was since April.” So it was two months ago. “How did we start eating together?” “……” Yu Yuyu closed her mouth with an uncomfortable expression as soon as the words left my lips. “Um, I’m sorry... But in order to regain my memories, I think it’d be better if you told me in more detail.” Yu Yuyu sighed as I stood there staring at her, and then said: “I… I’ve been eating my lunch here since first year.” “…What?” “You see, I don’t have any friends. So whenever it was lunch time, I would always come here to eat by myself and study until it was cla.s.s time again. I’ve been doing that for the last year or so.” Speaking lightly, Yu Yuyu shrugged her shoulders with an indifferent look on her face. But I could see that her eyes were trembling slightly and her ears had a slight shade of red. Realizing it’d be better to not respond carelessly, I quietly closed my mouth. “Anyway, there was a time in April when there was a tense atmosphere in our cla.s.sroom.[2] You were wandering around this area in search of some peace and quiet at the time, and that was when you met me by chance. That’s how you came to find and use this place, since it was an ideal spot to study during lunchtime.” “…Sorry about that. It seems I took away your personal study room that you’d been using alone.” “That’s true, but…” Yu Yuyu murmured, averting her eyes again. “I-It doesn’t matter because I was able to get closer to you…” “……” Although she had an angry expression on her face as though to hide her embarra.s.sment, her countenance was coloured bright red. I don’t know why, but I became embarra.s.sed upon seeing her face as well. “S-So that’s how we became close, huh?” “Y-Yeah.” “Then how did we start going out with each other?” Yu Yuyu closed her mouth once more. “…Why would you ask me that?” “What do you mean ‘why’? That’s because—” I seemed to have hurt her feelings, so treading carefully, I tried to answer. But Yu Yuyu’s voice that followed didn’t carry a single tone of displeasure. “Do you really have to ask exactly how...?” Yuyu lowered her head shyly and spoke in a faint voice. “I think eating lunch and studying together in the same place every day… And then to end up dating is a natural progression, you know?” With her head down, Yuyu slightly raised her eyes and looked upon my face. “I-Is it?” “I-It is. Why do you ask such an embarra.s.sing question…?” As though to obscure her reddened face, Yuyu turned her head and poured barley tea from the thermos. Seeing Yuyu bringing the cup to her lips, I began to talk again. “Then who confessed first?” “Pfft!” Yuyu spat out the barley tea. Fortunately, it was before she had a mouthful, so it didn’t make a total mess. “G-Gla.s.ses! Really, were you even listening?! How could you even ask that?!” Cleaning the surface with the tissue she took out from her pocket, Yuyu shouted with a bright red face. “I need to know in order to regain my memory.” “Is it that important?! Do you really need to hear about everything?!” “Isn’t that obvious? It could become the key in regaining my memories, so I need to check everything I can.” Yuyu’s face stiffened as I replied unyieldingly. “For the record…” To ensure that she understood clearly, I put emphasis in my voice. “I’m doing what you girls are asking me to do because I was told it’d help me regain my memory. If I feel like you’re not cooperating, I’m going to drop everything and just study.” “Uu…” Yuyu’s expression became timid. “Now I’ll ask you again: Who confessed first?” “……” Yuyu’s shoulders were hunched forward with her lips tightly closed. Just as I was about to open my mouth to press her again, a faint voice flowed from Yuyu’s mouth. “……me.” “What?” “It was me! It was me!” Her face turning scarlet, Yuyu clenched her fists before her big b.r.e.a.s.t.s and shouted. “That’s right! I asked you out first! Why? Do you have a problem with that?!” “Yu... Yu Yuyu?” “Don’t call me that! Yeah, so I asked you out! Is that so wrong? Is it something you must enquire about like this, like some sort of interrogation?!” “N-No, I didn’t say it was wrong…” I stuttered, intimidated by Yuyu’s animated shouting. “Yeah! I asked you out! We were only eating lunch and studying together without any sign of romance, but I went ahead and asked you to go out with me!” “Um, calm down a b—” “I’d said that if we did go out... I’d be nice to you! I’d become a good girlfriend who listens to her boyfriend! I even said such things because I was worried that you’d perhaps turn me down. I said such embarra.s.sing things!” Having lost her composure and saying things she didn’t need to say, Yuyu looked as if she was about to cry. For some reason, seeing that face of hers made my heart flutter. “I-I see… You confessed your feelings for me first, and I accepted them…” Something like that happened, and I just forgot all about it, huh… As I muttered in a complicated state of mind, Yuyu had look on her face as if she was caught off-guard, then her expression quickly changed to that of anger. “D-Don’t be stupid! What are you talking about?! I don’t particularly have any different feelings for someone like you!” “Ehh?!” What the heck is she saying now?! “Then why did you ask me out?!” “I-I could have asked you out just out of mere curiosity, you know!” “No, no, no... To say that now is a bit…” Ah, I just remembered. You said it with your own mouth that you liked me when we first met at the hospital. So why are you denying it now? “Although I did think of wanting to go out with you, that doesn’t mean that I had feelings for you!” Incomprehensible! A woman’s heart is incomprehensible! “You said we did all those sorts of things, and you did them even though you had no feelings for me?!” “……” Her face, which had a coy expression, suddenly stiffened. When she closed her lips, I pounced on the opportunity and threw another question at her. “Leaving that aside, I find it a little hard to believe that we did those kinds of acts inside school. Did we really do those, um… lewd things here?” To tell the truth, Yu Yuyu was the most suspicious one out of the three girls. First, Yeon-hee claimed that she had crossed the line with me, followed by Han Ka-ryeon claiming that it was the same with her as well. Then Yuyu confessed at the end that she was also in that kind of relationship with me after she was provoked by Han Ka-ryeon. In other words, because of her rivalry towards Yeon-hee and Han Ka-ryeon, she might’ve fabricated and claimed a relationship that was actually non-existent; merely lying as to not be left behind. “Honestly speaking, I don’t believe you.” And it was just as difficult to imagine doing such acts inside the school no matter how unfrequented the place is. Of course I know there are actually students who do those things since I’ve heard the rumor from Sega... Maybe if it was somebody else, but it was unbelievable that it’d be something I had done. “… Again.” “What?” “…If you’re that suspicious, we can just do it here again. That’ll help you remember.” Yuyu, who was sitting with a stiff expression, slowly got up from her chair. Her fringe flowed downwards and concealed her face halfway, just like the image of Yuyu in my recollection. “…Take them off.” “Pardon me?” “I said take them off!” Shouting, Yuyu started to stride towards me. Startled, I rose from my chair and backed away, but there was nowhere to escape in such a small room. “Um, hey... Yu Yuyu?” “I told you not to call me that…” “Yu... Yuyu!” “I told you not to call me that…!” “Th-that one was just me stuttering!” Yuyu drew closer to me, forcing me against the wall, and said in a subdued voice: “Right, if you don’t believe me, you’ll know once we try it…” “T-Try what?!” “It’ll all become clearer in your mind once we try it…” Having driven me into the wall, Yuyu reached out her right hand and placed it beside by head, and then looked fiercely into my eyes. In the situation where the gender positions were reversed, I involuntarily swallowed my breath. “Wa-Wait, l-let’s talk about this!” “You said you didn’t believe me…” “Th-That was because it seemed a little unnatural… I’ll listen to your story again, and if it isn’t unnatural, I’ll believe you…!” “I think it’s only natural to end up doing lewd things when you eat and study together in the same place every day. I’ve seen it a lot in lewd graphic novels.” “What on earth are you basing this on?!” So Yu Yuyu… You read those kinds of books… “We have to try it in order to regain your memory anyway, right? Didn’t you say you needed to try more things to try and get your memory back? “No, no... Still... This is…!” “You’ll know once we try it: Whether this girl has done it many times with me, or it’s the first time…” “That’s the problem!” Perhaps if we were really in that kind of relationship before, but the situation will be considerably worse if we’re both doing it for the first time…! “Don’t worry, I’m not trying to put the responsibility on you for a relationship with another boy. I’m not close to any boys or girls. Excluding my dad and the teacher, the only guy that I’ve shared more than ten words with is you. The only boy who could steal my first time is you…” “I wasn’t worried about that in the first place!” Ignoring my shout, Yuyu pressed her body against mine. “Now, let’s get started. Haah haah…” Her breathing is heavy. She’s overcome with elation and the anxiety of committing something serious, not just mere s.e.xual desire. She has completely lost control of herself. At this rate… I’m really going to get violated. ‘Wh-What do I do now…?!’ Even so, I can’t just push Yuyu aside and run away. If Yuyu is really my girlfriend and we have an intimate relationship with each other, the wound that would inflict on her would be… “H-Hey! I have a question!” I shouted without thought. “…What is it?” Yuyu stopped moving and raised her eyes towards mine. Yet she still didn’t back off; instead, she pressed those big and soft things on her upper body against me even more.Ugh, why is the sensation so stron—Wait! “R-Right! Now that I come to think of it... Weren’t your b.r.e.a.s.t.s smaller when we first met?” “…What do you mean?” As I asked, a bewildered expression pa.s.sed across Yuyu’s face. “Well, I don’t remember exactly since it’s not like I stared at them... But I’m sure they weren’t this big at the beginning of the semester…” I can’t understand it myself why I have to make this kind of comment bordering on s.e.xual hara.s.sment, but it seemed to be effective as Yuyu separated herself from me. G-Good... Now if I divert her attention somewhere else just like this… “Did they get bigger because you’ve eaten something nice?” Because I was wondering if you could give me the recipe to pa.s.s on to Yeon-hee.” Aaah, why do I have to say this sort of stuff…?! Yeon-hee, please forgive your brother…! “C-Could it be that you put a lot of bra pads inside? A-Ahaha…” Having taken a step back, Yuyu was staring at me still. It was when I looked at her thinking it was about time now. I heard Yuyu quietly sniffle. “…Eh?” “*sob*, *sob*…” Yuyu was crying. Small droplets of tears were falling from the corners of her eyes. “Hey, Yuyu? I-I’m sorry, I went too far with the s.e.xual hara.s.sment…” Full of regret, I tried to approach her, but I was stopped by her whimpering voice. “I-I didn’t want them to be noticeable. These large b.r.e.a.s.t.s... They’re just heavy and useless, I was embarra.s.sed and I disliked them... I hated how the boys would give me weird looks. *sob*…” She said so in a plaintive voice that I’d never heard before. “So I was strapping down my b.r.e.a.s.t.s, to make them look smaller, with smaller B cup bras I bought on purpose... But you said it was bad for my health and it wasn’t good for my figure... You said that it was best to wear a size that fits my own body. *sob*…” She said while slightly swaying her shoulders, ignoring the tear droplets trickling down her cheeks. “It was embarra.s.sing, but since you said so... I was thinking that maybe you liked them bigger, so I gave my all and even got my size measured... I even bought new ones. But you... You didn’t say a word about my b.r.e.a.s.t.s after that, even though it was because of you that I did it all… You have no idea how hurt I was.” Yuyu clenched her hands and started hitting me on the chest. Those fists weakly pounding my chest didn’t inflict much pain at all; it was her voice coming in through my ears, coursing through my veins that made my heart ache deep inside. “Why... Why must you say that after you’ve forgotten everything? You don’t even remember, so don’t say it to me now…!” “…I’m sorry.” Holding the tearful Yuyu in my arms, I gave her my words of apology. “It doesn’t make me happy in the slightest even if you hug me and apologize out of pity! Even if you’re like this to me because of my story, it’s just unromantic and weird! It’s only confusing for you, too!” “You’re right… To tell you the truth, right now I’m just thinking about what cup size would be right for you if the B was too small.” “Idiot! Dummy! I hope you break your gla.s.ses…!” Not caring about my uniform getting wet with tears and mucus, I let Yuyu cry to her heart’s content. I still don’t believe that Yuyu was my girlfriend. Although I can believe part of it, there are yet many other parts that are difficult to believe. However, I can believe the fact that Yuyu had profound feelings for me. I don’t want to be as cynical to doubt that far. But the more I realise that truth, one question comes to mind: Then what kind of feelings did I have for Yuyu?
How, and with what feelings, was I treating this girl who has this kind of feelings about me?