The Impostures of Scapin Part 14

GER. But who?

SCA. The brother of that young girl whom Octave has married. He thinks that you are trying to break off that match, because you intend to give to your daughter the place she occupies in the heart of Octave; and he has resolved to wreak his vengeance upon you. All his friends, men of the sword like himself, are looking out for you, and are seeking you everywhere. I have met with scores here and there, soldiers of his company, who question every one they meet, and occupy in companies all the thoroughfares leading to your house, so that you cannot go home either to the right or the left without falling into their hands.

GER. What can I do, my dear Scapin?

SCA. I am sure I don't know, Sir; it is an unpleasant business. I tremble for you from head to foot and.... Wait a moment.

(SCAPIN _goes to see in the back of the stage if there is anybody coming_.)

GER. (_trembling_). Well?

SCA. (_coming back_). No, no; 'tis nothing.

GER. Could you not find out some means of saving me?

SCA. I can indeed think of one, but I should run the risk of a sound beating.

GER. Ah! Scapin, show yourself a devoted servant. Do not forsake me, I pray you.

SCA. I will do what I can. I feel for you a tenderness which renders it impossible for me to leave you without help.

GER. Be sure that I will reward you for it, Scapin, and I promise you this coat of mine when it is a little more worn.

SCA. Wait a minute. I have just thought, at the proper moment, of the very thing to save you. You must get into this sack, and I....

GER. (_thinking he sees somebody_). Ah!

SCA. No, no, no, no; 'tis n.o.body. As I was saying, you must get in here, and must be very careful not to stir. I will put you on my shoulders, and carry you like a bundle of something or other. I shall thus be able to take you through your enemies, and see you safe into your house. When there, we will barricade the door and send for help.

GER. A very good idea.

SCA. The best possible. You will see. (_Aside_) Ah! you shall pay me for that lie.

GER. What?

SCA. I only say that your enemies will be finely caught. Get in right to the bottom, and, above all things, be careful not to show yourself and not to move, whatever may happen.

GER. You may trust me to keep still.

SCA. Hide yourself; here comes one of the bullies! He is looking for you. (_Altering his voice_.) {Footnote: All the parts within inverted commas are supposed to be spoken by the man Scapin is personating; the rest by himself.} "Vat! I shall not hab de pleasure to kill dis Geronte, and one vill not in sharity show me vere is he?" (_To_ GeRONTE, _in his ordinary tone_) Do not stir.

"Pardi! I vill find him if he lied in de mittle ob de eart"

(_To_ GeRONTE, _in his natural tone_) Do not show yourself.

"Ho! you man vid a sack!" Sir! "I will give thee a pound if thou vilt tell me where dis Geronte is." You are looking for Mr. Geronte?

"Yes, dat I am." And on what business, Sir? "For vat pusiness?"

Yes. "I vill, pardi! trash him vid one stick to dead." Oh! Sir, people like him are not thrashed with sticks, and he is not a man to be treated so. "Vat! dis fob of a Geronte, dis prute, dis cat." Mr. Geronte, Sir, is neither a fop, a brute, nor a cad; and you ought, if you please, to speak differently. "Vat! you speak so mighty vit me?" I am defending, as I ought, an honourable man who is maligned. "Are you one friend of dis Geronte?" Yes, Sir, I am. "Ah, ah! You are one friend of him, dat is goot luck!" (_Beating the sack several times with the stick_.) "Here is vat I give you for him." (_Calling out as if he received the beating_) Ah! ah! ah! ah! Sir. Ah! ah! Sir, gently! Ah! pray. Ah! ah! ah! "Dere, bear him dat from me. Goot-pye."

Ah! the wretch. Ah!...ah!

GER. (_looking out_). Ah! Scapin, I can bear it no longer.

SCA. Ah! Sir, I am bruised all over, and my shoulders are as sore as can be.

GER. How! It was on mine he laid his stick.

SCA. I beg your pardon, Sir, it was on my back.

GER. What do you mean? I am sure I felt the blows, and feel them still.

SCA. No, I tell you; it was only the end of his stick that reached your shoulders.

GER. You should have gone a little farther back, then, to spare me, and....

SCA. (_pushing_ GeRONTE'S _head back into the sack_). Take care, here is another man who looks like a foreigner. "Frient, me run like one Dutchman, and me not fint all de tay dis treatful Geronte." Hide yourself well. "Tell me, you, Sir gentleman, if you please, know you not vere is dis Geronte, vat me look for?" No, Sir, I do not know where Geronte is. "Tell me, trutful, me not vant much vit him. Only to gife him one tosen plows vid a stick, and two or tree runs vid a swort tro' his shest." I a.s.sure you, Sir, I do not know where he is. "It seems me I see sometink shake in dat sack."

Excuse me, Sir. "I pe shure dere is sometink or oder in dat sack."

Not at all, Sir. "Me should like to gife one plow of de swort in dat sack." Ah! Sir, beware, pray you, of doing so. "Put, show me ten vat to be dere?" Gently, Sir. "Why chently?" You have nothing to do with what I am carrying. "And I, put I vill see." You shall not see. "Ah!

vat trifling." It is some clothes of mine. "Show me tem, I tell you." I will not. "You vill not?" No. "I make you feel this shtick upon de sholders." I don't care. "Ah! you vill poast!" (_Striking the sack, and calling out as if he were beaten_) Oh! oh! oh! Oh!

Sir. Oh! oh! "Goot-bye, dat is one littel lesson teach you to speak so insolent." Ah! plague the crazy jabberer! Oh!

GER. (_looking out of the sack_). Ah! all my bones are broken.

SCA. Ah! I am dying.

GER. Why the deuce do they strike on my back?

SCA. (_pushing his head back into the bag_). Take care; I see half a dozen soldiers coming together. (_Imitating the voices of several people_.) "Now, we must discover Geronte; let us look everywhere carefully. We must spare no trouble, scour the town, and not forget one single spot Let us search on all sides. Which way shall we go? Let us go that way. No, this. On the left. On the right. No; yes." (_To_ GeRONTE _in his ordinary voice_) Hide yourself well. "Ah! here is his servant. I say, you rascal, you must tell us where your master is. Speak. Be quick. At once. Make haste. Now." Ah! gentlemen, one moment. (GeRONTE _looks quietly out of the bag, and sees_ SCAPIN'S _trick_.) "If you do not tell us at once where your master is, we will shower a rain of blows on your back." I had rather suffer anything than tell you where my master is. "Very well, we will cudgel you soundly." Do as you please. "You want to be beaten, then?" I will never betray my master.

"Ah! you will have it--there." Oh!

(_As he is going to strike_, GeRONTE _gets out of the bag, and_ SCAPIN _runs away_.)

GER. (_alone_). Ah! infamous wretch! ah I rascal! ah!

scoundrel! It is thus that you murder me?

SCENE III.--ZERBINETTE, GeRONTE.

ZER. (_laughing, without seeing_ GeRONTE). Ah, ah! I must really come and breathe a little.

GER. (_aside, not seeing_ ZERBINETTE). Ah! I will make you pay for it.

ZER. (_not seeing_ GeRONTE). Ah, ah, ah, ah! What an amusing story! What a good dupe that old man is!

GER. This is no matter for laughter; and you have no business to laugh at it.

ZER. Why? What do you mean, Sir?

GER. I mean to say that you ought not to laugh at me.