The Hotel New Hampshire Part 14

We made her stand back to back with Egg; at six, Egg was almost as big as Lilly at ten, and he certainly looked more solid.

'Stand still!' Lilly said to Egg. 'Stop standing on your toes!'

'What?' said Egg.

'Stop standing on your toes, Egg!' Franny said.

'They're my my toes!' Egg said. toes!' Egg said.

'Maybe I'm dying,' Lilly said, and everyone shivered, especially Mother.

'You are not not dying,' Father said, sternly. dying,' Father said, sternly.

'Frank's the only one who's dying,' Franny said.

'No,' said Frank. 'I have already died. And the living bore me to death.'

'Stop it,' Mother said.

I went to lift weights in Iowa Bob's room. Every time the weights rolled off the end of the barbell, one of them struck the closet door, and it opened, and out fell something. Coach Bob was terrible about the closet; he just threw everything in there loose. And one morning when Iowa Bob dropped a few weights, one of them rolled into the closet and out rolled Egg's bear. The bear was wearing my running hat, Franny's green sweater, a pair of Mother's nylons.

'Egg!' I screamed.

'What?' Egg screamed.

'I found your d.a.m.n bear!' I yelled.

'It's my my bear!' Egg yelled back. bear!' Egg yelled back.

'Jesus G.o.d,' Father said, and Egg went to Dr. Blaze to have his ears checked, again, and Lilly went to Dr. Blaze to have her size checked, again.

'If she hasn't grown in two years,' Franny said, 'I doubt she's grown in the last two days.' But there were tests that could be run on Lilly, and old Dr. Blaze was apparently trying to figure out what the tests were.

'You don't eat enough, Lilly,' I said. 'Don't worry about it, but just try to eat a little more.'

'I don't like to eat,' Lilly said.

And it wouldn't rain - not a drop! Or when it rained, it was always in the afternoon, or in the evening. I would be sitting in Algebra II, or in the History of Tudor England, or in Beginning Latin, and I would hear the rain fall, and despair. Or I would be in bed, and it was dark - dark in my room and throughout the Hotel New Hampshire, and all of Elliot Park - and I would hear it raining and raining, and I'd think: Tomorrow Tomorrow! But in the morning, the rain would have turned to snow, or would have petered out; or it would be dry and windy again, and I would run my wind sprints in Elliot Park - Frank pa.s.sing me en route to the bio lab.

'Nuts, nuts, nuts,' Frank would grumble.

'Who's nuts?' I asked.

'You're nuts,' he said. 'And Franny's always always nuts. And Egg is deaf, and Lilly's weird,' Frank said. nuts. And Egg is deaf, and Lilly's weird,' Frank said.

'And you're perfectly normal, Frank?' I asked, running in place.

'At least I don't play with my body as if I were a rubber band,' Frank said. I knew, of course, that Frank played with his body - plenty - but Father had already a.s.sured me, in one of his heart-to-heart talks about boys and girls, that everyone m.a.s.t.u.r.b.a.t.ed (and ought ought to, from time to time), and so I decided to be friendly to Frank and not tease him about his beating off. to, from time to time), and so I decided to be friendly to Frank and not tease him about his beating off.

'How's it coming with stuffing the dog, Frank?' I asked him, and he became immediately serious.

'Well,' he said. There are a few problems. The pose pose, for example, is very important. I'm still deciding on the best possible pose,' he said. The actual body has been properly treated, but the pose really worries me.'

'The pose pose?' I said, trying to imagine what poses Sorrow ever had. He seemed to have slept and farted in a variety of casual positions.

'Well,' Frank explained. There are certain cla.s.sic poses in taxidermy.'

'I see,' I said.

'There's the "cornered" pose,' Frank said, and he recoiled from me, suddenly, putting his forepaws up to defend himself and raising his hackles. 'You know?' he asked.

'G.o.d, Frank,' I said. 'I don't think that that one would be too appropriate to Sorrow.' one would be too appropriate to Sorrow.'

'Well, it's a cla.s.sic,' Frank said. 'And this this one,' he said, turning sideways to me, and appearing to sneak along the limb of a tree, snarling over his shoulder. This is the "stalking" pose,' he said. one,' he said, turning sideways to me, and appearing to sneak along the limb of a tree, snarling over his shoulder. This is the "stalking" pose,' he said.

'I see,' I said, wondering if in this pose poor Sorrow would be supplied with a branch to stalk on. 'You know, he was a dog dog, Frank,' I said, 'Not a cougar.'

Frank frowned. 'Personally,' he said, 'I favor the "attack" pose.'

'Don't show me,' I said. 'Surprise me.'

'Don't worry,' he said. 'You won't recognize him.'

That is precisely what what worried me - that no one worried me - that no one would would recognize poor Sorrow. Least of all Franny. I think Frank had forgotten the purpose of what he was doing - he was so carried away with the recognize poor Sorrow. Least of all Franny. I think Frank had forgotten the purpose of what he was doing - he was so carried away with the project project of it; he was getting three credits of independent study in biology for the task, and Sorrow had taken on the proportions of a term paper for a course. I could not imagine Sorrow, ever, in an 'attack' pose. of it; he was getting three credits of independent study in biology for the task, and Sorrow had taken on the proportions of a term paper for a course. I could not imagine Sorrow, ever, in an 'attack' pose.

'Why not just curl Sorrow up in a ball, the way he used to sleep,' I said, 'with his tail over his face and his nose in his a.s.shole?'

Frank looked disgusted, as usual, and I was tired of running in place; I did a few more wind sprints across Elliot Park.

I heard Max Urick yell at me from his fourth-floor window in the Hotel New Hampshire. 'You G.o.dd.a.m.n fool!' Max cried across the frozen ground, the dead leaves, and startled squirrels in the park. Off the fire escape, at her end of the second floor, a pale green nightgown waved in the grey air: Ronda Ray must have been sleeping in the blue one this morning, or in the black one - or in the shocking-orange one. The pale green one flapped at me like a flag, and I ran a few more wind sprints.

When I went to 3F, Iowa Bob was already up; he was doing his neck bridge routine, down on his back on the oriental rug, a pillow under his head. He was into a high neck bridge - with the barbell, at about 150 pounds, held straight over his head. Old Bob had a neck as big as my thigh.

'Good morning,' I whispered, and his eyes rolled back, and the barbell tilted, and he hadn't screwed the little things that hold the weights on tight enough, so that a few of the weights rolled off one end, and then the other, and Coach Bob shut his eyes and cringed as the weights dropped on either side of his head and went rolling off everywhere. I stopped a couple with my feet, but one of them rolled into the closet door, and it opened, of course, and out came a few things; a broom, a sweat shirt, Bob's running shoes, and a tennis racquet with his sweatband wrapped around the handle.

'Jesus G.o.d,' said Father, from downstairs in our family's kitchen.

'Good morning,' Bob said to me.

'Do you think Ronda Ray is attractive?' I asked him.

'Oh boy,' said Coach Bob.

'No, really,' I said.

'Really?' he said. 'Go ask your father. I'm too old. I haven't looked at girls since I broke my nose - the last time.'

That must have been in the line, at Iowa, I knew, because old Bob's nose had quite a number of wrinkles in it. He never put his teeth in until breakfast, too, so that his head in the early mornings looked astonishingly bald - like some strange, featherless bird, his empty mouth gaping like the lower half of a bill under his bent nose. Iowa Bob had the head of a gargoyle on the body of a lion.

'Well, do you think she's "pretty," ' I asked him.

'I don't think about it,' he said.

'Well, think about it now!' I said.

'Not exactly "pretty," ' said Iowa Bob. 'But she's sort of appealing.'

'Appealing?' I asked.

's.e.xy!' said a voice over Bob's intercom - Franny's voice, of course; she had been listening to the squawk boxes at the switchboard, as usual.

'd.a.m.n kids,' said Iowa Bob.

'd.a.m.n it, Franny!' I said.

'You should ask me me,' Franny said.

'Oh boy,' said Iowa Bob.

So it was that I came to tell Franny the story of Ronda Ray's apparent offer on the stairwell, her interest in my hard breathing, and in my beating heart - and the plan for a rainy day.

'So? Do it,' said Franny. 'But why wait for the rain?'

'Do you think she's a wh.o.r.e?' I asked Franny.

'You mean, do I think she charges money?' Franny said.

That thought had not occurred to me - 'wh.o.r.e' being a word that was used all too loosely at the Dairy School.

'Money?' I said. 'How much do you think she charges?'

'I don't know if if she charges,' Franny said, 'but if I were you, that's something I'd want to find out.' At the intercom, we switched to Ronda's room and listened to her breathing. It was her awake-but-just-lying-there-breathing sound. We listened to her a long while, as if we would understand from what we heard the possible she charges,' Franny said, 'but if I were you, that's something I'd want to find out.' At the intercom, we switched to Ronda's room and listened to her breathing. It was her awake-but-just-lying-there-breathing sound. We listened to her a long while, as if we would understand from what we heard the possible price price attached to her. Franny finally shrugged. attached to her. Franny finally shrugged.

'I'm going to take a bath,' she said, and she gave a twirl to the room dial, and the intercom listened to the empty rooms. 2A, not a sound; 3A, nothing; 4A, nothing at all; IB, nothing; 4B, Max Urick and his static. Franny was leaving the switchboard to go draw her bath and I gave the room dial a twirl: to 2C, 3C, 4C, then switching fast to 2E, 3E... and there it was and there it was .. and on to 4E, where there was nothing. .. and on to 4E, where there was nothing.

'Wait a minute,' I said.

'What was that that?' Franny said.

'Three E, I think,' I said.

'Try it again,' she said. It was the floor above Ronda Ray, and at the opposite end of the hall from her; it was across the hall from Iowa Bob, who was out.

'Do it,' Franny said. We were scared. We had no no guests in the Hotel New Hampshire, but there had been one h.e.l.l of a sound from 3E. guests in the Hotel New Hampshire, but there had been one h.e.l.l of a sound from 3E.

It was Sunday afternoon. Frank was in the bio lab and Egg and Lilly were at the movie matinee. Ronda Ray was just sitting in her room, and Iowa Bob was out. Mrs. Urick was in the kitchen, and Max Urick was playing his radio behind the static.

I put on 3E and Franny and I heard it again.

'Oooooooooo!' went the woman.

'Hoo, hoo, hoo!' went the man.

But the Texan had gone home, long ago, and there was no woman staying in 3E.

'Yike, yike, yike!' said the woman.

'm.u.f.f, m.u.f.f, m.u.f.f!' 'm.u.f.f, m.u.f.f, m.u.f.f!' said the man. said the man.

It was as if the crazy intercom system had made them up! Franny held my hand, tightly. I tried to switch it off, or move it to another, calmer room, but Franny wouldn't let me.

'Eeeep!' the woman cried.

'Nup!' said the man. A lamp fell. Then the woman laughed, and the man began to mutter.

'Jesus G.o.d,' my father said.

'Another lamp,' Mother said, and went on laughing.

'If we were guests,' Father said, 'we'd have to pay for it!'

They laughed at this as if Father had said the funniest thing in the world.

Turn it off!' Franny said. I did.

'It's kind of funny, isn't it?' I ventured to say.

'They have to use the hotel,' Franny said, 'just to get away from us us!'

I couldn't see what she was thinking.

'G.o.d!' Franny said. They really love love each other - they really each other - they really do do!' And I wondered why I had taken such a thing for granted, and why it seemed to surprise my sister so much. Franny dropped my hand and wrapped her arms around herself; she hugged herself, as if she were trying to wake herself up, or get warm. 'What am I I going to do?' she said. 'What's it going to be like? What happens next?' she asked. going to do?' she said. 'What's it going to be like? What happens next?' she asked.

But I could never see as far as Franny could see. I was not really looking beyond that moment; I had even forgotten Ronda Ray.

'You were going to take a bath,' I reminded Franny, who seemed in need of reminding - or some other advice.

'What?' she said.

'A bath,' I said. 'That's what was going to happen next. You were going to take a bath.' what was going to happen next. You were going to take a bath.'

'Ha!' Franny cried. 'The h.e.l.l with that!' she said. 'f.u.c.k the bath!' said Franny, and went on hugging herself, and moving in place, as if she were trying to dance with herself. I couldn't tell whether she was happy or upset, but when I began to fool with her - to dance with her, and push her, and tickle her under the arms, she pushed and tickled and danced back, and we ran out of the switchboard room and up the stairwell to the second-floor landing.

'Rain, rain, rain!' Franny started yelling, and I became terribly embarra.s.sed; Ronda Ray opened the door to her dayroom, and frowned at us.

'We're having a rain dance,' Franny told her. 'Want to dance with us?'

Ronda smiled. She had on a shocking-orange nightgown. There was a magazine in her hand.