The Hesperides & Noble Numbers Part 147

Fie, quoth my lady, what a stink is here?

When 'twas her breath that was the carrionere.

_Carrionere_, carrion-carrier.

612. UPON c.o.c.k.

c.o.c.k calls his wife his Hen: when c.o.c.k goes to't, c.o.c.k treads his Hen, but treads her underfoot.

632. UPON BRAN. EPIG.

What made that mirth last night? the neighbours say, That Bran the baker did his breech beray: I rather think, though they may speak the worst, 'Twas to his batch, but leaven laid there first.

_Beray_, befoul.

633. UPON SNARE, AN USURER.

Snare, ten i' th' hundred calls his wife; and why?

She brings in much by carnal usury.

He by extortion brings in three times more: Say, who's the worst, th' exactor or the wh.o.r.e?

634. UPON GRUDGINGS.

Grudgings turns bread to stones, when to the poor He gives an alms, and chides them from his door.

638. UPON GANDER. EPIG.

Since Gander did his pretty youngling wed, Gander, they say, doth each night p.i.s.s a-bed: What is the cause? Why, Gander will reply, No goose lays good eggs that is trodden dry.

639. UPON LUNGS. EPIG.

Lungs, as some say, ne'er sets him down to eat But that his breath does fly-blow all the meat.

650. UPON COB. EPIG.

Cob clouts his shoes, and, as the story tells, His thumb nails par'd afford him sparrables.

_Sparrables_, "sparrow-bills," headless nails.

652. UPON SKOLES. EPIG.

Skoles stinks so deadly, that his breeches loath His dampish b.u.t.tocks furthermore to clothe; Cloy'd they are up with a.r.s.e; but hope, one blast Will whirl about, and blow them thence at last.

661. UPON JONE AND JANE.

Jone is a wench that's painted; Jone is a girl that's tainted; Yet Jone she goes Like one of those Whom purity had sainted.

Jane is a girl that's pretty; Jane is a wench that's witty; Yet who would think, Her breath does stink, As so it doth? that's pity.

668. UPON ZELOT.

Is Zelot pure? he is: yet! see he wears The sign of circ.u.mcision in his ears.

670. UPON MADAM URSLY. EPIG.

For ropes of pearl, first Madam Ursly shows A chain of corns picked from her ears and toes; Then, next, to match Tradescant's curious sh.e.l.ls, Nails from her fingers mew'd she shows: what else?

Why then, forsooth, a carcanet is shown Of teeth, as deaf as nuts, and all her own.

_Tradescant_, a collector of curiosities. See Note.

_Mew'd_, moulted.

_Deaf as nuts._ _Cf._ De Quincey, "a deaf nut offering no kernel."

705. UPON TRIGG. EPIG.

Trigg having turn'd his suit, he struts in state, And tells the world he's now regenerate.

706. UPON SMEATON.

How could Luke Smeaton wear a shoe, or boot, Who two-and-thirty corns had on a foot.

714. LAXARE FIBULAM.

To loose the b.u.t.ton is no less, Than to cast off all bashfulness.

730. UPON FRANCK.

Franck would go scour her teeth; and setting to 't Twice two fell out, all rotten at the root.

733. UPON PAUL. EPIG.

Paul's hands do give; what give they, bread or meat, Or money? no, but only dew and sweat.

As stones and salt gloves use to give, even so Paul's hands do give, nought else for ought we know.