The Harlequinade: An Excursion Part 6

EGLANTINE. So you are a chambermaid?

[Richardson curtseys. That's a poor way to describe it. It is a bob rustic indeed, but it veils Columbine very slightly. She is like one of the flowers of Keats, "all tiptoe for a flight." Into the room with the arch-valet and the very tired, elegant modish man she has come like the scent of mignonette through the window. His lordship's mind stirs even under its counterpane of cards and dice and b.u.t.tered claret and snuff and fripperies, and one might think he heard the echo of a thrush's song sung when he was a boy (Unbelievable thought), and climbed trees.

And where do you come from?

HARLEQUIN. The country, my lord.

EGLANTINE. I lived in the country once. There used to be things one picked in the hedges ...

[He has forgotten those, too.

HARLEQUIN. Blackberries?

EGLANTINE. I don't think they were called blackberries. Things with a rough husky scent.

[Columbine's lips make a pretty pout. In another moment we should hear Prim--...

The girl has it. Primroses. One forgets. One lives to learn to forget. [He likes the sound of that. It fits the sense. It is almost an epigram.] A guinea, child, for the song. Sing at your work. I like to hear you.

[She floats away. Eglantine has turned to his mirror.

Fifteen thousand pounds lost and not another wrinkle. Sir Jeffrey Rake had it of me last night. They keep those rooms so hot. Quin, am I pale?

HARLEQUIN. Perhaps a little, my lord.

[From nowhere in particular Quin (Harle-Quin, you notice) produces the Beau's morning chocolate, which Eglantine sips daintily.

EGLANTINE. What do I do to-day?

HARLEQUIN. At eight o'clock comes Mr. Talon.

EGLANTINE. A plaguy fellow, my attorney! And I have not slept a wink. What does he want with us?

HARLEQUIN. Among other things your lordship's signature to the marriage settlement.

EGLANTINE. Whose marriage settlement?

HARLEQUIN. At ten o'clock your lordship is to be married.

EGLANTINE. So I am! Heel-taps and Hymen's torches! so I am! Wonderful fellow, you remember everything! But death of my waistcoats! Have I but two hours to dress in? Not more. Begin on me ... begin.

HARLEQUIN. Pardon, my lord, the bell.

EGLANTINE. That's the man of law. Show him in. You can bring water in here ... my turban ... pantoufles.

[The door opens and in totters Pantaloon. You know him for Pantaloon, as you knew him as Pantaloon for Charon, for all he's Mr. Talon with his tie wig, his spectacles, and his lawyer's blue bag.

HARLEQUIN. His lordship will receive you, Mr. Talon.

PANTALOON. To celebrate your master's wedding day ... two crowns.

HARLEQUIN. I am obleeged, sir.

[Quin takes the proffered money and salutes in thanks. But--it's odd-- the salute is as when Charon saluted Mercury.

ALICE. D'you see ... in a dim sort of way they remember themselves and Olympus.

EGLANTINE. Mr. Talon, 'pon me honour, as punctual as a creditor. Port?

Madeira or Port, Mr. Talon? Quin, Mr. Talon will drink Madeira.

[Quin pours out the Madeira. Quin takes his master's wig, beturbans him, brings rose-water for his hands, cosmetics for his face. Quin is everywhere. Quin does everything. It is magical.

Mr. Talon, you look black at me.

[Mr. Talon, seated, warmed with his wine, takes many red-taped papers from his bag and a quill from a case.

PANTALOON. A goose quill.

EGLANTINE. One of your own plucking?

PANTALOON. Often too appropriate for the signing of such doc.u.ments.

EGLANTINE. This the settlement? Small house ... strip of woodland ...

rentals of farm ... two hundred a year! Is that all?

PANTALOON. It is all there is left to settle, my lord; all that is left to you of your estate.

EGLANTINE. The Lady Clarissa may well complain.

PANTALOON. But if you had not pledged yourself to pay her debts besides you would be still twelve thousand five hundred pounds the richer.

EGLANTINE. True!

PANTALOON. And I must warn your lordship that all this done, if it's to be done, you will have left to you a mere fifteen thousand pounds in stocks.

That, and no more in the world.

EGLANTINE. Fifteen?

PANTALOON. Exactly.

EGLANTINE. How lucky. The very sum I lost last night to Sir Jeffrey Rake.

Had it been more how could I have paid him? Had it been less we should have been troubled with the change.

PANTALOON. My lord, my lord!

EGLANTINE. You seem distressed. Quin, a gla.s.s of wine for Mr. Talon to restore him.