The Handy Cyclopedia of Things Worth Knowing Part 1

The Handy Cyclopedia of Things Worth Knowing.

by Joseph Triemens.

TO OUR PATRONS

This little book is presented to you to evidence our appreciation of your patronage. We trust you will examine its contents closely, for you will find within its covers many things that will prove entertaining, instructive and useful.

It is new and up-to-date and has been expressly compiled for our patrons. Only matter of real interest and value has been included in its pages.

It is a general experience that answers to those questions which arise most often in every-day life are hardest to find. Information on practical subjects is usually just beyond your reach when it is most desired. You will use this little book every day when you "want to know."

It is equally valuable to all cla.s.ses, men as well as women; to workers generally as well as people of leisure. It is the book for the busy housekeeper as well as the woman of fashion.

We shall feel amply repaid for the painstaking labor, care and expense which we have bestowed upon this little volume if its constant utility to you more firmly cements your good will to our establishment.

Just a few words about the advertis.e.m.e.nts. They are from concerns of established reputation whose products we freely recommend with full confidence that they are the best of their respective kinds. The index to the advertising section is on pages 5 and 6.

Sincerely yours, THE CENTRAL DRUG CO.

SOCIAL FORMS

Manners and Customs of Good Society

ETIQUETTE OF COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE.

It is a growing custom in America not to announce an engagement until the date of the marriage is approximately settled. Long engagements are irksome to both man and woman, and a man is generally not supposed to ask a girl to marry him until he is able to provide a home for her.

This, however, does not prevent long friendships between young couples or a sentimental understanding growing up between them, and it is during this period that they learn to know each other and find out if they are suited for a life's partnership.

When a "young man goes a-courting" it generally means that he has some particular girl in mind whom he has singled out as the object of his devotion. A man a-courting is generally on his best behavior, and many a happily married wife looks back on her courting days as the most delightful of her life. At that time the woman is the object of a devotion to which she has as yet conceded nothing. She is still at liberty to weigh and choose, to compare her lover to other men, while the knowledge that she is the ultimate girl that some man is trying to win gives her a pretty sense of self-importance and a feeling that she has come into the heritage of womanhood.

Whether it is one of the fictions about courtship or not, it is generally a.s.sumed that a young woman is longer in making up her mind than is the young man. When a man finds the right girl he is pretty apt to know it, and it is his business then to start out and persuade her to his point of view. "Neither willing nor reluctant" is the att.i.tude of the young girl.

Gifts and Attention.

Just what attention a man is privileged to show a young woman to whom he is not engaged, and yet to whom he wishes to express his devotion, is a point a little difficult to define.

If she is a bookish girl she will be pleased with gifts of books or the suggestion that they may read the same books so they may talk them over together. She will probably feel complimented if a man discusses with her his business affairs and the problems that are interesting men in their life work. When a man begins to call often and regularly on a girl it is best to have some topic of conversation aside from personalities.

When a man is led to spend more money than he can afford in entertaining a girl it is a bad preparation for matrimony. Courtship is a time when a man desires to bring gifts, and it is quite right and fitting that he should do so within reasonable limits. A girl of refined feelings does not like to accept valuable presents from a man at this period of their acquaintance. Flowers, books, music, if the girl plays or sings, and boxes of candy are always permissible offerings which neither engage the man who offers them nor the girl who receives them. This is the time when a man invites a girl to the theater, to concerts and lectures, and may offer to escort her to church. The pleasure of her society is supposed to be a full return for the trouble and expense incurred in showing these small attentions.

The Claims of Companionship.

A man cannot justly complain if a girl accepts similar favors from other men, for until he has proposed and been accepted he has no claim on her undivided companionship. An att.i.tude of proprietorship on his part, particularly if it is exercised in public, is as bad manners as it is unwise, and a high-spirited girl, although she may find her feelings becoming engaged, is p.r.o.ne to resent it. It should be remembered that a man is free to cease his attentions, and until he has finally surrendered his liberty he should not expect her to devote all her time to him.

At this period it is a wise man who makes a friend of a girl's mother, and if he does this he will generally be repaid in a twofold manner. No matter how willful a girl may be, her mother's opinion of her friends always has weight with her.

Moreover, what the mother is the girl will in all probability become, and a man has no better opportunity of learning a girl's mental and moral qualities than by knowing the woman who bore and reared her.

Engagement and Wedding Rings.

The form and material of "the mystic ring of marriage" change but little, and innovations on the plain gold band are rarely successful.

The very broad, flat band is now out of date and replaced by a much narrower ring, sufficiently thick, however, to stand the usage of a lifetime. It is generally engraved on the concealed side with the initials of the giver and the date of the marriage. The gold in the ring should be as pure as possible, and the color, which depends on the alloy used, should be un.o.btrusive, the pale gold being better liked now than the red gold. Many women never remove their wedding ring after it has been put on and believe it is bad luck to do so.

There is but one choice for an engagement ring, a solitaire diamond, and cl.u.s.ters or colored stones are not considered in this connection. As after the wedding the engagement ring is used as a guard to the wedding ring, it should be as handsome as possible, and a small, pure stone is a far better choice than a more showy one that may be a little off in color or possess a flaw.

Correct Form in Jewelry.

On the wedding day the groom often makes the bride a wedding present of some piece of jewelry, and if this is to be worn during the ceremony it should consist of white stones in a thin gold or platinum setting, such as a pendant, bracelet or pin of pearls and diamonds. If a colored stone is preferred--and a turquoise, for instance, adds the touch of blue which is supposed to bring a bride good luck--it should be concealed inside the dress during the services.

As a memento of the event a groom often presents his ushers with a scarf pin or watch or cigarette case ornamented with the initials of the bride and groom, and the bride generally makes a similar present to her bridesmaids of some dainty piece of jewelry. Whether this takes the form of a pin, bracelet or one of the novelties that up-to-date jewelers are always showing, it should be the best of its kind. Imitation stones or "silver gilt" have no place as wedding gifts.

Wedding Customs.

There is no time in a woman's life when ceremonies seem so important as when a wedding in the family is imminent. Whether the wedding is to be a simple home ceremony or an elaborate church affair followed by a reception, the formalities which etiquette prescribes for these functions should be carefully studied and followed. Only by doing so can there be the proper dignity, and above all the absence of confusion that should mark the most important episode in the life of a man or woman.

Wedding customs have undergone some changes of late years, mostly in the direction of simplicity. Meaningless display and ostentation should be avoided, and, if a girl is marrying into a family much better endowed in worldly goods than her own, she should have no false pride in insisting on simple festivities and in preventing her family from incurring expense that they cannot afford. The entire expenses of a wedding, with the exception of the clergyman's fee and the carriage which takes the bride and groom away for their honeymoon, are met by the bride's family, and there is no worse impropriety than in allowing the groom to meet or share any of these obligations. Rather than allow this a girl would show more self-respect in choosing to do away with the social side of the function and be content with the marriage ceremony read by her clergyman under his own roof.

Invitations and Announcements.

In the case of a private wedding announcement cards should be mailed the following day to all relatives and acquaintances of both the contracting parties.

Evening weddings are no longer the custom, and the fashionable hour is now high noon, although in many cases three o'clock in the afternoon is the hour chosen. Whether the wedding is to be followed by a reception or not, the invitations to it should be sent out not less than two weeks before the event, and these should be promptly accepted or declined by those receiving them. The acceptance of a wedding invitation by no means implies that the recipient is obliged to give a present. These are only expected of relatives and near friends of the bride and groom, and in all cases the presents should be addressed and sent to the bride, who should acknowledge them by a prettily worded note of thanks as soon as the gifts are received or, at the latest, a few days after the marriage ceremony.

Silver and Linen.

The usual rule followed in the engraving of silver or the marking of linen is to use the initials of the bride's maiden name. The question of duplicate gifts is as annoying to the sender as it is to the young couple who are ultimately to enjoy the gifts. Theoretically, it is bad form to exchange a gift after it has been received, but, in truth, this is often done when a great deal of silver is given by close friends or members of the family it is a comparatively easy matter to find out what has already been sent and to learn the bride's wishes in this matter.

Prenuptial Functions.

After the wedding invitations are out it is not customary for a girl to attend any social functions or to be much seen in public. This gives her the necessary time to devote to the finishing of her trousseau and for making any necessary arrangements for the new life she is to take up after the honeymoon is over. Family dinners are quite proper at this time, and it is expected of her to give a lunch to her bridesmaids. The wedding presents may be shown at this occasion, but any more public and general display of them is now rarely indulged in and is, in fact, not considered in good taste.

The groom, as a prenuptial celebration, is supposed to give a supper to his intimate bachelor friends and the men who are to act as ushers at the marriage ceremony. The ushers are generally recruited from the friends of the groom rather than those of the bride, but if she has a grown brother he is always asked to act in this capacity. Ushers, like bridesmaids, are chosen among the unmarried friends of the young couple, although a matron of honor is often included in the bridal party.

The Bride's Trousseau.

The bride's trousseau should be finished well before the fortnight preceding the wedding. Fashions change so quickly now that it is rarely advisable for a bride to provide gowns for more than a season ahead. If the check her father furnishes her for her trousseau is a generous one it is a wise provision to put a part of it aside for later use, and in so doing she has the equivalent of a wardrobe that will last her for a year or more.