The Ghost Breaker: A Melodramatic Farce in Four Acts Part 17

JARVIS. Get back! Give me that lantern. (RUSTY _hands lantern_.) Give me your hand. Can you hold me? (RUSTY _holds out hand and_ JARVIS _cautiously steps on trap door; it sinks and other end rises_.) G.o.d! I thought so. Water and a long drop! No wonder people disappear in this castle. Good Lord, what if her brother went down there? Rusty, whatever happens, keep clear of this. If you step on this you will never see Kentucky again for sure. (_Groan heard off left._)

RUSTY. Did you hear that groan? (_Wind changes to low moan._)

JARVIS. Groan---- There it is again. It sounded just like a man.

RUSTY. Ough! Ough!

JARVIS. Shut up! (_Crosses to_ L.C.)

RUSTY. Ma.r.s.e Warren--look out!

JARVIS. Listen! (_Crosses and stands moment at door. Wind moans._) I guess it's the wind. (_He crosses to fireplace._) This place is getting on my nerves.

RUSTY. (R.C.) That wasn't no wind, Ma.r.s.e Warren. Ah hope to die if that wasn't a sure enough human groan. (_He looks at picture_ L.) And Ah want to tell you som'pin' else. Have you ever been in church or somewhere and all of a sudden a feelin' come over you that there was eyes a-starin' at the back of your head? You just knowed it--until you couldn't stand it no longer, and just turned around and see who it was?

JARVIS. Why, yes, Rusty, I have had that happen. Why?

RUSTY. That's just the way I feel now, like there was eyes a-lookin' at me. (_Turns to picture._) You see that picture? Seems like that feller was lookin' at me--like he'd step right out of the frame. (_He points to armor on steps._) Or them two battleship boogies--just jump right down here.

JARVIS. It's been a good many years since those boys jumped, Rusty.

(_Noise off stage of running._) Hark! Listen! (_He crosses to_ L.C., _pistol drawn; stands listening._) Somebody's running--coming this way---- (_Dull thud at back._)

RUSTY. I want to go home!

JARVIS. What do you know about that?

RUSTY. I don't want to know nothin' about it.

JARVIS. I thought so.

RUSTY. What is it?

JARVIS. The man with a smoky lantern has been up those stairs.

RUSTY. You ain't goin' up there, is you?

JARVIS. I am not--because the Duke or some of his men are probably waiting for me at the top of the stairs with a big long gun, and I'm no book hero.

RUSTY. Suppose it's the Prince?

JARVIS. Well, suppose it is the Prince. He might blow my head off, because he doesn't know what I came here for--and if it's someone else, they'll blow my head off, because they do know.

RUSTY. (_Looks at ceiling and following supposed sounds with head_ R.C.) Sounds like somebody was runnin' round.

JARVIS. (C.) They're trying to scare us, Rusty. They're probably watching every move we make. That's where that pounding comes from. Why don't they shoot? They're trying to scare us, like they did the poor b.o.o.bs down in the village. (RUSTY _crosses to fireplace_.) They want to get us out of here. They want to get us out of this room. Rusty, someone was working in the room. Now, where was he working? Where was he----

RUSTY. (_Meanwhile has crossed to mantel and picked up hammer and chisel_) Look here, Ma.r.s.e Warren--look y'ere! (_A few steps from fireplace._)

JARVIS. (_Crossing to_ RUSTY) What is it, Rusty?

RUSTY. (_Handing them to_ JARVIS) Look at them.

JARVIS. Where did you find them, Rusty?

RUSTY. (_Pointing to mantel_) Up there.

JARVIS. Good boy, Rusty! Now I'll tell you something. These are his tools. Someone was working in this room, so we've beaten him to it. Now, where was he working? (_Hands on floor._) Mortar on floor. (_Hands on mantel._) Mortar on the mantel----(_Puts down tools, looking up and pointing._) Look at that! That's where he was working, Rusty, and we've beat him to it--we've beat him!

(_Long pause. Both turn simultaneously and look at picture._ JARVIS _draws revolver_. RUSTY _turns to_ JARVIS _and sees that he looks at picture_.)

RUSTY. (_Scared voice_) Did you feel that, too?

(JARVIS _crosses slowly and cautiously to picture; feels all around picture and lights a match to examine it; pa.s.ses light all around frame_.)

JARVIS. (_Backing away_) By G.o.d, that's weird! You could feel that just as plain---- (_Backs to steps and sits on bal.u.s.trade, over which figure in armor is standing._) By G.o.d, that's weird! (_In awed voice. Figure in armor raises sword slowly directly behind_ JARVIS.)

RUSTY. (_Looking at picture_) It sure is, Ma.r.s.e Warren, it sure is---- (RUSTY _turns just in time to see sword raised above Jarvis' head; screams_) Look out! (_Ducks behind table in turret_ R. _Fight then takes place between figure in armor and_ JARVIS. _Figure finally gets on trap_ R.C. _and disappears out of sight_.) Where is he? (_From behind hiding-place._)

JARVIS. Water and a long drop. There's another of the Duke's men gone to h.e.l.l.

RUSTY. I knowed them battleship boogies was spooks.

JARVIS. (Picks up sword man in armor dropped; C.) We'll just take a look at this other fellow. (_He goes to make a swipe at figure on other side of stairs--sees_ RUSTY.) What's the matter? Are you scared?

RUSTY. You can't scare me--I'm scared already.

(JARVIS _makes feint at figure. No response; feints again, as though to strike, meaning to draw man out if he is in armor; no response; goes up steps, knocks armor over._)

JARVIS. I guess he's harmless. (_Drops sword at foot of steps._)

RUSTY. A--ah! (_Running up steps and picking up armor._) I'll just fix him so he won't jump no more! (_Cross to trap._)

JARVIS. What are you going to do?

RUSTY. I'm going to sink this other battleship!

JARVIS. Hold on--wait a minute. I reckon we can use that. It takes a thief to catch a thief, they say. We'll just outspook Mr. Ghost. Now, come on, Rusty. Get into this hardware as fast as you can.

RUSTY. Ma.r.s.e Warren, I don't want to be no spook!

JARVIS. Listen! Somebody was working in this room. It's a cinch that the treasure is here, and it's a bigger cinch he'll come back to get it when we've gone.

RUSTY. You ain't going to leave me here alone?

JARVIS. Sure, I'm going to put you in this, so you can watch. I'm going to make a bluff that we're both gone. You'll be as safe as a church in this. No one would ever think of looking for one of us in this armor.

You watch, and when he starts to work, then yell your head off.

RUSTY. I'll yell so loud they will hear me in Kentucky.