The Forest Monster of Oz Part 9

"s.h.a.ggy elephants?" tweeted Tweaty.

"Wooly mammoths?" questioned Lisa and Hootsey together.

"Neither of those," replied the princess. "They are just Droffs."

"We did not come to seek the Droffs," said Ozma. "Nor did we come to see the Gilligoggs. We were looking for the Saber-Toothed Light-Bulbs. Are they not in this area?"

"They are," said Hootsey with certainty. "I know they are."

"Perhaps," said the young lady. "Perhaps they are among the Droffs. I do not know of them. Nor do I especially care to. They might be unpleasant."

"But how can you know whether or not they are pleasant if you refuse even to see them?"

"Best to be safe," said Dianna. "Why invite trouble? We Gilligoggs have always known that we are superior to all other living beings, so we avoid contact with anyone else. If we start to invite trouble, we're sure to get it in great doses."

"But that's awful!" put in Tweaty. "You don't even give them a chance?"

"Why should we? They are not Gilligoggs. Heavens! They have the most outlandish-looking noses!" She eyed Elephant in a scrutinizing manner.

"I think I should like to meet these Droffs," harrumphed Elephant.

"Then by all means please leave as quickly as you can," said Dianna. "I would not want my people to have to gaze upon anyone who would a.s.sociate with Droffs. They are messy things at best. I had offered you a great honor in speaking to you, but you obviously do not appreciate it. Had the dross not been with you, Miss Queen of Oz, I should not have even acknowledged them. Good day to you..." So saying, the princess walked away without looking back.

Our six adventurers hurried through the Gilligogg territory. Few of the Gilligoggs even stopped to look at them as they pa.s.sed through. Before long, they came upon a creature who looked a good deal like Elephant, and who was obviously a Droff.

"Hey," said the Droff. "Who you am?"

"I am Ozma, Queen of Oz," said the child.

"You much good to be here," replied the Droff. "Me are called Biff. Who is them?"

Each of the five Lunechiens introduced himself.

"Me likes Elephant lots," said Biff. "Him look like Droff, but smooth.

Him might relative to me I. Maybe like Droff. Ozma Queen and others like eat? Droffs no have much, but share. Me have oatmeal with much gravy.

For nice Queen, me even serve with sprinkles. Me likes Queen lots, and Elephant. Have good seeds for birdies, too. Mouse want cheese? Me haves Swiss. Usually only haves Swiss on Sunday. It is holey. But for friend of good and nice Queen, me get some for nice little mouse."

"How kind," said Nibbles. "Thank you."

The Droff, though not as graceful as he might have been, served up a repast that was happily received by his guests.

"The Droffs are obviously more hospitable than the Gilligoggs," said Tweaty.

"Gilligoggs?" echoed Biff. "You am knowing Gilligoggs?"

"We just pa.s.sed through their country on our way here," explained Lisa.

"Me wish me knew Gilligoggs," sighed Biff. "Them not let Droffs pa.s.s through. Not come to visit Droffs, neither. To Gilligogg, Droff land just place to dump stuff they no want."

"Stuff?" asked Ozma. "What stuff?"

"Old stuff, most," replied the Droff. "Rotted foods. Old packages.

Cigarette ends. You am knowing. Stuff."

"What slobs!" said Lisa with distaste. "And that princess had the nerve to say that Droffs were messy!"

"But it explains why the Droffs have such low-quality land," sighed Ozma. "It isn't that the Droffs are unsanitary. The very reason the Gilligoggs look down on the Droffs is caused by the Gilligoggs themselves!"

"They are high and sophisticated, I guess," added Hootsey. "But their refusal to see what they are doing to the world around them has made them into a life form that is most undesirable. They have made themselves become exactly what they dislike in others."

"Me thinks that is not Gilligogg's fault," said Biff, defending his neighbors. "Me has seen that all hatred do that lots. If you hate something so bad that you try to be away from it a lot, you start to be turning into it you self. Me not like hate. Me hate hate most hatefulishly."

"Yes," agreed Lisa. "When knowledge is used for cruel purposes, there is no knowledge any more. Both sides end up losers. I think the Gilligoggs could learn a lot from the Droffs."

"Me thank you, owl bird," said Biff with a smile. "You am nice. Me likes you."

"Me likes ... I mean, I like you, too," said Lisa. "Now tell me, do you know of the Saber-Toothed Light-Bulbs?"

"Light-Bulbs?" echoed Biff. "Not know. Not do. Maybe friend know of that, though. Friend are much smart and also wise. Him have good and useful gla.s.s head. Him and him's people living close nearby. Them have seen much."

"Hmmm," said Ozma. "Have them got large, sharp teeth?"

"Oh, yes!" said Biff. "Much good for opening packages! Much nice, friends are. You be liking Droffs' friends. Me can take pretty queen and nice Elephant and friends to see Droffs' friend as shortly as you am finishing eatings. Me can show to other Droffs, too."

"I would like that very much," said Ozma. "I think I will like the Droffs just fine."

"And them would be liking you," said Biff with certainty.

As soon as the visitors finished eating, the kindly Droff led them to an adjacent valley wherein they saw bright lights. These, as Hootsey explained, were the Saber-Toothed Light Bulbs themselves. From a distance, they looked pretty much like ordinary light bulbs. But as our little party drew closer, they could see the individuality of each Saber-Toothed Light Bulb. One of the larger Light Bulbs saw them approaching and lit up. "Look, fellows!" he said. "It's Biff! And he has brought some friends along!"

"Hi, Watts!" said Biff to the light bulb. "Me is so happy to seeing you!

Me haves the Queen of Oz here, too. Her wants to meet you. Her are much good and nice. You are liking her?"

"Of course," replied Watts. "Any friend of Biff's is a friend of mine!"

He extended one of his long appendages to the small queen. She took it in her hand. "It is a pleasure," said Watts to Ozma. "I had heard that Oz had a new queen. I am glad to see that you are a kind-looking one."

"Thank you," said Ozma.

"So what can I do for you?" asked Watts, quickly realizing that there had to be some sort of business that had brought the queen to see him.

"Well," began Ozma, not sure just how to begin her explanation, "the Lunechien Forest of Oz has come upon a problem."

"Oh, no!" said Watts. "That's awful! What kind of a problem?"

"It seems that there is a terrible monster that is threatening our fine forest," she began. "A very large spider-like creature."

"Sounds beastly!" shuddered the light bulb.