The Foolish Dictionary Part 16

=LAMP= A light.

=LAMPONED= To be lighted on.

=LARD= Fat.

=LARDER= A fattener.

=LARK= A short, sweet spree enjoyed by night hawks. Also, an early rising singing-bird. (Dist. bet. "out on a lark," and "up with the lark," an impossible combination).

=La.s.sIE= One of the weaker s.e.x.

=La.s.sITUDE= Slightly weaker.

=LAUD= Praise for the Almighty.

=LAUDANUM= Prays for himself--after taking.

=LAUNDRY= A place where clothes are mangled.

=LAUGH= A peculiar contortion of the human countenance, voluntary or involuntary, superinduced by a concatenation of external circ.u.mstances, seen or heard, of a ridiculous, ludicrous, jocose, mirthful, funny, facetious or fanciful nature and accompanied by a cackle, chuckle, chortle, cachinnation, giggle gurgle, guffaw or roar.

=LAWYER= One who defends your estate against an enemy, in order to appropriate it to himself.

=LECTURE= An entertainment at which it costs but little to look intelligent.

=LEGISLATURE=

[Ill.u.s.tration]

From Lat. _lego_, to bring together, and _latro_, to bark or bl.u.s.ter; possibly from _lex_, law, and _latens_, unknown.

Hence, a company of men brought together to bl.u.s.ter, or a company of law makers who know nothing about law.

=LEISURE= From Eng., _lazy_, and _sure_; a.s.sured laziness.

=LENT= A Church fast that is slow to go; or something loaned which is slow to come back.

=LIE= A very poor subst.i.tute for the truth but the only one discovered up to date.

=LIMBURGER= A native of Germany strong enough to do housework; well recommended for cleaning out the dining-room.

=LIBRARY= From Fr. _libre_, meaning free, and proper name =ANDY=.

Something free from Andy Carnegie.

=LINKS= Found in sausages and golf courses, and both full of hazards.

=LION= A cruel beast who never patronizes the barber and is always bearded in his den, yet will furnish a close shave if you get near enough.

=LOBSTER=

[Ill.u.s.tration]

The edible lobster is found off the New England Coast. The two-legged species is found everywhere. All kinds are green, but when roasted turn a bright red. Soubrettes are very dependent on both varieties for a living; together they furnish her with food, raiment, flats, diamonds, and occasionally indigestion.

=LOBSTER-NEWBURG= A dish ordered at hotels by those who usually get beans at home.

=LOVE= A man's insane desire to become a woman's meal-ticket.

=LOVER= An ardent admirer who says, "Yes, dearest, I will shovel the snow of the lake so that we can go skating!" and, after marriage remarks, "What! Shovel the snow off the walk for you?

Well, I should say not! I'm no ch.o.r.e boy."