The Foolish Almanak - novelonlinefull.com
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MAY
Where ignorance is bliss it is blister to be wise.
HOW TO GET RICH
Getting rich is a simple matter if one goes about it right.
If you will deposit one penny in the bank on the first day of the month and double each deposit each day thereafter, until the end of the month (30 days), you will find yourself rich beyond the dreams of avarice. Thus:--
----------------------+--------- DEPOSIT DAYS OF MONTH ----------------------+--------- .01 1 .02 2 .04 3 .08 4 .16 5 .32 6 .64 7 1.28 8 2.56 9 5.12 10 10.24 11 20.48 12 40.96 13 81.92 14 163.84 15 327.68 16 655.36 17 1,310.72 18 2.621.44 19 5,242.88 20 10,485.76 21 20,971.52 22 41,943.04 23 83,886.08 24 167,772.16 25 335,544.32 26 671,088.64 27 1,342,177.28 28 2,684,354.56 29 5,368,709.12 30 -------------- Total, $10,737,418.23
The reason more people do not succeed in this Get-Rich-Quick scheme is that they become discouraged when they get about 75 cents in bank and give it up.
[Sidenote: _Society Hint_: Even if you can't get into "Who's who in America," you can get into the Telephone Book, and it costs lots more.]
[Ill.u.s.tration: Darn that ram.]
SUNDAY
MONDAY (1867) Russia thought she was selling United States a gold brick in Alaska.
(1894) Gold brick proved 24 carat; Russia heartbroken.
TUESDAY
WEDNESDAY (1796) Napoleon weds Josephine, hoping his troubles will be little ones.
(1809) Napoleon divorces Josephine. Great trouble being his troubles were not little ones.
THURSDAY
FRIDAY (1887) Congress pa.s.sed the anti-polygamy bill.
Great anxiety at Newport.
SAt.u.r.dAY
MAY
Beauty may be only skin deep, but the average observer does not see below the skin.
MATERIA MEDICA
When Willie was young he cried for Mayoria.
When Willie grew older he sought Governoria.
When Willie woke up he'd lost his donoria.
Now Willie is dead: they gave him Castoria.
SCHOOLS ADVERTIs.e.m.e.nTS ACADEMIES COLLEGES STUDIOS
[Ill.u.s.tration]
CAN YOU DRAW THIS?
IF SO, YOU CAN DRAW ANYTHING
_MICHAEL ANGELO and C. D. GIBSON_ _make large sums of money drawing pictures_
WHY NOT YOU?
_We teach Drawing by mail and will make_ _you a Great Artist in six easy lessons_
ADDRESS
Imperial Correspondence Inst.i.tute of the Fine Arts
P. O. Box 232323 CHELSEA, Ma.s.s.
[Sidenote: _A Feat in Contortion_: To make both ends meet on $8 per week.]
[Sidenote: _Farm Hint_: Make the sled runners of slippery elm.]
[Ill.u.s.tration]
SUNDAY
MONDAY (1305) Dante's "Inferno" first noted description of h.e.l.l.
(1906) Upton Sinclair's "Jungle" a close second.
TUESDAY
WEDNESDAY (1540) Gomera planned Panama Ca.n.a.l.
