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"The Desire of thine eyes." What a perfect description of a man's absorbing love for a woman. Two months ago, he would not have understood it; but he remembered now how he used to look forward, all the week, to the first sight, on Sunday evening, of the sweet face and queenly head of his Lady of Mystery, in her corner beside the stone pillar. And on Christmas-eve, when he stood in the snow, under the shadow of the old lich-gate, while the footman flashed up the lights in the interior of the car, and her calm loveliness was revealed among the furs. Then these two days of intimacy had shown him so much of vivid charm in that gay, perfect face, as she laughed and talked, or hushed into gentle earnestness. She had talked for so long--he sitting watching her; he knew all her expressive movements; her ways of turning her head quickly, or of lowering her eyelids, and hiding those soft clear eyes.
To-day--this very day--he would see her again; and every anxious cloud would lift, when she heard his decision. Her grateful look would beam upon him.
"The Desire of thine eyes." Yes; it was a truly Divine description of a man's----
Suddenly David sprang to his feet.
"My G.o.d!" he cried; "I love Diana!"
The revelation was overwhelming in its suddenness. Having resolved upon a life of celibacy, his mental att.i.tude towards women had never contemplated the possibility of this. He had stepped fearlessly out into this friendship, at the call of her need, and of his duty. And now----
He stood quite still in the chill silence of the dimly lighted study, and faced the fact.
"I--love--Diana! And, in two weeks, I am to wed Diana. And a few hours afterwards, I am to leave Diana--for ever! 'Son of man, behold I take away from thee the Desire of thine eyes with a stroke.' To sail for Central Africa; and never to look upon her face again--the face of my own wife. 'And at even my wife died.' But my wife will not die," said David. "Thank G.o.d, it is I who bring the offering of myrrh. Because of this that I can do for her, my wife will live, rich, happy, contented, useful. Her home, her wealth, her happy life, will be my gift to her.
But--if Diana knew I loved her, she would never accept this service from me."
David had been pacing the room. He now stood still, leaning his hands on the table, where glimmered the one candle.
"Can I," he said, slowly, asking himself deliberately the question: "Can I carry this thing through, without letting Diana suspect how much more it means to me, than she intends; how much more than it means to her?
Can I wed the Desire of mine eyes in the morning, look my last upon her in the afternoon, and leave her, without her knowing that I love her?"
He asked himself the question, slowly, deliberately, leaning heavily on the study table.
Then he stood erect, his head thrown back, his deep eyes shining, and answered the question with another.
"Is there anything a man cannot do for the woman he loves?" said David Rivers.
He went to the window, drew back the heavy rep curtains, unbarred the shutters, and looked out.
There was, as yet, no sign of dawn, but through the frosty pane, right before him, as a lamp in the purple sky, shone the bright morning star.
Cold though he was, stiff from his long night vigil, David threw up the window-sash, that he might see the star shine clearly, undimmed by frosty fronds, traced on the window-pane.
He dropped on one knee, folding his arms upon the woodwork of the sill.
"My G.o.d," he said, looking upward, his eyes on the morning star; "I thank Thee for light; I thank Thee for love; I thank Thee for the guiding star! I thank Thee, that heavenly love and earthly love can meet, in one bright radiant Ideal. I thank Thee that, expecting nothing in return, I love Diana!"
CHAPTER XII
SUSPENSE
"You old flirt!" laughed Diana. "How many more hearts of men do you contemplate capturing, before you shuffle off this mortal coil? Chappie, you are a hardened old sinner! However, I suppose if one had committed matrimony three times already, one would feel able to continue doing so, with impunity, as many more times as circ.u.mstances allowed. Did poor old Dr. Dapperly actually propose?"
Mrs. Marmaduke Vane smiled complacently, as she put a heaped-up spoonful of whipped cream into her coffee.
"He made his meaning very clear, my dear Diana," she whispered hoa.r.s.ely; "and he held my arm more tightly than was necessary, as he a.s.sisted me to the motor. He remarked that the front steps were slippery; but they were not. A liberal supply of gravel had been placed upon them."
"Had he been having _much_ champagne?" asked Diana. "Oh, no, I remember! It was tea, not dinner. One does not require to hold on to people's arms tightly when going down steps with a liberal supply of gravel on them, after tea. Chappie dear, congratulations! I think it must be a case."
"He made his meaning very clear," repeated Mrs. Vane, helping herself to omelet and mushrooms.
"Isn't it rather hard on G.o.d-papa?" inquired Diana, her eyes dancing.
"I have a great respect for Mr. Goldsworthy," whispered Mrs. Vane, solemnly; "and I should grieve to wound or to disappoint him. But you see--there was Sarah."
"Ah, yes," said Diana; "of course; there was Sarah. And Sarah has G.o.d-papa well in hand."
"She is an impertinent woman," said Mrs. Vane; "and requires keeping in her place."
"Oh, what happened?" cried Diana. "Do tell me, Chappie dear!"
But Mrs. Vane shook her head, rattling her bangles as she attacked a cold pheasant; and declined to tell "what happened."
The morning sun shone brightly in through the oriel window of the pleasant breakfast-room, touching to gold Diana's shining hair, and causing the delicate tracery of frost to vanish quickly from the window-panes.
Breakfast-time, that supreme test of health--mental and physical--always found Diana radiant. She delighted in the beginning of each new day. Her vigorous vitality, reinforced by the night's rest, brought her to breakfast in such overflowing spirits, that Mrs. Vane--who suffered from la.s.situde, and never felt "herself" until after luncheon--would often have found it a trying meal, had she not had the consolations of a bountiful table, and a boundless appet.i.te.
On this particular morning, however, a more observant person might have noted a restless anxiety underlying Diana's gaiety. She glanced often at the clock; looked through her pile of letters, but left them all unopened; gazed long and yearningly at the wide expanse of snowy park, and at the leafless arms of ancient spreading trees; drank several cups of strong coffee, and ate next to nothing.
This was the day which would decide her fate. Before evening she would know whether this lovely and beloved home would remain hers, or whether she must lose all, and go out to face a life of comparative poverty.
If David had taken the nine o'clock train he was now on his way to town, to consult Sir Deryck Brand.
What would be Sir Deryck's opinion? She knew him for a man of many ideals, holding particularly exalted views of marriage and of the relation of man to woman. On the other hand, his judgment was clear and well-balanced; he abhorred morbidness of any kind; his view of the question would not be ecclesiastical; and his very genuine friendship for herself would hold a strong brief in her behalf.
No two men could be more unlike one another than David Rivers and Deryck Brand. They were the two on earth of whom she held the highest opinion.
She trusted both, and knew she might rely implicitly upon the faithful friendship of either. Yet her heart stood still, as she realised that her whole future hung upon the conclusion reached in the conversation to take place, that very morning, between these two men.
She could almost see the consulting room in the doctor's house in Wimpole Street; the doctor's calm strong face, as he listened intently to David's statement of the case. There would be violets on the doctor's table; and his finger-tips would meet very exactly, as he leaned back in his revolving chair.
David would look very thin and slight, in the large armchair, upholstered in dark green leather, which had contained so many anxious bodies, during the process of unfolding and revealing troubled minds.
David would tie himself up in knots, during the conversation. He would cross one thin leg over the other, clasping the uppermost knee with long nervous fingers. The whiteness of his forehead would accentuate the beautiful wavy line of his thick black hair. Sir Deryck would see at once in his eyes that look of the mystic, the enthusiast; and Sir Deryck's commonsense would come down like a sledge-hammer! Ah, G.o.d grant it might come down like a sledge-hammer! Yet, if David had made up his mind, it would take more than a sledge-hammer to bend or to break it.
Mrs. Vane pa.s.sed her cup for more coffee, as she concluded a detailed account of all she had had for tea at Eversleigh, the day before. "And really, my dear Diana," she whispered, "if we could find out where to obtain those scones, it would give us just cause to look forward every day, to half-past four o'clock in the afternoon."
"We _will_ find out," cried Diana, gaily. "Who would miss hours of daily antic.i.p.ation for lack of a little judicious pumping of the households of our friends? We have but to instruct my maid to call upon their cook.
The thing is as good as done! You may embark upon your pleasurable antic.i.p.ations, Chappie.... If I were as stout as you, dear, I should take one spoonful of cream, rather than two.... But, as we are antic.i.p.ating, tell me: What is to become of me, after I have duly been bridesmaid at your wedding? I shall have to advertise for a stately but _plain_ chaperon, who will not be snapped up by all the young sparks of the neighbourhood."
Mrs. Marmaduke Vane's many chains and necklets tinkled with the upheaval of her delighted laughter.
"Foo-foolish girl!" she whispered, spasmodically. "Why, of course, you must get married, too."
"Not I, sir," laughed Diana. "You will not find me importing a lord and master into my own domain. My liberty is too dear unto me. And who but a Rivers, should reign at Riverscourt?"
"Marry your cousin, child," whispered Mrs. Vane, hoa.r.s.ely. "One of your silly objections to marriage is changing your name. Well--marry your cousin, child, and remain Diana Rivers."