The Family Simon: Jack Part 14

Because most of all, Donovan was mad at herself for letting Derek McKenzie, a night gone wrong, and her past control her. She was mad because she'd let someone like Cooper Simon dictate her future.

She thought of what Sabrina had said, and she was ashamed because the woman was right. And because Donovan James was in the 'settling for less' club. h.e.l.l, she was the president of it. Jack Simon was the love of her life and for the first time, she began to question all of her choices. The ones that had led to her breaking it off with him, because she thought it was for the best.

At the time, it had been because she thought it was best for Jack. But really, with the long lens of time behind her, she knew she'd done it because she was a coward, and that it was not so much about Jack as it was about Donovan.

What did that say about herself, that she was willing to throw their love away? Did it mean that her love was so great she was willing to sacrifice all just to save him? Or was it to save herself? And if so, from what?

And what did it say about that night...that night she couldn't exactly remember? The night she'd been so heartbroken over her fight with Jack. The night she'd had more wine than she should have?

The night Derek had taken her to his bed and then taped the whole d.a.m.n thing? He'd used her, and she'd let him.

She groaned, more confused than ever, and slowly made her way up to her bedroom. She undressed and slipped under the covers, not bothering with a nightshirt.

Coco jumped onto the pillow beside her and there beneath the moonlight that streamed in from her window, the little dog was the only one to witness her tears.

Tears for Sabrina, Brett and their kids.

Tears for Jack and what might have been.

Tears for the girl she'd been and the woman she'd become.

It was a long time before she fell asleep. So long that she was aware when Jack came back. He was obviously drunk, and she heard him curse more than once as he banged into things on his way upstairs. She froze when she heard his steps heading not in the direction of his bedroom, but toward hers.

She bit her lip, eyes on the door when she heard him on the other side and she slid up onto her elbows, moistening lips salty from her tears.

"Jack," she whispered, heart suddenly beating out of her chest. She would make things right. She would tell him everything. She would...

But his steps retreated and she jumped when she heard him slam his own door shut.

Donovan James stared into the darkness for so long that everything blurred. Everything melted together and became this thing that was so intimidating she didn't want to think about any of it.

She'd do that tomorrow. Maybe.

Donovan burrowed back into the covers and fell asleep.

Chapter Seventeen.

Jack woke up with one h.e.l.l of a hangover.

s.h.i.t.

And he had no one to blame but himself. The bottle of scotch seemed like such a good idea at the time, but as he stumbled into the shower he was re-evaluating his thought process. His head hurt like h.e.l.l, his mouth was disgusting and the pain that was rolling across his forehead was the kind of pain he'd not felt in a long, long time.

He was too old for this s.h.i.t, and he reminded himself of that again when he caught sight of his bloodshot eyes in the mirror as he was taking care of the disgusting mouth thing.

Outside, the sky was blue and the sun was shining and when he glanced at the clock beside his bed, he swore, his already foul mood, darker. It was later than he would like, and he pulled on a pair of black board shorts, slipped his feet into worn sandals and scooped up a white T-shirt from his suitcase. He was surprised that Harry and Morgan weren't already knocking at his door.

Just thinking of the kids made his gut turn, and he made his way down the stairs, surprised to smell cinnamon-burnt cinnamon but cinnamon nonetheless...

"I guess h.e.l.l froze over when I wasn't looking," he said walking into the kitchen. "You made French toast?"

Donovan was at the sink scrubbing furiously. She didn't answer him, and he crossed the room wincing as a fresh wave of pain kicked around inside his head. Reaching into the cabinet for some pain meds, he grabbed the orange juice container from the fridge and downed the entire thing, taking the pain meds along for the ride.

"You look like s.h.i.t," Donovan said, tossing a green and yellow scrub pad back into the sink.

"Yeah," he replied, eyeing her up. Couldn't say the same about her, because Donovan looked d.a.m.n good.

A pair of jean cut-offs, a plain white T-shirt and the florescent lime green strings peeking out the top were enough to make him pay attention. He wondered if it was the same bikini she'd had in Belize. The one that had d.a.m.n near driven him to distraction.

He took another look. Yep. d.a.m.n good.

Too d.a.m.n good.

"And yes I made some French toast, but I burnt more than I was able to save and even then, well." She threw up her hands. "I have no idea why it's so darn hard to make food. G.o.d, my grams used to make the best biscuits ever and her pie crust? To die for. I have no idea why those particular talents weren't pa.s.sed along to me."

Jack glanced at the pan. He needed grease and he needed it now.

"Have you eaten?"

She shook her head. "Not yet. I was trying to get the stupid pan clean so that I could take another stab at it."

"I'll make us eggs."

"But...I wanted to...I was going to try to..."

"Do we want to starve or eat?"

"Eat," she grumbled.

"Make me a cup of coffee, and I'll get some food into you."

Jack got busy making a couple of omelets. He was the king of eggs and had always found cooking to be a stress reliever. Right now, he only wanted to think about food. He didn't want to dwell on Brett and a future that was never gonna happen. Didn't want to think about a guy who'd been robbed. He didn't want to think about Sabrina and the kids alone.

And he sure as h.e.l.l didn't want to think about Donovan and their own unique situation. f.u.c.king life. It was always throwing curveb.a.l.l.s and not all of them were strikes.

Once he was done, he set a plate down in front of her while she pushed a mug of coffee his way. They ate in silence, and right now it was what he needed. Silence.

His eyes fell on Donovan.

He watched her pick the green peppers out of her omelet and push them to the corner of her plate. h.e.l.l, that was a memory he'd forgotten. Donnie didn't like green. She hated peppers, broccoli, and peas.

An image of Donovan wearing nothing but one of his old Harvard T-shirts, leaning against the counter in his beach house as she picked all the greens off a piece of pizza floated in front of him.

"So your friends seem real nice."

Image gone, he nodded but didn't answer, hating the way he felt. p.i.s.sed off at the way the world looked today.

"And Brett. Have you known him for a long time? I don't recall meeting him when we were...well, before."

He nodded again.

"Is that a yes or a no?" she asked, but the softness had fled her voice.

He glanced up at her, voice gruff. "I've known Brett ever since I've been coming up here."

She was picking at her eggs, moving the green peppers around. "But you didn't know he was sick."

That anger that had been curling in his gut for days exploded and he shoved his plate away. "No, Donnie. I had no idea the guy was as sick as he is. Can we talk about something else?"

Mouth pursed, she ate a bit of her omelet and was quiet for a few moments. But this was Donovan and the woman found it hard to stay quiet for longer than two minutes, something he'd conveniently forgot, it seemed. "So are we heading out in the boat?"

Eyes narrowed, he looked at her sharply. She was kidding right? "I'm taking the kids out on the tube."

"Sounds like fun."

"No," he said abruptly, anger barely in check. He got to his feet. "You can come along for a boat ride, but you're not gonna b.u.mp along the water riding an inner tube as if it was a G.o.dd.a.m.n horse. No way."

Donovan got to her feet and pushed her near empty plate his way. "If I want to go tubing, I'll darn well go tubing."

"Not on my watch." Was she crazy? The woman could be pregnant and she wanted to go tubing? Wasn't that against some kind of pregnant woman rule?

Her eyes flashed and d.a.m.n but that pain in his head wasn't going away anytime soon.

"Did you not listen to anything I said last night?" she snapped.

"What the h.e.l.l are you talking about?" He grabbed their plates and dumped them into the sink.

"What am I talking about?" Her voice rose as did the color in her cheeks. Breathing hard, she glared at him. "Can you please put a shirt on? You don't need to walk around half naked all the time." She tossed his T-shirt at him and he barely had time to catch it.

He was gonna blow. He could feel it coming. With his T-shirt in hand, he watched her, more angry than he could remember feeling in a long time. And that was saying something, considering the last few days hadn't been exactly peaceful.

"You're not tubing," he said through clenched teeth.

"I am, Mr. Simon, and you better pay attention to my rules or I'm outta here. I wasn't joking. In particular, rule number one."

Okay. Jack had to take a moment because if he didn't he was about to go ape s.h.i.t. He felt like c.r.a.p. He'd barely slept. And now Donovan wanted to argue with him about a tubing behind the boat?

He nailed her with a look that would make most men cringe. Except she didn't cringe. In fact, her cheeks were flushed, her eyes shiny and she looked like she was d.a.m.n well enjoying herself.

"f.u.c.k your rules," he said, voice loud and angry. "If you think I'm going to let you b.u.mp around on a tube behind a boat you're crazy."

"Uncle Jack that's a really bad word!"

They both turned to see Harry, Morgan, and Sabrina watching them from just inside the back door. Harry was grinning as if he'd just witnessed something incredibly entertaining. Morgan wasn't exactly sure if she should giggle or be serious and Sabrina...well, Sabrina was looking at the two of them with new eyes.

"That's a whole lot more than a fiver," Harry continued, eyes full of glee as he poked his sister and whispered loud enough for the adults to hear. "Like two fivers at least."

Jack's temper was barely under control. "Sorry guys," he managed to say, slipping his T-shirt over his head.

The kids were already in their swimsuits with their lifejackets in place. The smell of coconut filled his nostrils, and he noted that their skin was slick with sunscreen.

"We should have knocked," Sabrina said, eyes curious as they moved to Donovan and then back to him. "I tried to keep them away, but they've been full of beans since they woke up."

"Don't worry about it," Jack said, forcing a smile he didn't feel. "Who wants to head out on the boat?"

Harry and Morgan jumped up and down, their little faces alive with excitement. "Me! Me! Me!" They both shouted.

"Are you coming?" Morgan asked, her big eyes on Donovan.

Donovan shook her head and though Jack knew she was still p.i.s.sed, she gave the girl a smile that would make anyone feel special.

"No darlin'. I'll join y'all later. I've got some stuff to get done first before I can head down to the beach." She emphasized stuff and gave Jack a f.u.c.k you look. He knew this wasn't over and that he was just buying some time, but for the moment he was fine with that.

"Let's go then," Harry shouted, tugging on his mother's arm and trying to push her toward the door.

"Are you sure?" Sabrina asked, her eyes on Donovan once more.

"We're sure," Jack replied, moving past Donovan and scooping his aviators from the kitchen counter. He slipped them over his eyes and pushed open the door. "You guys coming?"

It wasn't a question he had to ask again. The kids ran out the door yelling all the way down to the dock, and Sabrina followed him out.

"How's Brett this morning?" he asked, eyes on the kids as they galloped across the dock and disappeared into the boathouse.

"Tired," Sabrina replied. "But good. He'll be up for a fire tonight, but right now he's resting. Nine is a late night for him, so last night was tough. He's so glad you guys are here though. He's been so closed off from anyone knowing how bad it is. It's like if no one really knows, then it's not real. You guys give him something positive to focus on, and right now anything positive is great. "

Jack had gotten the entire story from his friend the night before. He knew that Brett's cancer had spread to his pancreas, lungs and liver. His diagnosis was terminal. He'd opted out of further treatment so that he could spend what time he had left with Sabrina and the kids, without suffering the side effects of chemo or radiation.

Everything about the situation was all wrong, but life wasn't always about being right. He thought of his brother, Tucker, and what he'd endured. Life wasn't fair and it sure as h.e.l.l had no rhyme or reason.

Harry and Morgan ran up and down the beach like a couple of crazies, while he and Sabrina worked to get the boat set up for tubing. He'd just filled the tank with gas when Sabrina sat on the edge and lifted an eyebrow.

"So, you wanna tell me what's really going on with you and Donovan?"