The Fading Away of Our Youth (So Young) Vol 2 Chapter 10.2

Chapter 10, 2/2

After playing with Shu Bao for a bit, she showered, opened the window, the evening air blowing onto her face. It was only then Zheng Wei felt that she had revived. When she opened the door and placed the trash bag in front of her door, next to her, Shu Bao, who had had ulterior motives for ages, extraordinarily flexibly slipped away through the half opened door.

“Shu Bao, come back!” Zheng Wei shouted worriedly.

How could the impulsive Shu Bao who had rushed towards freedom hear her shouts now, in the blink of in eye he had already disappeared down the opening off the stairway. Zheng Wei worried that he wouldn’t be able to find the way home, and hurriedly returned to her bedroom and donned a piece of clothing (a jacket or something of the like) before running out.

The apartment buliding Zheng Wei lived in was the complex’s oldest building, although the dorm rooms of Zhong Jian weren’t downtown (where it was very busy), especially the building they lived in, it directly bordered an undeveloped small slope in the back. Weeds were all over the small slope, and Zheng Wei’s greatest worry was that Shu Bao had gotten in there, never able to find him in the darkness again.

Today was about the 15th of the lunar calendar, the moon was big and round, and borrowing the moonlight, Zheng Wei saw Shu Bao’s fat b.u.t.t flitting past the outdoor exercise equiptment in the front. If he ran past the leisure area, he would reach the back hill very quickly. Zheng Wei didn’t dare to think further, calling “Shu Bao Shu Bao” while running over. The leisure area had old-fashioned equipment, and was positioned in a remote place and no one had showed any interest in it for ages. Zheng Wei stood near the horizontal bar, worriedly inspecting the surroundings. When she turned around, a person in the dark corner scared her and she immediately felt her blood run cold. “Who!”

“It’s me……” He said hurriedly, as if he hadn’t imagined he might’ve scared her.

Hearing this sound, the anger in Zheng Wei faded, “What are you doing running here and scaring people for no reason? You’re crazy.”

He joked at himself saying, “At least you stopped calling me a.s.sistant Manager Chen.”

Zheng Wei, frightened, doubtfully took a breath and said, “Don’t tell me you’re here taking a walk.” The company had allocated him to the new 11th dorm, which was built on the prettiest piece of greenery/land of Zhong Jian’s apartment complexes. “You’re so busy, what are you doing here?” She thought her voice was very bland, like she was stating an insignificant thing to an unrelated person. Only after the words had left her mouth did she know they had a bitter, mocking taste that was impossible to get rid of.

He didn’t say anything.

Zheng Wei laughed bitterly, about to continue searching for Shu Bao.

“A lot of times, I was afraid to walk too close, afraid that I might accidentally meet you, but, I was also afraid I would be unable to see the light in your window.”

He was always this way, one foot pushing her into the dust, and still complaining saying, you’re stooping too low, I can’t hear what your saying.

Zheng Wei teasingly said, “Is it because your building project is on the verge of not lacking the slightest difference, so your starting to miss that fun/interesting one centimeter of error?” (that’s…..pretty sad… ;_;)

He remained silent, and didn’t dispute it. Consequently she turned around, “If I hadn’t gone down the stairs, would you have kept standing here
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? Even if you had kept standing here and rooted yourself into the ground, then what? China is so big, you already had your wish fulfilled, coming back in a showy fashion, why did you have to come back to Zhong Jian, even stubbornly choosing Er Fen. Is it that this feeling of returning with lots of glory lets you feel good and successful? But to tell the truth, I really look down on this manner of yours.”

Chen Xiao Zheng said, “Ever since returning from the construction site, human resources asked me, which department do you want to go to the most. In my heart, I thought, anywhere was fine, as long as it wasn’t Er Fen. So when I heard myself say ‘Er Fen’, I couldn’t believe it. From the day I left onwards, I knew that I didn’t have the qualifications to stand by your side, if I could only observe/watch, then getting closer would then be a good thing. I want to see you happy, but I’m also afraid of seeing you happy.”

Lin Jing had been right, Chen Xiao Zheng was actually a person who lacked too much self-confidence (sense of security in oneself). A child who had been forced to grow up, no matter how calm and restrained their composure was, arrogant and n.o.ble, he was still only a child. This child would always do the things they thought were correct, harming others and oneself as a result.

Zheng Wei suddenly remembered what Ruan Ruan had said: I’ve already grown up, he hasn’t yet.

He slowly walked to her side. Zheng Wei was leaning on the horizontal bar, the ice-cold metal bar giving her a prop (to support herself on).

Within the three years, she had imagined this scene a countless number of times, when he was once again sanding in front of her, saying, “Wei Wei… …”

She could have a lot of options, or noncholantly smile lightly, or walk away without looking back. However she had overestimated herself all along, when the scene appeared (for real), she, like all weak women, the only thing that she wanted was to do was to cry.

When she slowly looked down, he slowly closed his eyes, and his breathing was already lingering on her lips. Before she renounced rational thinking (thinking things through, reflecting on them), she thought, right was good, wrong; whatever (like she’s resigning, like “oh never mind its okay), just let him be like this.

But then, everything about it was wrong, the moon was too bright and at the last minute,  she suddenly remembered so many years ago at the quiet basketball court on campus, she had also half-thrown back her head in his arms. That night, the moon had also been this bright. Previously she had said, that would be the brightest light of her life, however she only realized afterwards, no matter how bright the moon is, in the end its still cold light.

“No.” She turned her head away just before the kiss was about to land [on her lips].  Chen Xiao Zheng also awoke from his dream (stupor, when he unconsciously went to kiss her), as if trembling, and abruptly let her go.

She heard the terrible (ugly, bad) sound of a cat meowing, and Zheng Wei immediately followed the sound, Shu Bao was sitting on a patch of gra.s.s not far from them watching them, [his] two eyes in the darkness reflecting light.

She ran over, and he didn’t run away, as if he had tired himself out (from playing), and had been waiting for her to find him from early on.

“Shu Bao, let’s go home.”