The F- It List Part 11

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but he took a thoughtful pause and asked, "Can you go fi rst? I need a minute to think."

"Don't think while I'm talking because then you're not listening."

"Thanks, Mom."

I fl ipped him off pleasantly and said, "I'm getting drinks. You think about your half and half while I get us pop. What do you want?"

"c.o.ke."

I walked behind the counter to the drink fountain. Ila, a gor- geous women's studies major with waist- length strawberry- blond hair, worked the register. "Who's that?" She waggled her eyebrows at me.

I could've been jealous at the thought of not only a college girl, but a beautiful one at that, ogling Leo, but Ila was a lesbian with the cutest girlfriend who, when not going to school full- time, worked as a carpenter.

"That's Leo. From my school."

"Is he your boyfriend?" she asked, completely ignoring the backup of customers. Part of the charm of Cellar.

"No. I don't think so. I don't know what he is. I barely know him, really." I pumped the pop out of the fountain into two worn, plastic tumblers.

"But you want to know him, right?" Ila was overdoing the innu- endo, but I liked the big- sisterly vibe.

"Yes. But I don't know. We'll see. s.h.i.t doesn't seem to work out very well for me lately. Or ever."

"Hopefully this isn't s.h.i.t then." Ila started taking orders again, and I delivered our drinks.

"Thanks," Leo said. "I thought of my halves, unless you want to -1- go fi rst."

0- "After you."

1-

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"My half empty is that my brother is still in Sangin, and my par- ents are constantly terrifi ed. We don't know when he's coming home.

And my mom has these screaming nightmares about it."

"That is half empty. Are you close with your brother?"

"Yeah. I mean, he's kind of the favorite in the family. My parents worship him. He's annoyingly perfect. And I'm the family f.u.c.kup."

"You don't seem like such a f.u.c.kup." I sipped my c.o.ke through the straw.

"You must have heard some things."

"Yeah, but not from you."

"Probably everything you heard was true."

"So you slept with Mrs. Johansen, the chorus teacher with the lazy eye?" I asked agape.

"No," he blurted.

"You've been to jail?"

"No."

"You have a tattoo on your a.s.s that reads, 'Kiss this'?"

"Are you kidding me? Who said that?"

"I just made that up. But that would've been awesome if you did."

"Maybe you can give it to me."

"What do you mean?" I smiled over the straw at the insinuation that I could give him a tattoo.

"Don't you have a homemade one?"

"How did you know that?" I could barely contain the rush of Leo Dietz knowing a private factoid about me.

"I saw it once during gym cla.s.s."

The fact that Leo had watched my thigh at some point during gym cla.s.s almost made me blush. "Anyway, so what rumors about --1 you are true? Have you really been suspended?"

-0 -+1

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"I was suspended last year for busting out Daniel Lum's teeth.

Even though I didn't really mean to do it. What ever, the guy's dad's a dentist," Leo mumbled.

"What else?" I pulsed the c.o.ke through the straw in antic.i.p.ation.

"I was also suspended for having a 'weapon' "- he fi nger quoted-"in my locker, which was bulls.h.i.t because it was a pocket- knife. Boy Scouts are allowed to have them."

"Are you a Boy Scout?" I asked.

"What do you think?"

"How old are you?" I prodded. The rumor was that he was really twenty after being held back twice.

"Twenty- six," he answered. I coughed on my c.o.ke, until he said, "Really? You believed that?"

"What? I don't know you. I mean, for all you know about me, I could be a serial killer."

"I'm counting on it." He smirked. Melt. "And I'm only seventeen."

"So you weren't held back?"

"I was, actually, after we moved. Behavior c.r.a.p. But I had skipped kindergarten because I was so ahead of everyone. So it all balanced out." We both nodded, and he said, "What about you?"

"I'm seventeen. No skipping or going back."

"I meant your half empty."

"Oh yeah." I wasn't sure what to say, if I wanted to get into Becca's cancer. But he was honest with me, and I didn't have to go into great detail. Not that I had many details. "My half empty is that my best friend has cancer. And she started treatment today, and I don't -1- know what's going to happen or if she'll live or die or when I get to see 0- her or talk to her or if she'll live or die and I know I just said that-"

1-

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I ner vous ly lifted my straw in and out of my cup, willing myself to hold it together.

"Jesus, Alex, I had no idea. That sucks. That's like gla.s.s almost completely empty. s.h.i.t. I thought you were going to say something about your dad, but, d.a.m.n. I don't really know what to say. Sorry is such a loaded word."

"Thank you for not saying that."

"Alex!" Doug yelled from the kitchen. "Get your a.s.s back in here! I have to take a p.i.s.s!"

"Fine dining, it is not," I noted to Leo.

We stood up and took our baskets to the garbage. "I guess it's just half empty today." I frowned.

"I'll do my half full really quickly. I got to have dinner with you.

And I got a free drink, too."

"You can pay me when I give you your a.s.s tattoo," I told him dryly. I dumped the contents of my basket into the garbage and gave a little wave to Leo. "Have a good night," I said, feeling awkward that I didn't know quite how to say good- bye. I didn't have to know.

Leo held my face in his oversize hands and pressed his lips to mine.

He was such a good, powerful kisser, I involuntarily hummed with plea sure as I kissed him back, standing on tiptoe as he leaned down to meet me. I gripped the front of his t-shirt with a tight fi st to steady myself. The kiss wasn't long, but it was enough to make me wobble back to my spot in the kitchen after Leo uttered, "Good- bye, pickle breath."

I think I found my half full.

--1 -0 -+1

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