The Exception: A Novel Part 46

She hears Iben turn and walk away.

Camilla knows that she deserves everything shes getting. They are right to punish her. She has been lying, and it has slowed the search for the man who is threatening to kill Iben. What if Iben is killed, or one of the others, just because Camilla hasnt told the truth? Camilla is still sitting with her face in her hands when she hears Ibens voice through the open door.

Iben is telling the others about her discovery. I phoned Ljiljana Peric. Thats the woman who went to the same high school as Zigic. Remember I interviewed her for my article about him? Through her I got the name of a Belgrade journalist who knows Dragan but is now too scared to write a word about either him or Zigic. The journalist says that, without any doubt, Dragan is involved in drug trafficking, prost.i.tution, and kidnapping. That can mean only one thing: the Mafia.

Iben raises her voice to make sure that Camilla wont miss a word. I have written about Dragans senior officer during the war. And Dragan was her boyfriend. Its not necessarily Zigic who killed Rasmus; it could just as well have been Dragan. He could have sent the e-mails. And broken into the office before we got the CCTV installed.

Even if Camilla hadnt already been hypersensitive about bullying, working at the DCIG would have been enough. The way they used to treat Anne-Lise was totally uncalled for. Hundreds of times Camilla had wanted to help, but when she tried to be pleasant toward Anne-Lise, Iben and Malene would start hara.s.sing her. And, after all, she had to share an office with them, had to be a good team player to make the office run smoothly.

Once she had spoken up and said that they should treat their new colleague with a little more consideration. Malene had replied, But Camilla, dont you realize its different for Iben and me? Were old friends. Anne-Lise is just someone who works in the same place as us.

It was as if they had no idea of the harm their behavior caused, or the effect it might have in the long run. Camilla knew. She had seen enough. Almost every day Anne-Lise retreated to the back of the library, behind the East European collection.

Anne-Lise hadnt been with them long before Camilla began to feel she could no longer look her in the eye. She decided to mention it to Paul. She remembers well how it went.

Paul, Im not sure that Anne-Lise is settling in. Could you talk to her? Maybe theres something we could do, something to help her?

Why do you think she isnt happy?

During the coffee break I thought that she mightve been crying, because her eyes seemed bloodshot and she was flushed.

Come on, Camilla! Havent you noticed that she looks like that all the time? Its probably something to do with her skin, I suppose.

He was on his way out. Camilla returned to her work and tried to be lighthearted while Iben and Malene poked fun at everything. But now Iben and Anne-Lise are chatting away in the library while Malene is struggling to find a way to cope on her own.

At lunchtime Iben is still going on to Anne-Lise about Dragan. Camilla doesnt feel like saying anything. She still doesnt feel very well and eats her celery sticks in tiny bites.

No one around the lunch table is her old self. Anne-Lise is the only one who looks pleased. Malene is trying to open a pack of rye toasts but fumbles and the whole thing slips from her hands. It falls to the floor and several slices break. No one bothers to make a little joke to make her feel better. No one calls her clumsy either. They simply stay silent.

It wasnt until Camilla was an adult that she learned the main secret of survival. Its simple. When someone is angry, you stand aside to allow the persons anger to pa.s.s and hit the next one in line. She only wishes she had realized this many, many years earlier. This past year, the next in line has been Anne-Lise. Now it seems to be Malene.

Malene picks up the most damaged slice of toast. She tries to show concern at the new information Iben has discovered about Dragan. Instead, she just looks lost.

Camilla cant deny that, one way or another, shes pleased to see Malene cut down to size. For one thing, she cant stand the way Malene dresses, with her low-slung hipsters and s.e.xy short tops all completely unsuitable for the office.

Malene is chewing a sandwich. Camilla can see some cheese and bread sticking in between Malenes teeth when she opens her mouth to speak.

You know, I cant help wondering what else youve been lying to us about.

Shes so transparent! Malene is hoping for approval from Iben and Anne-Lise.

n.o.body responds.

Right. Wed better be good.

Shes still trying hard to sound like her old self, but even that stock comment strikes a false note. Usually they get up and return to their desks, but not this time. Iben and Anne-Lise are not done eating. Only after several minutes does Anne-Lise pull her chair back. Iben follows her at once. And Camilla does too.

After lunch Camilla starts comparing a selection of Scandinavian hotels. The DCIG is planning to host a small inter-Nordic seminar. Paul has asked her to make a list of the relative advantages and drawbacks of each as well as their prices so that he can make an informed decision. When he finally turns up, that is. She struggles with numbers and foreign-exchange rates. Meanwhile the Centers users keep phoning.

In the midst of everything, Malene is pestering her. Obviously when Malene failed to win the others over by picking on her, she realized her only chance was for the two of them to join forces. So now Camilla hasnt had a peaceful moment all afternoon because Malene keeps coming over to have a chat about this or that TV shows, or gossip about the board or the users.

Camilla replies as briefly as she can to Malenes chatter and keeps staring at the hotel details on her screen. At least its satisfying to have a handle on their tricks and know how to protect herself.

When Camilla goes off to fetch a new box of labels from the storeroom, Malene soon turns up.

Camilla, I want you to know something. Its quite important if youre to understand how Iben reacts to things.

By now Camilla is determined to ignore everything Malene says. She pretends to look for something inside one of the shelving units, but Malene continues: Iben had to be treated by psychiatrists when she was nineteen years old. She isnt anywhere near as stable as she makes out. Back then she was much angrier and much more anxious than she is now. She actually wandered about in the streets with a knife strapped to her leg. Until they started treating her, that is.

Camilla turns to look at Malene.

You know, it could be Iben who has ident.i.ty problems, she continues. A split personality, if you like. What if shes the one who sent the e-mails? Maybe she cant face who she really is and thats driving her against the two of us?

What Malene is also implying is that Iben could have been the one who poured oil over the steps in Malenes staircase and removed the railing in front of the large window. She just doesnt say so.

Camilla cant get away from the fact that there might be something in what Malene is telling her. Its true that once or twice Camilla has noticed a strange bulge on the inside of Ibens leg. Could it be that Iben has a knife tied to her leg all the time? Is she on the brink of becoming paranoid? And dangerously aggressive as well? Perhaps she has been ill for a long time.

After Malenes revelations, Camilla finds a bit of research to do in the library. Pa.s.sing behind Iben, she wants to see if there is still a bulge somewhere on Ibens legs and get a glimpse of what Iben has been frantically writing about all this week, between her calls to Yugoslavia and giving Camilla a hard time.

Camilla discovers its impossible to spot any telltale lumps under Ibens clothing, and every time Camilla walks by, Iben closes the doc.u.ment window. For the last couple of days Iben has been printing out something almost every hour, which is what she typically does when she is writing one of her long articles for Genocide News. But as far as Camilla knows, Iben isnt scheduled to send in another article any time soon.

Ibens fervor makes Camilla nervous. Maybe shes making up a blanket of lies about Camilla and Dragan to show Paul when he comes back. What else could it be? Has Iben ferreted out more about them? Is she going to get Camilla fired?

Camilla cant look through Ibens wastepaper basket for printed pages, but in the evening the cleaners sometimes tip the contents of their baskets into the huge bag in the printer room. She goes to have a look. The container is full. Perhaps papers from the previous day are still there.

The door of the printer room doesnt lock. What if someone comes in and finds her burrowing in the black bag full of other peoples waste? Whats her story then?

Camilla cannot think of one. She stands still and listens. Not a sound, no approaching steps or voices. But who says she would hear anything? Camilla peeks outside. Just then, Iben looks up from her screen. Camilla smiles stiffly. No response. Iben doesnt smile back, just carries on writing.

Camilla closes the door and gets on with her search. The first layer is made up of wrappers from books that arrived for Anne-Lise this morning, and the next one is reams of database printouts. Then, almost at the bottom, Camilla finds the contents of yesterdays wastepaper baskets. Just as she had hoped.

She leafs through several bundles of printed pages without taking them out of the bag. Then she digs deeper. At the very bottom of the waste there are small pieces of torn-up paper. Someone has taken the trouble to tear up her work before throwing it away. Camilla takes some of the largest fragments over to the window and begins to read: CHOLOGY VIL IX.

We are rats! Experimental rats. Only condemned run in the labyrinth after social psycho laws we dont know.

She puts five more pieces together on the windowsill.

y interes gan when I once read in a newspaper abou vestigation into traffic in a parking area. People took longer to get out of their slot if another car was waiting to park there. Men left their places much faster if the waiting car was a high-prestige brand. Women were indifferent to the brand and to the presumed cost of the waiting car. None of the drivers knew that they were acting according to these rules. They just did what they did. We are all predictable. We are rats.

Camilla doesnt doubt for a second that its Iben who has written this. She cannot think what it has to do with herself or Dragan. The remaining bits are too small to make sense of: murderers among us who dont acknowle Gunnar some time in the future Camilla dives into the bag again. Plastic ties and edges of cardboard poke into her armpit. But this time, when she backs out she has a whole handful of torn pieces. Some of them seem to form a text, which she rea.s.sembles on the windowsill.

LOGY EVIL X.

was also what Primo Levi wrote about the harsh ween prisoners when he was in Auschwitz: It is naive, absurd, and historically false to believe that an infernal system such as National Socialism sanctifies its victims; on the contrary, it degrades them, it makes them resemble itself.

The style of these fragments suggests an academic article, but it doesnt seem likely that Iben is writing it for Genocide News or the DCIG Web site. Its so incoherent and repet.i.tive.

We are slaves of predicta errible! We are nothing but rats! How could a human break out of being In the Winter Garden she hears the others calling out: Hi, Paul!

Paul, h.e.l.lo! There you are!

Then Pauls voice, loud and cheerful. Party time!

Camilla hurriedly hides her bits of paper under two boxes and runs out to meet him.

Everyone is there. Paul has stopped just inside the front door. He is grinning broadly and waving a bottle of champagne. Volunteers, please! Wholl get the gla.s.ses?

But the women are so curious that none of them wants to leave.

Hey, Malene! Could you get five gla.s.ses from the kitchen?

And then he starts telling them what has happened.

Frederik has left the board! Thats one obstacle to our survival out of the way!

Iben has to ask: Hes gone? But Paul pats her shoulder and replies before she can finish her question. Thats right, Im in no position to vote him off. Neither is anyone else, not even Ole. The only way was for him to resign.

Anne-Lise chips in. He did? And we thought that it might be you who Ole Laughing, Paul interrupts her. Yes, but he cant. If Im not here as the leader, theres no state funding for the Center. Seems that Ole forgot that momentarily.

Anne-Lise, who is standing behind Iben, moves up a little. Paul, what do you An old friend of mine is a spokesman for this sector in the party that holds the deciding vote. And the DCIG receives its grant on his say-so. Or not.

Iben catches on quickly and starts laughing too. You have a friend who I see! Of course you do!

Anne-Lise is not satisfied. Which party is that?

Paul leans on Malenes desk. Anne-Lise, guess!

Your old friend is an MP for the Danish Peoples Party? That racist lot?

Paul smiles proudly. Yep. Thats right.

Then he notices the look on her face. Whatever were doing here, were doing it to serve our cause. Thats all that matters.

I see. But what happens now?

We carry on as usual. But now we have a new trophy to add to our collection. And the risk that well be put under the DIHR is a little less imminent.

Malene returns with the gla.s.ses and tries to catch up. And Frederik, what about him? Is he going to put up with Oles decision to let you stay?

No. That he will not do.

Malene looks around to catch someones eye. Arent Frederik and Ole friends anymore? Is he leaving the board?

Paul begins to twist the champagne cork. Malene, thats exactly why were celebrating!

The cork pops and shoots off to land high up on a shelf. Camilla glances at Iben. If she hadnt seen her anger this morning, or heard the story about her past, or read the fragments from her article well, she wouldve thought Iben was quite normal. Every time Paul says something meant to be funny, Iben laughs longer and louder than usual. She sounds as if shes been at the bottle already. Camilla sips her champagne and curses the day she first allowed Dragan into her life. Years have pa.s.sed since she learned all the things that Iben has now found out about him. When she looks back at the men in her life, she is so grateful to Finn. After Dragan, marrying someone like Finn is the best choice she could ever have made.

Malene hasnt touched her champagne and seems uneasy. Paul, weve been so worried about you. And about the Center too. About all of us. You vanished so suddenly, and then we thought maybe Ole would try and Paul watches the bubbles in his gla.s.s, tilting it gently sideways to top it up. I was thinking about all of you too, Malene. But the situation turned out to be more complicated than Id thought because a group of politicians had just left on a fact-finding trip to Iraq. So I couldnt meet with the people I needed to see not until they returned. I hadnt antic.i.p.ated that.

When he finishes pouring his champagne, his eyes meet Malenes. And if the board is to work together as a team, Ole couldnt have the chance to say the wrong things to me or to send me a letter hed only regret later. Everything had to be put on hold.

Iben has more questions. Paul, when you said you hadnt antic.i.p.ated it, do you mean ? You know, when Gunnar was here and Ole turned up by chance? Did you plan it all along?

Paul raises his gla.s.s to her and beams. Strictly off the record.

Camilla stays silent. Her attention is slipping. The office atmosphere is suddenly so excitable and she realizes now what a relief it is to have read Ibens jottings, with not a mention of Camilla or Dragan anywhere. She sighs and takes a hearty sip from her gla.s.s.

Iben has insisted, day in and day out, that Camilla is lying. But now it seems certain that Iben knows no more about Camillas past than what she has already announced.

Camilla goes to sit in her own chair. She feels very tired now. It would be a dream if this new, jovial Paul told them to take the day off, but of course he wont. He pours everyone more champagne and splashes some on his black jacket. It doesnt seem to worry him. Hes on a high.

I shouldve bought another bottle!

Malenes gla.s.s is still full, but Iben and Anne-Lise want more.

How can he miss the way everything has changed while he was away?

He raises his gla.s.s in another toast. The third one, at least. Malene, this celebration is for you too! None of you need to worry anymore. Our Center has a future. We are stronger than ever. This is a good day for genocide studies!

iben.

chapter 48.

it all starts without a sign of anything out of the ordinary.

A woman professor from Missouri is speaking to Iben on the phone.

In my view we overcomplicate the process leading to genocide. Fundamentally, its straightforward. Once a population group sees advantages in killing off another group, it triggers a sequence of psychological mechanisms. Gradually, suitable adjustments are made in the groups ideology. History is revised accordingly. Highly charged public debates will emerge spontaneously and, step by step, theyll develop the intellectual rationale for extermination.

In the end, the stark truth is that members of one group murder members of another. The only possibility of stopping them is if the world community demonstrates that it is keeping an eye on the situation and isnt going to condone any criminal activity.

Iben objects, but only to keep the discussion going. Actually, shes so fed up with her own arguments, which sound naive and kind of Danish, that she almost looks forward to being contradicted. The professor obliges.

You know, with hindsight everyone notices the falsification of history in the lead-up to genocide, the ideology and so on, and decides that this must have been what did it. But just examine the genocides youre more familiar with and youll see that, when alls said and done, the perpetrators are driven by egoism every time. Never mind the cover stories they use to convince themselves or the world at large. Or their victims.

Later that day Iben feels nauseous and shaky. Shes definitely not well and takes two aspirin, even though she cant identify any aches or pains.

The Genocide News issue on Turkey has been badly delayed by the upsets of the last few days. She must try to concentrate. Even so, an hour before the end of the working day she cant stand sitting there any longer. She must get home.

This anxiety is no stranger to her she recognizes it from when she was nineteen and suffered a breakdown: her body seizing up as if she has caught a dreadful illness, but nothing hurts.