The Dust of Conflict Part 33

He did not know how long he lay there, but it was very late when he rose with a little shiver and went back into the hall, where he wrote a note.

"Tell John to ride over with that early to-morrow morning, and ask Miss Wayne for an answer," he said to the servant, who wondered at his face, and then walked slowly with hopelessness in his very pose towards his room, where, as it happened, he slept heavily until late next morning.

The next day, however, brought him further misery, for his perceptions were clearer now, and the difficulties he must meet more apparent, while he had also a horrible suspense to struggle with when the man he had sent with the note brought him an answer. It was very brief: "I will try to see you this evening."

Somehow the day dragged through, and Tony was glad when at last he left Northrop as darkness came, for the uncertainty was growing insupportable. It was, however, Mrs. Wayne who greeted him when he reached her house, and she looked at him gravely without shaking hands.

"Yes," she said, answering his unspoken question, "Violet has told me, and it is she who must decide. She will come down in a minute or two."

Tony was weak, but he had now the courage of hopelessness, and he met the lady's eyes.

"I will not try to influence her, madam, and can only thank you for allowing me to speak to her," he said.

Mrs. Wayne made no answer, but opened the door of a lighted room, and Tony, who sat down, waited for what seemed an interminable time until Violet came in. There was a curious hardness in her eyes, and her face was pale, so pale that it had an ivory gleam in the soft light, which the bronzy cl.u.s.ters of warm-tinted hair emphasized, but she was dressed with more than her accustomed taste, and held herself very straight.

Tony rose when he saw her.

"I was almost afraid you would not see me," he said.

The girl sank into the chair he drew out, and he stood in front of her, with the hand he rested on the table trembling a little.

"I am not sure that it was wise," she said. "In a case like this one can only say nothing-or too much."

"I could bear the latter more easily," said Tony. "You know what I have done. We must have an understanding now."

His voice was hoa.r.s.e, but it was even, and Violet Wayne regarded him with dispa.s.sionate interest. Tony, it seemed, had risen in his desperation, and his face was, as she had never seen it, set and almost grim.

"Then," she said quietly, "you have no excuse to make-nothing to urge in extenuation?"

"No. It is all true. There was only my love for you-and you must feel that a humiliation now."

Violet Wayne made a little gesture of weariness. "Tony," she said, "I don't quite catch your meaning, and we must speak plainly to-night."

"Well," said the man, in a voice that was curiously expressionless, "you heard Miss Harding's story. She was very fair-about Lucy Davidson-but you can realize how difficult it is for me to go into that?"

A trace of color crept into Violet Wayne's face, but her eyes were fixed upon her companion as she said slowly, "Still, I think it is necessary."

"Then I gave the girl a brooch-and once or twice talked nonsense with her-but it went no further. I can only give you my word for that-and n.o.body would blame you if you could not credit it. Her father did not, and I could not let you hear the story he built up."

Violet's face was faintly flushed with anger now. "That," she said, "is the one thing I could never forgive you, Tony. I know it is a trifle by comparison, but it hurts the most, and would have killed the confidence that would have drawn us together. You were afraid I would not believe you?"

"Yes, I was afraid."

The girl's anger seemed to melt away, and left her face pale again, while it was with a curious wistfulness she answered him.

"I evidently expected too much, but if you had told me I would have believed you had everybody testified your guilt," she said. "Can't you understand that love without confidence is a worthless thing-and that had you trusted me I would have borne any suspicion or obloquy with you?"

Her voice broke, but there was once more a faintly scornful ring in it when after a few moments' silence she spoke again. "But you were afraid- afraid to trust me! Oh, it is almost unendurable!"

Tony stood still looking at her, with his heart throbbing painfully and vague wonder in his eyes. Then he moved forward with swift impulsiveness as though he would have flung himself upon his knees beside her chair, but she checked him with a gesture. Still, he stooped and laid a quivering hand upon her shoulder.

"I might have known," he said. "If I had had the courage you would have saved me from everything, but is it too late now? I did it because I loved you, Violet-and you will give me the chance to redeem myself. You can't destroy my last hope by casting me off?"

The girl looked up at him wearily. "A little more restraint, Tony. What has been done can never be undone-and I want to face the position quietly. Last night I struggled with the horror and bitterness of it, and one needs calmness now. We can never reopen the subject again."

Tony moved away from her, and once more leaned upon the table. His susceptibilities were curiously dulled, but still her coldness stung him like the lash of a whip, for he could see the contempt beneath it and could more easily have borne scathing reproaches.

"Well," he said very slowly, "nothing can happen to me that I have not deserved. I make no defence."

He saw the little gleam in the girl's eyes, and there was something in her face which suggested faint approbation.

"I promised to marry you-and that carries an obligation, but you destroyed the love I had for you," she said.

"It would be a very hard thing, but I can give you that promise back. I haven't fallen quite so far that I would take you when you have only contempt for me. I have done wrong, but there may be a faint chance left me, in spite of my worthlessness. Is it quite out of the question that I should redeem the past?"

Violet sat motionless for the s.p.a.ce of several minutes, and Tony felt the throbbing of his heart as he watched her. Then she said very slowly, "I cannot see my duty-and so it would be presumption to show you yours, but I am not the person you have wronged most grievously."

"No. You mean Bernard Appleby? Well, it would be almost too much to expect you to believe in me again; but I can, at least, show you I am sorry for what I have done-and if I brought him back-"

The girl slowly shook her head. "I can make no promise now," she said.

"Still, you would wish me to make it right with him?" and Tony stood still looking at her with a faint gleam of hope in his eyes.

"Not because I wish it, Tony. Can't you realize that you must make him reparation?"

Tony slowly straightened himself, but his face was quietly resolute.

"Yes," he said. "I wonder if Miss Harding will tell me where he is? I am going to Cuba. Of course, it can never give me back your esteem. That I threw away-but perhaps as the days go by you will not think of me so bitterly. You will try? That is all I can ask for in the meanwhile."

Violet rose, outwardly very calm and cold, though her heart was throbbing painfully. There was something in the man's face she had never seen there before, and though he spoke very quietly the little thrill in his voice was not without its effect on her.

"I think Miss Harding is here now," she said. "She asked if she might come, and I fancied I heard her voice a little while ago, but I do not know if she will tell you. I am glad you are going, Tony."

Tony looked down on her gravely, with a curious wistfulness in his eyes, and then, before she quite grasped his intentions, laid his hands on her shoulders and kissed her cheeks.

"My only excuse is that I may never see you again," he said. "If Miss Harding will not tell me I will find him myself. I leave for London to- morrow, and go straight to Havana. I will not come back to England unless Bernard Appleby comes with me."

He turned abruptly, as though he feared his resolution might fail him, and it was not until Violet heard the door swing to behind him that she realized she was alone. A minute or two later he was shown into a room where Hester Earle sat with Nettie Harding, and smiled a little when he saw the latter's heightened color.

"I have come to ask you a favor, Miss Harding," he said. "I want you to tell me where to find Bernard Appleby."

"Why?" said the girl chillingly.

Tony made a little deprecatory gesture. "I deserve your suspicions, but I think you can trust me," he said. "I want to repair the wrong I did him, and bring him back to England."

Nettie looked at him steadily, though her face was flushed. "I don't know that he will come," she said. "He has a good deal to do there-and he has good friends in America."

Tony smiled curiously. "I was not asking you to do Appleby a kindness. I was thinking of myself."

Nettie appeared to understand him, for she took out a card and scribbled across it.