The Dramatist; or Stop Him Who Can! Part 16

_Mari._ Nay--where are you going?

_Louisa._ Alas! any where to avoid him--farewell! and may you enjoy that happiness I have for ever lost! [_Exit._

_Mari._ Poor dear girl! I mustn't leave her thus--Mr Vapid, we won't run away till something is done for her.

_Vapid._ Go,--there's a good girl--follow her, and comfort her.

_Mari._ I will--Lord! if they must be happy in being friends again, what must I be who make them so! [_Exit._

_Vapid._ The picture before me! all from nature,--I must heighten his distress, for contrast is every thing--Peter, not a word for your life.

_Enter NEVILLE._

_Nev._ Vapid, I am glad to see you--any letter from my brother?

[_To PETER._

_Peter._ None, sir.

_Nev._ Nor message?

_Peter._ No, sir.

_Nev._ Then I need doubt no longer--'tis evident he avoids me--cruel, ungenerous Floriville!-- [_Seats himself._

_Vapid._ [_Leaning over his Chair._] Miss Courtney will never see you again.

_Nev._ I know it--too well I know it--that, and that alone, makes me determined to leave this country for ever.

_Vapid._ You are unhappy then?

_Nev._ Completely so.

_Vapid._ Then stop.--[_Sits by him._] She was an angel, Harry.

_Nev._ Ay, a divinity!

_Vapid._ And then to lose her!

_Nev._ [_Rising._] 'Sdeath!--don't torment me!--my griefs are already beyond bearing.

_Vapid._ It will do--he's as unhappy as I could wish.

_Peter._ I can hold no longer--sir!

_Vapid._ Hush!--you d--d dog, you'll ruin the catastrophe.

_Peter._ I don't care--I'll tell him every thing--sir!--Mr Neville!

_Vapid._ You villain!--Do you ever go to a play?--did you ever sit in the gallery?

_Peter._ Yes, sir, sometimes.

_Vapid._ Then know this is all for your good----you'll applaud it some day or other, you dog--curse it, won't he have happiness enough bye and bye?---What--you are going abroad, Neville?

_Nev._ Yes, for ever.--Farewell, Vapid.

_Vapid._ Farewell, Neville--good night----Now for the effect!--Miss Courtney is in the next room.

_Nev._ What!

_Vapid._ Miss Courtney is in the next room.

_Nev._ Louisa! is it possible?

_Vapid._ There's light and shade!--Yes, your brother brought her here, and she expects him to return every moment.

_Nev._ My brother! then 'tis he means to marry her--nay, perhaps they are already married--Heavens! I shall go wild!

_Vapid._ Don't, don't go wild--that will ruin the denouement.

_Nev._ No matter--I am resolved--I'll bid her farewell for ever--Vapid, 'tis the last favour I shall ask of you--give her this, [_A Letter._]

and tell her, since I have resented Willoughby's attack on her honour, I think I may be allowed to vindicate my own; tell her, great as have been my faults, my truth has still been greater, and wherever I wander--

_Vapid._ Here's a flourish, now!--why you misunderstand--she is not married, nor going to be married.

_Nev._ Come, this is no time for raillery.

_Vapid._ Raillery!--why, I'm serious--serious as the fifth act--she is now weeping on your account.

_Nev._ Pr'ythee leave fooling, it will produce no effect, believe me.

_Vapid._ Won't it? it will produce a very great effect though, believe me. Zounds! go to her--preserve the unity of action,--marry her directly, and if the catastrophe does not conclude with spirit, d.a.m.n my comedy--d.a.m.n my comedy--that's all, d.a.m.n my comedy.

_Nev._ 'Would to Heaven you were in earnest!

_Vapid._ Earnest! why there it is now! the women, dear creatures, are always ready enough to produce effect--but the men are so curst undramatic.--Go to her, I tell you, go to her.

[_Exit NEVILLE.--VAPID stands aside._

_Enter LORD SCRATCH and FLORIVILLE._

_Lord._ That curst dramatic maniac,--if I see him again----

_Flor._ My dear uncle, consent to Harry's marriage, and depend on it he shall trouble you no more.

_Lord._ I tell you again, sir, I will not.

_Flor._ Will you give any hopes of future consent?