The Dramatic Works of Gerhart Hauptmann Volume I Part 170

Missis, there ain't a soul as knows what that was. I knows it. I just ran home, blind.... couldn't see nothin'! I didn't know nothin' no more o'

G.o.d or the world. I just kept pantin' for air! An' then there I lay--like a dead person on the bed. They rubbed me with towels an' they brushed me with brushes, an' sprayed camphor all over me an' such stuff! Then I came back to life.

MRS. FIELITZ

How many hundreds o' times has you been tellin' me that? I knows, Rauchhaupt, that you went off o' your head. Well, what about that? Look at me! My hair didn't get no blacker from that there business; I didn't get no stronger from it neither. Who's worse off right now--you or me?

That's what I'd like to know. You got your health; you're lookin'

prosperous! An' me? What am I to-day? An' how does I look? Well, then, what more d'you want?--I dreamed o' my own funeral, already!--What do you want more'n that? I ain't goin' to bother n.o.body much longer. There ain't much good to be got by houndin' me!... An' that's the truth.--An' anyhow, you're a foolish kind o' a man, Rauchhaupt. You're so crazy, n.o.body wouldn't hardly believe it. First you was always wantin' to get rid o'

the boy ...

RAUCHHAUPT

Oh, you don't know Gustav, that you don't! What that there boy could do when I had him ... an' the way he was kind to children an' such like! An'

the way he c'n sing! An' the thoughts he's got in his head! That there time when he ran away from the asylum, he went an' he sat down in front o' the church where he was always listenin' to the bells, an' there he sat reel still, waitin'. You ought to ha' seen the boy then, Mrs.

Fielitz, the way all that shows in his face. That's somethin'! Only thing is, he can't get it out the way the likes o' us c'n do it.

MRS. FIELITZ

Rauchhaupt, I had worse things 'n that. Yes. I lost a boy--an' he was the best thing I had in this world. Well, you see? You c'n go an' stare at me now! My life--it ain't been no joke neither.--Go right on starin' at me!

Maybe you'll lose your taste for this kind o' thing the way you did onct before.

RAUCHHAUPT

Mrs. Fielitz, I'm a peaceable man, but that there ... I'm peaceable, Missis. I never liked bein' a constable, but ...

MRS. FIELITZ

Well, then! Everybody knows that! On that very account! An' now there ain't n.o.body as bad as you! You're actin' like a reg'lar bloodhound! Why?

You've always been as good as gold, Rauchhaupt! Every child in the place knows that! An' now, what's all this about?--You c'n go an' open one o'

them there bottles. Why shouldn't we go an' drink a bit o' a drop together? [_RAUCHHAUPT wipes his eyes and then walks across to draw the cork of one of the bottles._]--Fightin' c'n begin again afterwards. I s'ppose life ain't no different from that.--An' we can't change it. There ain't nothin' but foolishness around. An' when you want to go an' open people's eyes--you can't do it! Foolishness--that's what rules this world.--What are we: you an' me an' all of us? We has had to go worryin'

and workin' all our lives--every one of us has! Well, then! We ought to know how things reely is! If you don't join the scramble--you're lazy: if you do--you're bad.--An' everythin' we does get, we gets out o' the dirt.

People like us has to turn their hands to anythin'! An' they, they tells you: be good, be good! How? What chanct has we got? But no, we don't even live in peace with each other.--I wanted to get on--that's true. An'

ain't it natural? We all wants to get out o' this here mud in which we all fights an' scratches around ... Out o' it ... away from it ... higher up, if you wants to call it that ... Is it true as you're wantin' to move away from here, Rauchhaupt?

RAUCHHAUPT

Yes, Mrs. Fielitz, I been havin' that in my mind. An' why? Dr. Boxer an'

me, we knows why. [_He groans sorrowfully._] It ain't only on account o'

my wantin' to be nearer to Gustav. No, no! I don't feel well in this here neighbourhood no more. Everybody looks at me kind o' queer nowadays.

[_The bottle has now been uncorked and RAUCHHAUPT fills two gla.s.ses._

MRS. FIELITZ

That's another thing. Why does we care what people think?

RAUCHHAUPT

No, no! When a man has done what I has--that's different. When a man's gone that length--an' a former officer at that--that he's gone an' taken a rope an' tried.... I don't understand, Missis, I don't understand how I could ha' done that.--But they cut me down ... that they did.

[_He drinks._

MRS. FIELITZ

Is it reely true what people says about it?

RAUCHHAUPT

You see, it got out, an' people knows! An' that--me bein' a former officer--when I think o' that! No, no rain an' no wind can't wash that blot off o' me.

[_He drinks._

MRS. FIELITZ

I say: let's drink to our health. I don't care about people nor what they thinks.--But if, maybe, you do want to sell some day--who knows?... I c'n talk to Schmarowski. You two might agree.

_DR. BOXER, EDE and LEONTINE enter._

DR. BOXER

You're having a very jolly time here, Mrs. Fielitz.

MRS. FIELITZ

Just to-day. It's an exception; that it is!

EDE

Young lady! Hey, there! You want to see somethin'? Langheinrich is dancin' around on the church-steeple!

_MRS. FIELITZ rises with difficulty and looks out._

LEONTINE

I can't bear to look at things like that even.

EDE

Let him fall! He won't fall nowhere but on his feet; he's just like a cat.

DR. BOXER

[_Softly and half-humorously threatening RAUCHHAUPT._] Stop exciting my patient all the time. A deuce of a lot of good all my doctoring will do then!

MRS. FIELITZ

You c'n leave the man be, Doctor. People has put him up to things.

Otherwise he's the best feller in the world.