The Donovan Dynasty: Bind Part 6

"Into it? I wouldn't say that." He waited, choosing his words with great care, moving slowly. It was crucial she understood this and what it meant. He knew that might take time, and he was willing to be as patient as required. "I'm a Dominant. It isn't something I'm into. It's part of who I am. A part of my personality."

"And you'd expect..." She trailed off.

"That you'd be my submissive?" he finished. "Yes."

She started again. "You'd want..."

"I would."

Her earlier poise had worn off, and her breathing was ragged. This was what he liked. Women who were honest. "Tell me what you know about it," he prompted.

She stalled before saying, "This doesn't seem to be the right time or place for this discussion."

"I'm happy to move it to my house. Or yours."

"How about a coffee shop or restaurant?" she suggested. "Where we're not totally alone."

He shook his head. "You'd be free to leave at any time if you're uncomfortable, or to ask me to go."

"On second thought, your office is fine."

"So tell me what your understanding is."

"I know what the initials mean."

When she'd first arrived, her voice had been confident, made so by her rehea.r.s.ed speech. But now... Her words were more carefully s.p.a.ced, and her voice was a bit higher pitched, as if her vocal cords were stressed. She was real, more open, perhaps feeling a bit vulnerable.

"And I've had a little experience, well, maybe not what you'd consider experience."

He waited.

"I dated a guy who used a flogger on me. Once he used a blindfold. He tied my wrists together with some rope."

He slowly sat back. "Anything else?"

"A spanking, over his knees." She fidgeted, a trait he found charming.

"What were your thoughts about the experience?"

She finished the coffee that had to be cold by now. He let her stall for as long as she needed.

"The whole thing?" she asked finally. "Or just the spanking?"

"The whole thing."

"It was fine."

"Those are d.a.m.ning words."

"To be honest, I was disappointed. I didn't understand what all the fuss was about. I liked the blindfold and having my hands secured, but the flogger d.a.m.n well hurt. If there was supposed to be any pleasure, I never experienced it. And when I was over his knee, I'm afraid I had an attack of the giggles."

Another answer Connor hadn't been expecting.

After sliding the mug back onto the coaster, she met his gaze. "Maybe I was hoping for something more. When he spanked me hard enough to stop the giggles, it freaking stung."

"I imagine it was supposed to," he said wryly.

"Other than feeling the pain, I came away with nothing. Afterward we had s.e.x, but-" Abruptly, she stopped talking.

"We have to talk openly."

"Even if it's embarra.s.sing?"

"Especially then."

"How did I know you were going to say that?" She crossed her arms over her chest and held onto her shoulders. Then, obviously realizing she was betraying herself, she lowered her arms. "I expected more from the s.e.x, I guess, but it was the same old thing." Her face was a lovely shade of pink. "Missionary. Over too soon. After that relationship, I dated another guy and things were... I'm trying to be polite."

"Go on."

"I guess the best word for it is predictable."

"Boring?"

"Boring," she repeated. "I asked him if we could experiment a little. When I told him what I wanted, he tried. He tied me up, but the knots were so loose that I could slip my hands out. It sort of lost something when I had to work to keep them in place. He placed a tie over my eyes, and that was as close as he got to a blindfold. When I asked him to spank me, he untied me and told me I was too extreme for him. He seemed really disturbed by it, and I never saw him again. The last guy I dated...well, let's say there was no chemistry."

He wasn't sure what to think of a man who had a willing woman in his arms and didn't attempt to give her what she wanted, whether he was into it or not. "I can guarantee that I will be willing to at least talk about anything you want to try. We'll have plenty of discussions about that." Connor saw her shudder. From thrill, he hoped. "Have you ever been to a club? A play party?"

She shook her head and he caught the glitter of an earring. For a wild, wicked moment, he wanted to see his initials there, in diamonds. "Is there anything you wanted to experience?"

She hesitated, and he waited. Finally, she tipped back her head. "When I m.a.s.t.u.r.b.a.t.e, I think about a man's belt."

"I think we could arrange that."

"I might hate it. It could ruin the fantasy."

"It could," he agreed. "And it could make it even better. Anything else?"

"You're asking a lot of questions, Mr. Donovan. Tell me about you, what it is you think I need to know."

"As I mentioned, BDSM isn't something I'm merely into. Kinky s.e.x like you're suggesting is fine. Awesome, in fact. I definitely enjoy it. I'd love to see your body spread wide, held open for me. But I see that as an extension of a relationship rather than replacing it."

"I'm a bit confused. I thought it was all about the tying up and beating."

"To some people, it is. And that's fine. To me, it's much, much more. Tell me, do you consider yourself compa.s.sionate?"

She blinked. "Of course."

"Loyal to your family and friends?"

"Naturally."

"Someone who likes chocolate?"

"Adores it," she said, softly, as if it were a confession. "And pizza."

That little bit of information, he hung onto. "They're part of who you are."

"Yes."

"The D/s dynamic is the same thing to me. I can't separate it from my personality. Nurturer. Protector. Dominant."

"That sounds a bit scary."

"It doesn't have to be. In fact, I'd insist you have a safe word, a way to immediately stop anything we were doing. You'd also have a word to slow things down, whether to give you a break or to reconnect emotionally or just to talk about how you're doing."

"I'm not used to hearing men use the word emotional."

"It's part of a real relationship," he said. "I may not be as good at recognizing my emotions as you are yours, but I do have them, I promise you."

She gave him a soft smile, and he recognized that they'd had a small connection. He-they-could build from there.

She looked out of the window for a few seconds, in silence. When she glanced back, a thoughtful frown was burrowed between her dark eyebrows. "So if we were to marry... You'd expect..." She squirmed a little. "You'd want to spank me? Blindfold me? Tie me up?"

"All that, yes. We'd talk about which you were comfortable with, find your limits. But it goes beyond that for me."

"Beyond it, how?"

So she was curious. Considering it, at least. "I'd expect that, while we were married, you would be my wife, but also my submissive."

"Isn't that synonymous with servant? Slave? Yes-man? I'm not a puppet for anyone," she said, scooting her chair back a little, putting distance between them. "I can't be. I refuse to be."

"I wouldn't expect that." He kept his voice easy, moderated. "It's clear that you're intelligent as well as brave. I wouldn't want anything less."

"Do you ever have...I don't know how to put this. Regular s.e.x?"

"Regular?"

"You know. Wham-bam. Wipe up with a tissue and you're done?"

"No," he said bluntly.

"Not ever? No quickies? Something where we can just get it over with?"

"Lara, I'm not sure what kind of s.e.x you've been having, but I promise you, you won't want to just get it over with."

"That sounds a little overconfident."

He smiled. "I don't think so. I will be so focused on you that you'll want it to go on and on."

She laced her fingers in her lap, as if unsure what to do with them. "It's clear that I don't have any idea what it would mean to be a submissive or whether I'd like it or not. Like you said, whether it's part of my personality."

"We'll also talk about that, all of it. I'll let you know my expectations, requirements."

"And what about mine?"

He took her, her challenge-her tilted chin and narrowed eyes-very seriously. He recognized she was a novice, and f.u.c.k, he had to admit that it appealed to him. He hadn't had a serious relationship since his father had pa.s.sed. Until Lara, he hadn't even been attracted to anyone.

Recently, he'd gone to a local club with his friends Reece and Sarah. Julien Bonds had flown in to meet them. While Connor had enjoyed being there, he hadn't scened. Without a relationship, it was s.e.xy, but not significant.

Watching Reece flog Sarah had made him restless. The two had seemed unaware of anyone else, and the way Reece had interacted with her, even carrying her to a comfort couch for her aftercare, had spoken of an intimacy that was missing in his own life. "No doubt you will have needs," he agreed finally. "I would do anything in my power to meet them."

"That doesn't sound very Dom-like."

He grinned. "Be that as it may, taking care of a sub gives me fulfillment." When she didn't say anything, he continued, "To me, D/s relationships are different from others on many levels, and they require tremendous trust. I will work to ensure that I deserve your trust by honoring my word, letting you know what to expect and never taking you further than you're comfortable with or have agreed to go."

After pausing for a moment, he added, "I will be the Dom you need, the Dom you require, the Dom you want. In return, I expect you to accord me your respect and utter loyalty, at home as well as in public. I don't antic.i.p.ate that you'd agree with me on all matters, but I would demand that we handle disagreements discreetly. Details of our relationship would remain between us. Always. As part of our prenuptial, you would agree that there would be no tell-all book. No interviews with the press."

"If you even think such a thing, Mr. Donovan-"

"I leave nothing to chance, Ms. Bertrand, not when it comes to my family. I expect you're the same way and that's why you approached me."

She gave a nod, slow, as if reluctant.

"That said, I promise you I would be a patient Dom and honorable husband. I even know how to do laundry and load the dishwasher."

"All that?"

"And I give excellent foot rubs."

A delicate flush stained her cheeks. That was another thing he hadn't expected. The contradiction between sophistication and innocence ensnared him.

For a moment, the tension eased.

Then, as he waited, it grew again.

"You were right when you said I had no idea what I was suggesting when I came to you with my proposal."

"It's a lot to take in," he agreed. "You're free to leave and think about it. Or perhaps you'd like a taste of what you'd be in for as my wife, my sub?"

"What are you suggesting?"

"That you give me the chance to tantalize you. To see if it might be in your personality. After that, if you still want to pursue the possibility of getting married, we'll set up another meeting outside of work, where we'll have adequate time to talk about details and get more intimately acquainted."

She hesitated.

He didn't push. But d.a.m.n, part of him hoped, really hoped she was interested enough to accept his challenge. And he admitted he wanted to touch her, make her respond to him.

"I feel like I've entered a maze. This is a bit of a mind f.u.c.k."