The Diary and Letters of Madame D'Arblay Volume Ii Part 7

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had no easy task in keeping them from being incommoded by the pressing of the people. They stopped to converse with these n.o.ble travellers for more than an hour. Madame la d.u.c.h.esse de Polignac is a very well-looking woman, and Madame de Guiche is very pretty. There were other ladies and gentlemen in their party. But I was much amused by their dress, which they meant should be entirely 'a l'Angloise--for which purpose they had put on plain undress gowns, with close ordinary black silk bonnets! I am sure they must have been quite confused when they saw the queen and princesses, with their ladies, who were all dressed with uncommon care, and very splendidly.

But I was glad, at least, they should all witness, and report, the reconciliation of the king and the Prince of Wales, who frequently spoke together, and were both in good spirits.

COLONEL MANNERS' MUSICAL ACCOMPLISHMENTS.

Miss Port and myself had, afterwards, an extremely risible evening with Colonels Goldsworthy, Wellbred, and Manners the rest were summoned away to the king, or retired to their own apartments. Colonel Wellbred began the sport, undesignedly, by telling me something new relative to Dr. Herschel's volcanoes.

This was enough for Colonel Manners, who declared aloud his utter contempt for such pretended discoveries. He was deaf to all that could be said in answer, and protested he wondered how any man of common sense could ever listen to such a pack of stuff.

Mr. de Luc's opinion upon the subject being then mentioned--he exclaimed, very disdainfully, "O, as to Mr. de Luc, he's another man for a system himself, and I'd no more trust him than anybody: if you was only to make a little bonfire, and put it upon a hill a little way off, you might make him take it for a volcano directly!--And Herschel's not a bit better. Those sort of philosophers are the easiest taken in in the world."

Our next topic was still more ludicrous. Colonel Manners asked me if I had not heard something, very harmonious at church in the morning? I answered I was too far off, if he meant from himself.

"Yes," said he; "I was singing with Colonel Wellbred; and he said he was my second.--How did I do that song?"

"Song?--Mercy!" exclaimed Colonel Goldsworthy, "a song at church!--why it was the 104th Psalm!"

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"But how did I do it, Wellbred; for I never tried at it before?"

"why--pretty well," answered Colonel Wellbred, very composedly; "Only now and then you run me a little into 'G.o.d save the king.'"

This dryness discomposed every muscle but of Colonel Manners, who replied, with great simplicity, "Why, that's because that's the tune I know best!"

"At least," cried I, "'twas a happy mistake to make so near their majesties."

"But: pray, now, Colonel Wellbred, tell me sincerely)--could you really make out what I was singing?"

"O yes," answered Colonel Wellbred; "with the words."

"Well, but pray, now, what do you call my voice?"

"Why--a--a--a counter-tenor."

"Well, and is that a good voice?"

There was no resisting,-even the quiet Colonel Wellbred could not resist laughing out here. But Colonel Manners, quite at his ease, continued his self-discussion.

"I do think, now, if I was to have a person to play over a thing to me again and again, and then let me sing it, and stop me every time I was wrong, I do think I should be able to sing 'G.o.d save the king' as well as some ladies do, that have always people to show them."

"You have a good chance then here," cried I, "of singing some pieces of Handel, for I am sure you hear them again and again!"

"Yes, but that is not the thing for though I hear them do it' so often over, they don't stop for me to sing it after them, and then to set me right. Now I'll try if you'll know what this is."

He then began humming aloud, "My soul praise," etc., so very horribly, that I really found all decorum at an end, and laughed, with Miss Port, 'a qui mieux mieux. Too much engaged to mind this, he very innocently, when he had done, applied to us all round for our opinions.

Miss Port begged him to sing another, and asked for that he had spouted the other day, "Care, thou bane of love and joy."

He instantly complied; and went on, in such shocking, discordant and unmeaning sounds, that nothing in a farce could be more risible: in defiance however of all interruptions, he Continued till he had finished one stanza; when Colonel Goldsworthy loudly called out,--"There,--there's enough!--have mercy!"

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"Well, then, now I'll try something else."

"O, no!" cried Colonel Goldsworthy, hastily, "thank you, thank you for this,-but I won't trouble you for more--I'll not bear another word."

Colonel Wellbred then, with an affected seriousness, begged to know, since he took to singing, what he should do for a shake, which was absolutely indispensable.

"A shake?" he repeated, "what do you mean?"

"Why--a shake with the voice, such as singers make."

"Why, how must I do it?"

"O, really, I cannot tell you."

"Why, then, I'll try myself--is it so?"

And he began such a harsh hoa.r.s.e noise, that Colonel Goldsworthy exclaimed, between every other sound,--"No, no,--no more!" While Colonel Wellbred professed teaching him, and gave such ridiculous lessons and directions,-now to stop short, now to swell,-now to sink the voice, etc., etc., that, between the master and the scholar, we were almost demolished.

MRS. SCHWELLENBERG'S "LUMP OF LEATHER."

Tuesday, June 19.-We were scarcely all arranged at tea when Colonel Manners eagerly said, "Pray, Mrs. Schwellenberg, have you lost anything?"

"Me?--no, not I

"No?--what, nothing?"

"Not I!"

"Well, then, that's very odd! for I found something that had your name writ upon it."

"My name? and where did you find that?"

"Why--it was something I found in my bed."

"In your bed?--O, very well! that is reelly comeecal?"

"And pray what was it?" cried Miss Port.

"Why--a great large, clumsy lump of leather."

"Of leadder, sir?--of leadder? What was that for me?"