The Covent Garden Theatre Part 9

Pas.

The whole City of Westminster; By whom, Sir, amongst many others, You are Presented as a Nusance.

Gentlemen, I have a Pet.i.tion here, in my hand, against him and several others, that will raise the utmost Indignation in every hones Breast-- Which, with leave of the Audience, I will read. Is it Your Pleasure that I shou'd read it.

Omn.

Ay, ay, read it, read it.

To his most Equitable & Satyrical Worship, Seignior Pasquin. Censor of Great Britain.

The humble Pet.i.tion of Lord Love-Play, in Behalf of Himself and many others.

Sheweth.

"That your Pet.i.tioners were, by Descent, the lawful Inheritors of very great Fortunes; But, by the Arts and Combinations of the Noted Hunt-Bubble, and the Knot-- And, by what is commonly called Playing all the Game, Your Pet.i.tioners have been stript of their large Possessions to the utter Ruin of themselves and their distressed Families.

"That your Pet.i.tioners, who once made the most Splendid Appearance at New Market, Whites, Georges, Bath, Tunbridge, and all Public Places, are now in the most deplorable Condition.

"From these Premises, Your Pet.i.tionors humbly pray that Your Equitable Worship will take their distress'd State into Consideration, and Decree such Redress as to Your Satyrical Worship shall seem meet--

"And your bubbled Pet.i.tioners shall ever pray."

Com.

Mr. Pasquin, your bringing such Men to Iustice, is a Public good, and deserves Public Thanks. They are Charactors that all Men destest, and that all Men wish to See punish'd.

Pas.

Sir you don't know half the Villany of these Men. Play, in its most Honourable Commerce, is a pernicious Vice, but as Luxury, Fashion and Avarice, have improved it all over Europe, It is now become an avow'd System of Fraud and Ruin. The virtuous and Honourable, who Scorn Advantage, are a constant Prey to the vicious and dishonourable, who never Play without one. nor does the Vice Stop here: For the Sharper having Stript his Bubble of his Estate, he next Corrupts his Mind, by making him a Decoy-Duck, in Order to retrieve his Fortune as he lost It.

And, from an indegent Virtuous Bubble, the n.o.ble Youth becomes an Affluent vicious Sharper.

Com.

The Observation, is but too true; And it is Pity the _Ligislature_ do not contrive some Speedy Method to put an Effectual Stop to such impious Practices.

Pas.

Thus, instead of Virtue, Honour and n.o.ble Sentiments being Sown in the Minds of Youth they are tainted with Fraud and Treachery; and those, who should be the Support and Ornament of their Country, are the Confederates of Men, who would be a disgrace to the worst of Countries, in its worst of Times.

Omn.

Bravo, bravo, Pasquin, go on, go on [#they Applaud him#]

Smart.

Does he not speak very well Hydra! I think he would make a good Figure at the Robin Hood Society.

Count.

Sr, You grow licentious and Attack the whole Body of n.o.bility. and what you have uttered is a Libell.

Pas.

Sr. it is You that Libel by your Application my Charge is not against any particular Person, Degree, Rank, or Set of Men, but against known Profess'd Sharpers; Who, under the Mask of Honour, Amus.e.m.e.nt and Friendship, dayly Commit Crimes that deserve the Hangman's lash rather than the Satyrist's.

Mar.

Gentlemen, this Invective is most unjust, and as I am Council on the Side of Count Hunt-bubble and Company, I hope you will indulge me a moment, while I explain what the Law of Parna.s.sus is in these Cases.

Omn.

Hear him, hear him, go on, go on.

Mar.

In the Records of that State, the Act of Gaming is not deem'd a Crime, but a Science. For the famous Barron de Frippon, in his Inst.i.tutes, Fol: 1st Chap: 3. P. 17, justly calls it the n.o.ble Science of Defence. which is as necessary to be Study'd by the n.o.bility of ev'ry Nation, as the Small Sword, or the Art of War.

Count.

You are right Marforio-- for Gaming is an Absolute State of War; In which ev'ry Man must kill or be kill'd; Consequently all Advantages are Justified by the Law of Self Defence.

Omn.

Go on Marforio.

Mar.

Gentlemen. The wise Spartans, as an Encouragement to Ingenuity, always reward the thieving Genius, who came off unsuspected, and punish'd the Blockhead who had not Sufficient Art to Conceal his Theft, In Parnussus the Law is the same relating to Frauds in Play; Tho' it is notorious that this Gentleman has Play'd the best of the Game a thousand times, yet it does not Appear that he has ever been detected in a fraud.

Count.

Never, but once, I a.s.sure you: and then I instantly Challeng'd the Man, who charg'd me with it, ran him three times through the Body, disarm'd him, made him beg his Life, and ask my Pardon in Public and ever since no Man has dared to Whisper a Suspicion of me.

Mar.

O it's plain the Gentleman's Character is untainted, and has a Right to Rank as a Man of Honour and a Genius-- and, instead of Censure, is int.i.tled to the Order of the Chevaliers de Aventuries-- with which, Sir, you shall be Strait invested.

Here! Order Sr. Iohn Ketch to attend with the Insignia of Gaming, and let him invest the n.o.ble Count.

Enter Sr. Iohn Ketch, with a Rope and a Dice Box fasten'd to it as a George, and dice in the Box, and a Knave of Diamonds in his Hand.

Sr. Iohn.

Please to kneel Sir [#To Count bubble who kneels#] I, Sr. Iohn Ketch, Knight, and Officer of Parna.s.sus, by Virtue of a Power from Appollo, In Consideration of your Subtle and undetectable deceit in the n.o.ble Science of Defence, vulgarly call'd Sharping, do invest You With these Insignia-- Which are a Ribbon of the Genuin Tyburn garotte, with a Box Pendant, two loaded Dice, and a Knave of Diamonds for a Star; bearing henceforth, the Arms of Gaming, which are, a Pack of Cards in a Green Field; two reoin'd Lords for Supporters, a Cat and nine Tails for a Crest and, I have touch'd them for a motto; So rise up Count Hunt.

bubble, Marquiss of Slip Card, Barron de Pharo-Bank, and Knight of the n.o.ble Order of Sharpors.

Omn.

Bravo, bravo (#all Clap#)

Count.

Seignior Marforio, The Honours you have Conferr'd Me, will bind me Your Friend everlastingly. If you call upon me any Evening at the Bedford, I shall be glad to See you. To night I am engaged to deal at my Lady High-life's;-- His Grace and Miss will be there, and we expect to touch roundly. Yours, Yours

Exit

Omn.

Ha, ha, ha.

Hyd.

An Admiral Reward for his Ingenuity.

Sr. Eter.

Extremely ridiculous I vow; and very Iust.

Pas.

Have you any more Offenders to Produce.

Mar.