The Covent Garden Theatre Part 10

No more-- But here is a Presentment against one Charles Macklin, Comedian, of the Theatre Royal in Covent Garden.

Omn.

Ha, ha, ha, O pray let us hear that.

Pas.

The Substance of it is, That he hath written a strange hotch-potch Farce, and puff'd it upon the Town as written after the manner of Aristophanes and the Pasquinades of the Italian Theatre.-- Gentlemen, This is an Affair entirely Cognizable to the Town; All I can Say upon it is, That, if you Condemn him, I will take Care the Blockhead shall never trouble you again-- In the manner of Aristophanes.

Omn.

Ay, ay, d.a.m.n him, d.a.m.n him.

Omn.

No, no, Save him, save him.

Pas.

Well Gentlemen, since you are divided we must respit Sentence till he appears in Person the next Court day. Gentlemen and Ladies, Our Examinations are over for to Night. We must adjourn, for I am afraid we have detain'd the Town too long.

Hyd.

Mr. Pasquin, You have Satyrized Your Sharpor with great Humour and Propriety. And I like the Choice of several of your Characters very well. But I am afraid the Critics will Condemn Your Piece for want of a Plot

Bob.

Very true, You shou'd have had a Plot Pasquin.

Pas.

Bless me Gentlemen! I am amaz'd at this Criticism. I expected great Approbation for the Newness and Dexterity of my Plot.

Hyd.

Ay! pray what is the Plot?

Pas.

I thought, by this time that it was known to ev'ry Person in the Audience. The Plot Sir, is, the filling of this House-- don't you see how thick it is.

Hyd.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, very well, and now it is unravelled; extremely Clear!

a very good Plott I protest.

Omn.

O very Clear, very clear.

Dia.

But Mr. Pasquin, You have no love, nor Marriage in Your Farce; that is a fault, a very great fault.

Pas.

Madam, I have vast Quant.i.ty of Love in It, as much as wou'd make half a dozen modern Romances; But I was advised, by some Dramatick Friends, not to let it appear too soon. For Love, in a Farce, they said, was generally very dull, and what the English Audience always Complain'd of.

But now we are come to unravel the Plot-- It must be known, that Lady Lucy, Mr. Hydra, Sir Eternal, Miss Brilliant, and all the Characters, have a most Pa.s.sionate Tendre for each other, and have Privately agreed that this shall be the Happy Night. And, as to a Wedding, I have taken particular Care of that, for among the disorderly Persons that were Seized, by mistake, they have taken up a Gentleman that lives near May Fair, who waits in the Green Room to Sign the Pa.s.sport of each loving Pair to The land of Hymen. And this, I think, is as much Love, Plot and Marriage, as is necessary in any Farce.

Hyd.

Upon Honour, I am of your Opinion Mr. Pasquin. And I like your Catastrophes extremely. Mr. Common Sense, what is your Opinion?

Com.

For my part Sir, I am pleased with the whole Piece, and think the Critics, in particular, must approve of it highly; As it is written up to the Strictest Nicety of Dramatic Rules. Against the next Night, Mr.

Pasquin, you must omit, or alter some exceptionable Expressions, And, if you were to prune a few Redundances, the whole Piece wou'd be the better for it.

Pas.

Your Criticism, Mr. Common Sense, is always Iust, and I shall implicitly observe it.

Com.

And now, Mr. Pasquin, the sooner you come to your Peroration the better.

Omn.

Ay, ay, the Peroration, the Peroration-- come, Mount the Rostrum, Mr.

Pasquin. The Rostrum, the Rostrum,-- bring on the Rostrum. bring on the Rostrum!

The Rostrum is brought on.

Pasquin Ascends.

Pas.

Most August, Respectable, and Tremendous Public! whose Power is as uncontrolable as the Boundless Winds, whose Iudgement infalable as opposeless Fate, Whom Party cannot Sway, Fear Intimidate, Flattery influence, nor Interest bya.s.s. You are each in the art of Government, a Lycurgus; in the Art of War, a Caesar; In Criticism an Aristotle; In Eloquence a Tully; In Patronage a Mecenas; In Taste and Elegance, a Patronius.

Hyd.

Harkee, harkee, Domine Pasquin, this Panegerick is quite out of Character, and Shews great Ignorance of the People You are Addressing.

For know Sir, that the British Public has too much Dignity and Sense, either to give, or to recieve, Flattery. Your best way of gaining their Esteem, is by preserving Your Character, to the last, of a General Satyrist my Dear, not. by degenerating to a Public Sycophant.

Pas.

I am afraid Sir, I have been too free of my Satyr already.

Com.

Not at all Sir.-- while it is General and Circ.u.mscribed by decency, it cannot be too strong for the English. For Our Wit, Sir, like Our Courage, knows no danger, Spares no Character.

Bob.

Right, Right-- Dem me, my dear give us Satyr, keen cutting Satyr, that's what Pleases Us-- And as to Your Panegeric, take that to Madrid or Paris.

Com.

Mr. Pasquin, the Public know they have Follies, as well as Individuals; and, so far from being Angry with the Man, who ridicules them, they always reward him with Approbation and Esteem.

Pas: Why then Sir, under the Protection of the Town, and the Patronage of Common Sense, I will, like a faithfull Painter, not a modern Dedicator, finish up the Blemishes as highly as I have the Beauties of my Patron.

Bob.

Ay, now, now for the Town, I should be glad to see our own blind side.

be sure to be Severe, give us no Quarter.

Pas.

I shall not Sir-- You, the Town, are a Monstor, made up of Contrarieties, Caprice Steers-- Steers your Iudgement-- Fashion and Novelty, Your Affections; Sometimes so Splenitic, as to d.a.m.n a Cibber, and, even a Congreve, in the Way of the World;-- And some times so good-Natured as to run in Crowds after a Queen Mab, or a Man in a Bottle.

Hyd.

Why, the Town are a little whimsical sometimes I believe? I beg pardon Mr. Pasquin for breaking in upon You.

Pas.

O no Offence, Sir, the Town has always a right to interrupt, and disturb a Performance. It is their Prerogative, and shews their Taste and their good Breeding