The Constant Couple Part 5

_Colonel S._ Which, since I have gained, I will turn upon the enemy.

Madam, I'll bring you the news of my victory this evening. Poor Sir Harry, ha! ha! ha! [_Exit._

_Lady L._ To the right about as you were; march, Colonel. Ha! ha! ha!

Vain man, who boasts of studied parts and wiles!

Nature in us, your deepest art beguiles, Stamping deep cunning in our frowns and smiles.

You toil for art, your intellects you trace; Woman, without a thought, bears policy in her face. [_Exeunt._

ACT THE SECOND.

SCENE I.

CLINCHER JUNIOR'S _Lodgings_.

_Enter_ CLINCHER JUNIOR, _opening a Letter_; SERVANT _following_.

_Clinch. jun._ [Reads.] _Dear Brother--I will see you presently: I have sent this lad to wait on you; he can instruct you in the fashions of the town. I am your affectionate brother_, CLINCHER.

Very well; and what's your name, sir?

_d.i.c.ky._ My name is d.i.c.ky, sir.

_Clinch. jun._ d.i.c.ky!

_d.i.c.ky._ Ay, d.i.c.ky, sir.

_Clinch. jun._ Very well; a pretty name! And what can you do, Mr. d.i.c.ky?

_d.i.c.ky._ Why, sir, I can powder a wig, and pick up a wh.o.r.e.

_Clinch. jun._ Oh, lord! Oh, lord! a wh.o.r.e! Why, are there many in this town?

_d.i.c.ky._ Ha! ha! ha! many! there's a question, indeed!----Harkye, sir; do you see that woman there, in the pink cloak and white feathers.

_Clinch. jun._ Ay, sir! what then?

_d.i.c.ky._ Why, she shall be at your service in three minutes, as I'm a pimp.

_Clinch. jun._ Oh, Jupiter Ammon! Why, she's a gentlewoman.

_d.i.c.ky._ A gentlewoman! Why so they are all in town, sir.

_Enter_ CLINCHER _senior_.

_Clinch. sen._ Brother, you're welcome to London.

_Clinch. jun._ I thought, brother, you owed so much to the memory of my father, as to wear mourning for his death.

_Clinch. sen._ Why, so I do, fool; I wear this, because I have the estate; and you wear that, because you have not the estate. You have cause to mourn, indeed, brother. Well, brother, I'm glad to see you; fare you well. [_Going._

_Clinch. jun._ Stay, stay, brother.----Where are you going?

_Clinch. sen._ How natural 'tis for a country b.o.o.by to ask impertinent questions!--Harkye, sir; is not my father dead?

_Clinch. jun._ Ay, ay, to my sorrow.

_Clinch. sen._ No matter for that, he's dead; and am not I a young, powdered, extravagant English heir?

_Clinch. jun._ Very right, sir.

_Clinch. sen._ Why then, sir, you may be sure that I am going to the Jubilee, sir.

_Clinch. jun._ Jubilee! What's that?

_Clinch. sen._ Jubilee! Why, the Jubilee is----'Faith I don't know what it is.

_d.i.c.ky._ Why, the Jubilee is the same thing as our Lord Mayor's day in the city; there will be pageants, and squibs, and raree-shows, and all that, sir.

_Clinch. jun._ And must you go so soon, brother?

_Clinch. sen._ Yes, sir; for I must stay a month at Amsterdam, to study poetry.

_Clinch. jun._ Then I suppose, brother, you travel through Muscovy, to learn fashions; don't you, brother?

_Clinch. sen._ Brother! Pr'ythee, Robin, don't call me brother; sir will do every jot as well.

_Clinch. jun._ Oh, Jupiter Ammon! why so?

_Clinch. sen._ Because people will imagine you have a spite at me.--But have you seen your cousin Angelica yet, and her mother, the Lady Darling?

_Clinch. jun._ No; my dancing-master has not been with me yet. How shall I salute them, brother?

_Clinch. sen._ Pshaw! that's easy; 'tis only two sc.r.a.pes, a kiss, and your humble servant. I'll tell you more when I come from the Jubilee.

Come along. [_Exeunt._

[Ill.u.s.tration: SIR HARRY WILDAIR.--HERE IS A NEST OF THE PRETTIEST GOLDFINCHES, THAT EVER CHIRPED IN A CAGE. ACT. II. SCENE. II.]

SCENE II.

LADY DARLING'S _House_.

_Enter_ SIR H. WILDAIR _with a Letter_.