The Complete Works of William Shakespeare Part 542

AENEAS. 'Tis the old Nestor.

HECTOR. Let me embrace thee, good old chronicle, That hast so long walk'd hand in hand with time.

Most reverend Nestor, I am glad to clasp thee.

NESTOR. I would my arms could match thee in contention As they contend with thee in courtesy.

HECTOR. I would they could.

NESTOR. Ha!

By this white beard, I'd fight with thee to-morrow.

Well, welcome, welcome! I have seen the time.

ULYSSES. I wonder now how yonder city stands, When we have here her base and pillar by us.

HECTOR. I know your favour, Lord Ulysses, well.

Ah, sir, there's many a Greek and Troyan dead, Since first I saw yourself and Diomed In Ilion on your Greekish emba.s.sy.

ULYSSES. Sir, I foretold you then what would ensue.

My prophecy is but half his journey yet; For yonder walls, that pertly front your town, Yond towers, whose wanton tops do buss the clouds, Must kiss their own feet.

HECTOR. I must not believe you.

There they stand yet; and modestly I think The fall of every Phrygian stone will cost A drop of Grecian blood. The end crowns all; And that old common arbitrator, Time, Will one day end it.

ULYSSES. So to him we leave it.

Most gentle and most valiant Hector, welcome.

After the General, I beseech you next To feast with me and see me at my tent.

ACHILLES. I shall forestall thee, Lord Ulysses, thou!

Now, Hector, I have fed mine eyes on thee; I have with exact view perus'd thee, Hector, And quoted joint by joint.

HECTOR. Is this Achilles?

ACHILLES. I am Achilles.

HECTOR. Stand fair, I pray thee; let me look on thee.

ACHILLES. Behold thy fill.

HECTOR. Nay, I have done already.

ACHILLES. Thou art too brief. I will the second time, As I would buy thee, view thee limb by limb.

HECTOR. O, like a book of sport thou'lt read me o'er; But there's more in me than thou understand'st.

Why dost thou so oppress me with thine eye?

ACHILLES. Tell me, you heavens, in which part of his body Shall I destroy him? Whether there, or there, or there?

That I may give the local wound a name, And make distinct the very breach whereout Hector's great spirit flew. Answer me, heavens.

HECTOR. It would discredit the blest G.o.ds, proud man, To answer such a question. Stand again.

Think'st thou to catch my life so pleasantly As to prenominate in nice conjecture Where thou wilt hit me dead?

ACHILLES. I tell thee yea.

HECTOR. Wert thou an oracle to tell me so, I'd not believe thee. Henceforth guard thee well; For I'll not kill thee there, nor there, nor there; But, by the forge that st.i.thied Mars his helm, I'll kill thee everywhere, yea, o'er and o'er.

You wisest Grecians, pardon me this brag.

His insolence draws folly from my lips; But I'll endeavour deeds to match these words, Or may I never- AJAX. Do not chafe thee, cousin; And you, Achilles, let these threats alone Till accident or purpose bring you to't.

You may have every day enough of Hector, If you have stomach. The general state, I fear, Can scarce entreat you to be odd with him.

HECTOR. I pray you let us see you in the field; We have had pelting wars since you refus'd The Grecians' cause.

ACHILLES. Dost thou entreat me, Hector?

To-morrow do I meet thee, fell as death; To-night all friends.

HECTOR. Thy hand upon that match.

AGAMEMNON. First, all you peers of Greece, go to my tent; There in the full convive we; afterwards, As Hector's leisure and your bounties shall Concur together, severally entreat him.

Beat loud the tambourines, let the trumpets blow, That this great soldier may his welcome know.

Exeunt all but TROILUS and ULYSSES TROILUS. My Lord Ulysses, tell me, I beseech you, In what place of the field doth Calchas keep?

ULYSSES. At Menelaus' tent, most princely Troilus.

There Diomed doth feast with him to-night, Who neither looks upon the heaven nor earth, But gives all gaze and bent of amorous view On the fair Cressid.

TROILUS. Shall I, sweet lord, be bound to you so much, After we part from Agamemnon's tent, To bring me thither?

ULYSSES. You shall command me, sir.

As gentle tell me of what honour was This Cressida in Troy? Had she no lover there That wails her absence?

TROILUS. O, sir, to such as boasting show their scars A mock is due. Will you walk on, my lord?

She was belov'd, she lov'd; she is, and doth; But still sweet love is food for fortune's tooth. Exeunt

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ACT V. SCENE 1.

The Grecian camp. Before the tent of ACHILLES

Enter ACHILLES and PATROCLUS

ACHILLES. I'll heat his blood with Greekish wine to-night, Which with my scimitar I'll cool to-morrow.

Patroclus, let us feast him to the height.

PATROCLUS. Here comes Thersites.

Enter THERSITES

ACHILLES. How now, thou core of envy!

Thou crusty batch of nature, what's the news?

THERSITES. Why, thou picture of what thou seemest, and idol of idiot worshippers, here's a letter for thee.

ACHILLES. From whence, fragment?

THERSITES. Why, thou full dish of fool, from Troy.

PATROCLUS. Who keeps the tent now?

THERSITES. The surgeon's box or the patient's wound.

PATROCLUS. Well said, Adversity! and what needs these tricks?

THERSITES. Prithee, be silent, boy; I profit not by thy talk; thou art said to be Achilles' male varlet.

PATROCLUS. Male varlet, you rogue! What's that?

THERSITES. Why, his masculine wh.o.r.e. Now, the rotten diseases of the south, the guts-griping ruptures, catarrhs, loads o' gravel in the back, lethargies, cold palsies, raw eyes, dirt-rotten livers, wheezing lungs, bladders full of imposthume, sciaticas, limekilns i' th' palm, incurable bone-ache, and the rivelled fee- simple of the tetter, take and take again such preposterous discoveries!

PATROCLUS. Why, thou d.a.m.nable box of envy, thou, what meanest thou to curse thus?

THERSITES. Do I curse thee?

PATROCLUS. Why, no, you ruinous b.u.t.t; you wh.o.r.eson indistinguishable cur, no.

THERSITES. No! Why art thou, then, exasperate, thou idle immaterial skein of sleid silk, thou green sarcenet flap for a sore eye, thou ta.s.sel of a prodigal's purse, thou? Ah, how the poor world is pest'red with such water-flies-diminutives of nature!

PATROCLUS. Out, gall!

THERSITES. Finch egg!

ACHILLES. My sweet Patroclus, I am thwarted quite From my great purpose in to-morrow's battle.

Here is a letter from Queen Hecuba, A token from her daughter, my fair love, Both taxing me and gaging me to keep An oath that I have sworn. I will not break it.

Fall Greeks; fail fame; honour or go or stay; My major vow lies here, this I'll obey.

Come, come, Thersites, help to trim my tent; This night in banqueting must all be spent.

Away, Patroclus! Exit with PATROCLUS THERSITES. With too much blood and too little brain these two may run mad; but, if with too much brain and to little blood they do, I'll be a curer of madmen. Here's Agamemnon, an honest fellow enough, and one that loves quails, but he has not so much brain as ear-wax; and the goodly transformation of Jupiter there, his brother, the bull, the primitive statue and oblique memorial of cuckolds, a thrifty shoeing-horn in a chain, hanging at his brother's leg-to what form but that he is, should wit larded with malice, and malice forced with wit, turn him to? To an a.s.s, were nothing: he is both a.s.s and ox. To an ox, were nothing: he is both ox and a.s.s. To be a dog, a mule, a cat, a fitchew, a toad, a lizard, an owl, a put-tock, or a herring without a roe, I would not care; but to be Menelaus, I would conspire against destiny.

Ask me not what I would be, if I were not Thersites; for I care not to be the louse of a lazar, so I were not Menelaus. Hey-day!

sprites and fires!

Enter HECTOR, TROILUS, AJAX, AGAMEMNON, ULYSSES, NESTOR, MENELAUS, and DIOMEDES, with lights

AGAMEMNON. We go wrong, we go wrong.

AJAX. No, yonder 'tis; There, where we see the lights.

HECTOR. I trouble you.