The Complete Works of William Shakespeare Part 504

SCENE II.

Before TIMON'S house

Enter FLAVIUS, TIMON'S Steward, with many bills in his hand

FLAVIUS. No care, no stop! So senseless of expense That he will neither know how to maintain it Nor cease his flow of riot; takes no account How things go from him, nor resumes no care Of what is to continue. Never mind Was to be so unwise to be so kind.

What shall be done? He will not hear till feel.

I must be round with him. Now he comes from hunting.

Fie, fie, fie, fie!

Enter CAPHIS, and the SERVANTS Of ISIDORE and VARRO

CAPHIS. Good even, Varro. What, you come for money?

VARRO'S SERVANT. Is't not your business too?

CAPHIS. It is. And yours too, Isidore?

ISIDORE'S SERVANT. It is so.

CAPHIS. Would we were all discharg'd!

VARRO'S SERVANT. I fear it.

CAPHIS. Here comes the lord.

Enter TIMON and his train, with ALCIBIADES

TIMON. So soon as dinner's done we'll forth again, My Alcibiades.- With me? What is your will?

CAPHIS. My lord, here is a note of certain dues.

TIMON. Dues! Whence are you?

CAPHIS. Of Athens here, my lord.

TIMON. Go to my steward.

CAPHIS. Please it your lordship, he hath put me off To the succession of new days this month.

My master is awak'd by great occasion To call upon his own, and humbly prays you That with your other n.o.ble parts you'll suit In giving him his right.

TIMON. Mine honest friend, I prithee but repair to me next morning.

CAPHIS. Nay, good my lord- TIMON. Contain thyself, good friend.

VARRO'S SERVANT. One Varro's servant, my good lord- ISIDORE'S SERVANT. From Isidore: he humbly prays your speedy payment- CAPHIS. If you did know, my lord, my master's wants- VARRO'S SERVANT. 'Twas due on forfeiture, my lord, six weeks and past.

ISIDORE'S SERVANT. Your steward puts me off, my lord; and I am sent expressly to your lordship.

TIMON. Give me breath.

I do beseech you, good my lords, keep on; I'll wait upon you instantly.

Exeunt ALCIBIADES and LORDS [To FLAVIUS] Come hither. Pray you, How goes the world that I am thus encount'red With clamorous demands of date-broke bonds And the detention of long-since-due debts, Against my honour?

FLAVIUS. Please you, gentlemen, The time is unagreeable to this business.

Your importunacy cease till after dinner, That I may make his lordship understand Wherefore you are not paid.

TIMON. Do so, my friends.

See them well entertain'd. Exit FLAVIUS. Pray draw near. Exit

Enter APEMANTUS and FOOL

CAPHIS. Stay, stay, here comes the fool with Apemantus.

Let's ha' some sport with 'em.

VARRO'S SERVANT. Hang him, he'll abuse us!

ISIDORE'S SERVANT. A plague upon him, dog!

VARRO'S SERVANT. How dost, fool?

APEMANTUS. Dost dialogue with thy shadow?

VARRO'S SERVANT. I speak not to thee.

APEMANTUS. No, 'tis to thyself. [To the FOOL] Come away.

ISIDORE'S SERVANT. [To VARRO'S SERVANT] There's the fool hangs on your back already.

APEMANTUS. No, thou stand'st single; th'art not on him yet.

CAPHIS. Where's the fool now?

APEMANTUS. He last ask'd the question. Poor rogues and usurers'

men! Bawds between gold and want!

ALL SERVANTS. What are we, Apemantus?

APEMANTUS. a.s.ses.

ALL SERVANTS. Why?

APEMANTUS. That you ask me what you are, and do not know yourselves. Speak to 'em, fool.

FOOL. How do you, gentlemen?

ALL SERVANTS. Gramercies, good fool. How does your mistress?

FOOL. She's e'en setting on water to scald such chickens as you are. Would we could see you at Corinth!

APEMANTUS. Good! gramercy.

Enter PAGE

FOOL. Look you, here comes my mistress' page.

PAGE. [To the FOOL] Why, how now, Captain? What do you in this wise company? How dost thou, Apemantus?

APEMANTUS. Would I had a rod in my mouth, that I might answer thee profitably!

PAGE. Prithee, Apemantus, read me the superscription of these letters; I know not which is which.

APEMANTUS. Canst not read?

PAGE. No.

APEMANTUS. There will little learning die, then, that day thou art hang'd. This is to Lord Timon; this to Alcibiades. Go; thou wast born a b.a.s.t.a.r.d, and thou't die a bawd.

PAGE. Thou wast whelp'd a dog, and thou shalt famish dog's death.

Answer not: I am gone. Exit PAGE APEMANTUS. E'en so thou outrun'st grace.

Fool, I will go with you to Lord Timon's.

FOOL. Will you leave me there?

APEMANTUS. If Timon stay at home. You three serve three usurers?

ALL SERVANTS. Ay; would they serv'd us!

APEMANTUS. So would I- as good a trick as ever hangman serv'd thief.

FOOL. Are you three usurers' men?

ALL SERVANTS. Ay, fool.

FOOL. I think no usurer but has a fool to his servant. My mistress is one, and I am her fool. When men come to borrow of your masters, they approach sadly and go away merry; but they enter my mistress' house merrily and go away sadly. The reason of this?

VARRO'S SERVANT. I could render one.

APEMANTUS. Do it then, that we may account thee a wh.o.r.emaster and a knave; which notwithstanding, thou shalt be no less esteemed.

VARRO'S SERVANT. What is a wh.o.r.emaster, fool?

FOOL. A fool in good clothes, and something like thee. 'Tis a spirit. Sometime 't appears like a lord; sometime like a lawyer; sometime like a philosopher, with two stones moe than's artificial one. He is very often like a knight; and, generally, in all shapes that man goes up and down in from fourscore to thirteen, this spirit walks in.

VARRO'S SERVANT. Thou art not altogether a fool.

FOOL. Nor thou altogether a wise man.

As much foolery as I have, so much wit thou lack'st.

APEMANTUS. That answer might have become Apemantus.

VARRO'S SERVANT. Aside, aside; here comes Lord Timon.

Re-enter TIMON and FLAVIUS