The Complete Works of William Shakespeare Part 487

TRANIO. Call forth an officer.

Enter one with an OFFICER

Carry this mad knave to the gaol. Father Baptista, I charge you see that he be forthcoming.

VINCENTIO. Carry me to the gaol!

GREMIO. Stay, Officer; he shall not go to prison.

BAPTISTA. Talk not, Signior Gremio; I say he shall go to prison.

GREMIO. Take heed, Signior Baptista, lest you be cony-catch'd in this business; I dare swear this is the right Vincentio.

PEDANT. Swear if thou dar'st.

GREMIO. Nay, I dare not swear it.

TRANIO. Then thou wert best say that I am not Lucentio.

GREMIO. Yes, I know thee to be Signior Lucentio.

BAPTISTA. Away with the dotard; to the gaol with him!

VINCENTIO. Thus strangers may be hal'd and abus'd. O monstrous villain!

Re-enter BIONDELLO, with LUCENTIO and BIANCA

BIONDELLO. O, we are spoil'd; and yonder he is! Deny him, forswear him, or else we are all undone.

Exeunt BIONDELLO, TRANIO, and PEDANT, as fast as may be LUCENTIO. [Kneeling] Pardon, sweet father.

VINCENTIO. Lives my sweet son?

BIANCA. Pardon, dear father.

BAPTISTA. How hast thou offended?

Where is Lucentio?

LUCENTIO. Here's Lucentio, Right son to the right Vincentio, That have by marriage made thy daughter mine, While counterfeit supposes blear'd thine eyne.

GREMIO. Here's packing, with a witness, to deceive us all!

VINCENTIO. Where is that d.a.m.ned villain, Tranio, That fac'd and brav'd me in this matter so?

BAPTISTA. Why, tell me, is not this my Cambio?

BIANCA. Cambio is chang'd into Lucentio.

LUCENTIO. Love wrought these miracles. Bianca's love Made me exchange my state with Tranio, While he did bear my countenance in the town; And happily I have arrived at the last Unto the wished haven of my bliss.

What Tranio did, myself enforc'd him to; Then pardon him, sweet father, for my sake.

VINCENTIO. I'll slit the villain's nose that would have sent me to the gaol.

BAPTISTA. [To LUCENTIO] But do you hear, sir? Have you married my daughter without asking my good will?

VINCENTIO. Fear not, Baptista; we will content you, go to; but I will in to be revenged for this villainy. Exit BAPTISTA. And I to sound the depth of this knavery. Exit LUCENTIO. Look not pale, Bianca; thy father will not frown.

Exeunt LUCENTIO and BIANCA GREMIO. My cake is dough, but I'll in among the rest; Out of hope of all but my share of the feast. Exit KATHERINA. Husband, let's follow to see the end of this ado.

PETRUCHIO. First kiss me, Kate, and we will.

KATHERINA. What, in the midst of the street?

PETRUCHIO. What, art thou asham'd of me?

KATHERINA. No, sir; G.o.d forbid; but asham'd to kiss.

PETRUCHIO. Why, then, let's home again. Come, sirrah, let's away.

KATHERINA. Nay, I will give thee a kiss; now pray thee, love, stay.

PETRUCHIO. Is not this well? Come, my sweet Kate: Better once than never, for never too late. Exeunt

SCENE II.

LUCENTIO'S house

Enter BAPTISTA, VINCENTIO, GREMIO, the PEDANT, LUCENTIO, BIANCA, PETRUCHIO, KATHERINA, HORTENSIO, and WIDOW. The SERVINGMEN with TRANIO, BIONDELLO, and GRUMIO, bringing in a banquet

LUCENTIO. At last, though long, our jarring notes agree; And time it is when raging war is done To smile at scapes and perils overblown.

My fair Bianca, bid my father welcome, While I with self-same kindness welcome thine.

Brother Petruchio, sister Katherina, And thou, Hortensio, with thy loving widow, Feast with the best, and welcome to my house.

My banquet is to close our stomachs up After our great good cheer. Pray you, sit down; For now we sit to chat as well as eat. [They sit]

PETRUCHIO. Nothing but sit and sit, and eat and eat!

BAPTISTA. Padua affords this kindness, son Petruchio.

PETRUCHIO. Padua affords nothing but what is kind.

HORTENSIO. For both our sakes I would that word were true.

PETRUCHIO. Now, for my life, Hortensio fears his widow.

WIDOW. Then never trust me if I be afeard.

PETRUCHIO. YOU are very sensible, and yet you miss my sense: I mean Hortensio is afeard of you.

WIDOW. He that is giddy thinks the world turns round.

PETRUCHIO. Roundly replied.

KATHERINA. Mistress, how mean you that?

WIDOW. Thus I conceive by him.

PETRUCHIO. Conceives by me! How likes Hortensio that?

HORTENSIO. My widow says thus she conceives her tale.

PETRUCHIO. Very well mended. Kiss him for that, good widow.

KATHERINA. 'He that is giddy thinks the world turns round.'

I pray you tell me what you meant by that.

WIDOW. Your husband, being troubled with a shrew, Measures my husband's sorrow by his woe; And now you know my meaning.

KATHERINA. A very mean meaning.

WIDOW. Right, I mean you.

KATHERINA. And I am mean, indeed, respecting you.

PETRUCHIO. To her, Kate!

HORTENSIO. To her, widow!

PETRUCHIO. A hundred marks, my Kate does put her down.

HORTENSIO. That's my office.

PETRUCHIO. Spoke like an officer- ha' to thee, lad.

[Drinks to HORTENSIO]

BAPTISTA. How likes Gremio these quick-witted folks?

GREMIO. Believe me, sir, they b.u.t.t together well.

BIANCA. Head and b.u.t.t! An hasty-witted body Would say your head and b.u.t.t were head and horn.

VINCENTIO. Ay, mistress bride, hath that awakened you?

BIANCA. Ay, but not frighted me; therefore I'll sleep again.

PETRUCHIO. Nay, that you shall not; since you have begun, Have at you for a bitter jest or two.

BIANCA. Am I your bird? I mean to shift my bush, And then pursue me as you draw your bow.

You are welcome all.

Exeunt BIANCA, KATHERINA, and WIDOW PETRUCHIO. She hath prevented me. Here, Signior Tranio, This bird you aim'd at, though you hit her not; Therefore a health to all that shot and miss'd.

TRANIO. O, sir, Lucentio slipp'd me like his greyhound, Which runs himself, and catches for his master.

PETRUCHIO. A good swift simile, but something currish.

TRANIO. 'Tis well, sir, that you hunted for yourself; 'Tis thought your deer does hold you at a bay.

BAPTISTA. O, O, Petruchio! Tranio hits you now.

LUCENTIO. I thank thee for that gird, good Tranio.

HORTENSIO. Confess, confess; hath he not hit you here?

PETRUCHIO. 'A has a little gall'd me, I confess; And, as the jest did glance away from me, 'Tis ten to one it maim'd you two outright.

BAPTISTA. Now, in good sadness, son Petruchio, I think thou hast the veriest shrew of all.

PETRUCHIO. Well, I say no; and therefore, for a.s.surance, Let's each one send unto his wife, And he whose wife is most obedient, To come at first when he doth send for her, Shall win the wager which we will propose.

HORTENSIO. Content. What's the wager?