The Complete Works of William Shakespeare Part 481

This done, he took the bride about the neck, And kiss'd her lips with such a clamorous smack That at the parting all the church did echo.

And I, seeing this, came thence for very shame; And after me, I know, the rout is coming.

Such a mad marriage never was before.

Hark, hark! I hear the minstrels play. [Music plays]

Enter PETRUCHIO, KATHERINA, BIANCA, BAPTISTA, HORTENSIO, GRUMIO, and train

PETRUCHIO. Gentlemen and friends, I thank you for your pains.

I know you think to dine with me to-day, And have prepar'd great store of wedding cheer But so it is- my haste doth call me hence, And therefore here I mean to take my leave.

BAPTISTA. Is't possible you will away to-night?

PETRUCHIO. I must away to-day before night come.

Make it no wonder; if you knew my business, You would entreat me rather go than stay.

And, honest company, I thank you all That have beheld me give away myself To this most patient, sweet, and virtuous wife.

Dine with my father, drink a health to me.

For I must hence; and farewell to you all.

TRANIO. Let us entreat you stay till after dinner.

PETRUCHIO. It may not be.

GREMIO. Let me entreat you.

PETRUCHIO. It cannot be.

KATHERINA. Let me entreat you.

PETRUCHIO. I am content.

KATHERINA. Are you content to stay?

PETRUCHIO. I am content you shall entreat me stay; But yet not stay, entreat me how you can.

KATHERINA. Now, if you love me, stay.

PETRUCHIO. Grumio, my horse.

GRUMIO. Ay, sir, they be ready; the oats have eaten the horses.

KATHERINA. Nay, then, Do what thou canst, I will not go to-day; No, nor to-morrow, not till I please myself.

The door is open, sir; there lies your way; You may be jogging whiles your boots are green; For me, I'll not be gone till I please myself.

'Tis like you'll prove a jolly surly groom That take it on you at the first so roundly.

PETRUCHIO. O Kate, content thee; prithee be not angry.

KATHERINA. I will be angry; what hast thou to do?

Father, be quiet; he shall stay my leisure.

GREMIO. Ay, marry, sir, now it begins to work.

KATHERINA. Gentlemen, forward to the bridal dinner.

I see a woman may be made a fool If she had not a spirit to resist.

PETRUCHIO. They shall go forward, Kate, at thy command.

Obey the bride, you that attend on her; Go to the feast, revel and domineer, Carouse full measure to her maidenhead; Be mad and merry, or go hang yourselves.

But for my bonny Kate, she must with me.

Nay, look not big, nor stamp, nor stare, nor fret; I will be master of what is mine own- She is my goods, my chattels, she is my house, My household stuff, my field, my barn, My horse, my ox, my a.s.s, my any thing, And here she stands; touch her whoever dare; I'll bring mine action on the proudest he That stops my way in Padua. Grumio, Draw forth thy weapon; we are beset with thieves; Rescue thy mistress, if thou be a man.

Fear not, sweet wench; they shall not touch thee, Kate; I'll buckler thee against a million.

Exeunt PETRUCHIO, KATHERINA, and GRUMIO BAPTISTA. Nay, let them go, a couple of quiet ones.

GREMIO. Went they not quickly, I should die with laughing.

TRANIO. Of all mad matches, never was the like.

LUCENTIO. Mistress, what's your opinion of your sister?

BIANCA. That, being mad herself, she's madly mated.

GREMIO. I warrant him, Petruchio is Kated.

BAPTISTA. Neighbours and friends, though bride and bridegroom wants For to supply the places at the table, You know there wants no junkets at the feast.

Lucentio, you shall supply the bridegroom's place; And let Bianca take her sister's room.

TRANIO. Shall sweet Bianca practise how to bride it?

BAPTISTA. She shall, Lucentio. Come, gentlemen, let's go.

Exeunt

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ACT IV. SCENE I.

PETRUCHIO'S country house

Enter GRUMIO

GRUMIO. Fie, fie on all tired jades, on all mad masters, and all foul ways! Was ever man so beaten? Was ever man so ray'd? Was ever man so weary? I am sent before to make a fire, and they are coming after to warm them. Now were not I a little pot and soon hot, my very lips might freeze to my teeth, my tongue to the roof of my mouth, my heart in my belly, ere I should come by a fire to thaw me. But I with blowing the fire shall warm myself; for, considering the weather, a taller man than I will take cold.

Holla, ho! Curtis!

Enter CURTIS

CURTIS. Who is that calls so coldly?

GRUMIO. A piece of ice. If thou doubt it, thou mayst slide from my shoulder to my heel with no greater a run but my head and my neck. A fire, good Curtis.

CURTIS. Is my master and his wife coming, Grumio?

GRUMIO. O, ay, Curtis, ay; and therefore fire, fire; cast on no water.

CURTIS. Is she so hot a shrew as she's reported?

GRUMIO. She was, good Curtis, before this frost; but thou know'st winter tames man, woman, and beast; for it hath tam'd my old master, and my new mistress, and myself, fellow Curtis.

CURTIS. Away, you three-inch fool! I am no beast.

GRUMIO. Am I but three inches? Why, thy horn is a foot, and so long am I at the least. But wilt thou make a fire, or shall I complain on thee to our mistress, whose hand- she being now at hand- thou shalt soon feel, to thy cold comfort, for being slow in thy hot office?

CURTIS. I prithee, good Grumio, tell me how goes the world?

GRUMIO. A cold world, Curtis, in every office but thine; and therefore fire. Do thy duty, and have thy duty, for my master and mistress are almost frozen to death.

CURTIS. There's fire ready; and therefore, good Grumio, the news?

GRUMIO. Why, 'Jack boy! ho, boy!' and as much news as thou wilt.

CURTIS. Come, you are so full of cony-catching!

GRUMIO. Why, therefore, fire; for I have caught extreme cold.

Where's the cook? Is supper ready, the house trimm'd, rushes strew'd, cobwebs swept, the serving-men in their new fustian, their white stockings, and every officer his wedding-garment on?

Be the jacks fair within, the jills fair without, the carpets laid, and everything in order?

CURTIS. All ready; and therefore, I pray thee, news.

GRUMIO. First know my horse is tired; my master and mistress fall'n out.

CURTIS. How?

GRUMIO. Out of their saddles into the dirt; and thereby hangs a tale.

CURTIS. Let's ha't, good Grumio.

GRUMIO. Lend thine ear.

CURTIS. Here.

GRUMIO. There. [Striking him]

CURTIS. This 'tis to feel a tale, not to hear a tale.

GRUMIO. And therefore 'tis call'd a sensible tale; and this cuff was but to knock at your car and beseech list'ning. Now I begin: Imprimis, we came down a foul hill, my master riding behind my mistress- CURTIS. Both of one horse?

GRUMIO. What's that to thee?

CURTIS. Why, a horse.

GRUMIO. Tell thou the tale. But hadst thou not cross'd me, thou shouldst have heard how her horse fell and she under her horse; thou shouldst have heard in how miry a place, how she was bemoil'd, how he left her with the horse upon her, how he beat me because her horse stumbled, how she waded through the dirt to pluck him off me, how he swore, how she pray'd that never pray'd before, how I cried, how the horses ran away, how her bridle was burst, how I lost my crupper- with many things of worthy memory, which now shall die in oblivion, and thou return unexperienc'd to thy grave.

CURTIS. By this reck'ning he is more shrew than she.

GRUMIO. Ay, and that thou and the proudest of you all shall find when he comes home. But what talk I of this? Call forth Nathaniel, Joseph, Nicholas, Philip, Walter, Sugarsop, and the rest; let their heads be sleekly comb'd, their blue coats brush'd and their garters of an indifferent knit; let them curtsy with their left legs, and not presume to touch a hair of my mastcr's horse-tail till they kiss their hands. Are they all ready?