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I gave my love a ring, and made him swear Never to part with it, and here he stands; I dare be sworn for him he would not leave it Nor pluck it from his finger for the wealth That the world masters. Now, in faith, Gratiano, You give your wife too unkind a cause of grief; An 'twere to me, I should be mad at it.
Ba.s.sANIO. [Aside] Why, I were best to cut my left hand off, And swear I lost the ring defending it.
GRATIANO. My Lord Ba.s.sanio gave his ring away Unto the judge that begg'd it, and indeed Deserv'd it too; and then the boy, his clerk, That took some pains in writing, he begg'd mine; And neither man nor master would take aught But the two rings.
PORTIA. What ring gave you, my lord?
Not that, I hope, which you receiv'd of me.
Ba.s.sANIO. If I could add a lie unto a fault, I would deny it; but you see my finger Hath not the ring upon it; it is gone.
PORTIA. Even so void is your false heart of truth; By heaven, I will ne'er come in your bed Until I see the ring.
NERISSA. Nor I in yours Till I again see mine.
Ba.s.sANIO. Sweet Portia, If you did know to whom I gave the ring, If you did know for whom I gave the ring, And would conceive for what I gave the ring, And how unwillingly I left the ring, When nought would be accepted but the ring, You would abate the strength of your displeasure.
PORTIA. If you had known the virtue of the ring, Or half her worthiness that gave the ring, Or your own honour to contain the ring, You would not then have parted with the ring.
What man is there so much unreasonable, If you had pleas'd to have defended it With any terms of zeal, wanted the modesty To urge the thing held as a ceremony?
Nerissa teaches me what to believe: I'll die for't but some woman had the ring.
Ba.s.sANIO. No, by my honour, madam, by my soul, No woman had it, but a civil doctor, Which did refuse three thousand ducats of me, And begg'd the ring; the which I did deny him, And suffer'd him to go displeas'd away- Even he that had held up the very life Of my dear friend. What should I say, sweet lady?
I was enforc'd to send it after him; I was beset with shame and courtesy; My honour would not let ingrat.i.tude So much besmear it. Pardon me, good lady; For by these blessed candles of the night, Had you been there, I think you would have begg'd The ring of me to give the worthy doctor.
PORTIA. Let not that doctor e'er come near my house; Since he hath got the jewel that I loved, And that which you did swear to keep for me, I will become as liberal as you; I'll not deny him anything I have, No, not my body, nor my husband's bed.
Know him I shall, I am well sure of it.
Lie not a night from home; watch me like Argus; If you do not, if I be left alone, Now, by mine honour which is yet mine own, I'll have that doctor for mine bedfellow.
NERISSA. And I his clerk; therefore be well advis'd How you do leave me to mine own protection.
GRATIANO. Well, do you so, let not me take him then; For, if I do, I'll mar the young clerk's pen.
ANTONIO. I am th' unhappy subject of these quarrels.
PORTIA. Sir, grieve not you; you are welcome not withstanding.
Ba.s.sANIO. Portia, forgive me this enforced wrong; And in the hearing of these many friends I swear to thee, even by thine own fair eyes, Wherein I see myself- PORTIA. Mark you but that!
In both my eyes he doubly sees himself, In each eye one; swear by your double self, And there's an oath of credit.
Ba.s.sANIO. Nay, but hear me.
Pardon this fault, and by my soul I swear I never more will break an oath with thee.
ANTONIO. I once did lend my body for his wealth, Which, but for him that had your husband's ring, Had quite miscarried; I dare be bound again, My soul upon the forfeit, that your lord Will never more break faith advisedly.
PORTIA. Then you shall be his surety. Give him this, And bid him keep it better than the other.
ANTONIO. Here, Lord Ba.s.sanio, swear to keep this ring.
Ba.s.sANIO. By heaven, it is the same I gave the doctor!
PORTIA. I had it of him. Pardon me, Ba.s.sanio, For, by this ring, the doctor lay with me.
NERISSA. And pardon me, my gentle Gratiano, For that same scrubbed boy, the doctor's clerk, In lieu of this, last night did lie with me.
GRATIANO. Why, this is like the mending of highways In summer, where the ways are fair enough.
What, are we cuckolds ere we have deserv'd it?
PORTIA. Speak not so grossly. You are all amaz'd.
Here is a letter; read it at your leisure; It comes from Padua, from Bellario; There you shall find that Portia was the doctor, Nerissa there her clerk. Lorenzo here Shall witness I set forth as soon as you, And even but now return'd; I have not yet Enter'd my house. Antonio, you are welcome; And I have better news in store for you Than you expect. Unseal this letter soon; There you shall find three of your argosies Are richly come to harbour suddenly.
You shall not know by what strange accident I chanced on this letter.
ANTONIO. I am dumb.
Ba.s.sANIO. Were you the doctor, and I knew you not?
GRATIANO. Were you the clerk that is to make me cuckold?
NERISSA. Ay, but the clerk that never means to do it, Unless he live until he be a man.
Ba.s.sANIO. Sweet doctor, you shall be my bedfellow; When I am absent, then lie with my wife.
ANTONIO. Sweet lady, you have given me life and living; For here I read for certain that my ships Are safely come to road.
PORTIA. How now, Lorenzo!
My clerk hath some good comforts too for you.
NERISSA. Ay, and I'll give them him without a fee.
There do I give to you and Jessica, From the rich Jew, a special deed of gift, After his death, of all he dies possess'd of.
LORENZO. Fair ladies, you drop manna in the way Of starved people.
PORTIA. It is almost morning, And yet I am sure you are not satisfied Of these events at full. Let us go in, And charge us there upon inter'gatories, And we will answer all things faithfully.
GRATIANO. Let it be so. The first inter'gatory That my Nerissa shall be sworn on is, Whether till the next night she had rather stay, Or go to bed now, being two hours to day.
But were the day come, I should wish it dark, Till I were couching with the doctor's clerk.
Well, while I live, I'll fear no other thing So sore as keeping safe Nerissa's ring. Exeunt
THE END
1601 THE MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR by William Shakespeare Dramatis Personae SIR JOHN FALSTAFF FENTON, a young gentleman SHALLOW, a country justice SLENDER, cousin to Shallow Gentlemen of Windsor FORD PAGE WILLIAM PAGE, a boy, son to Page SIR HUGH EVANS, a Welsh parson DOCTOR CAIUS, a French physician HOST of the Garter Inn Followers of Falstaff BARDOLPH PISTOL NYM ROBIN, page to Falstaff SIMPLE, servant to Slender RUGBY, servant to Doctor Caius MISTRESS FORD MISTRESS PAGE MISTRESS ANNE PAGE, her daughter MISTRESS QUICKLY, servant to Doctor Caius SERVANTS to Page, Ford, etc. SCENE: Windsor, and the neighbourhood The Merry Wives of Windsor ACT I. SCENE 1. Windsor. Before PAGE'S house Enter JUSTICE SHALLOW, SLENDER, and SIR HUGH EVANS