The Complete Works of William Shakespeare Part 203

Exit with the body

SCENE II.

Blackheath

Enter GEORGE BEVIS and JOHN HOLLAND

GEORGE. Come and get thee a sword, though made of a lath; they have been up these two days.

JOHN. They have the more need to sleep now, then.

GEORGE. I tell thee Jack Cade the clothier means to dress the commonwealth, and turn it, and set a new nap upon it.

JOHN. So he had need, for 'tis threadbare. Well, I say it was never merry world in England since gentlemen came up.

GEORGE. O miserable age! Virtue is not regarded in handicraftsmen.

JOHN. The n.o.bility think scorn to go in leather ap.r.o.ns.

GEORGE. Nay, more, the King's Council are no good workmen.

JOHN. True; and yet it is said 'Labour in thy vocation'; which is as much to say as 'Let the magistrates be labouring men'; and therefore should we be magistrates.

GEORGE. Thou hast hit it; for there's no better sign of a brave mind than a hard hand.

JOHN. I see them! I see them! There's Best's son, the tanner of Wingham- GEORGE. He shall have the skins of our enemies to make dog's leather of.

JOHN. And d.i.c.k the butcher- GEORGE. Then is sin struck down, like an ox, and iniquity's throat cut like a calf.

JOHN. And Smith the weaver- GEORGE. Argo, their thread of life is spun.

JOHN. Come, come, let's fall in with them.

Drum. Enter CADE, d.i.c.k THE BUTCHER, SMITH THE WEAVER, and a SAWYER, with infinite numbers

CADE. We John Cade, so term'd of our supposed father- d.i.c.k. [Aside] Or rather, of stealing a cade of herrings.

CADE. For our enemies shall fall before us, inspired with the spirit of putting down kings and princes- command silence.

d.i.c.k. Silence!

CADE. My father was a Mortimer- d.i.c.k. [Aside] He was an honest man and a good bricklayer.

CADE. My mother a Plantagenet- d.i.c.k. [Aside] I knew her well; she was a midwife.

CADE. My wife descended of the Lacies- d.i.c.k. [Aside] She was, indeed, a pedlar's daughter, and sold many laces.

SMITH. [Aside] But now of late, not able to travel with her furr'd pack, she washes bucks here at home.

CADE. Therefore am I of an honourable house.

d.i.c.k. [Aside] Ay, by my faith, the field is honourable, and there was he born, under a hedge, for his father had never a house but the cage.

CADE. Valiant I am.

SMITH. [Aside] 'A must needs; for beggary is valiant.

CADE. I am able to endure much.

d.i.c.k. [Aside] No question of that; for I have seen him whipt three market days together.

CADE. I fear neither sword nor fire.

SMITH. [Aside] He need not fear the sword, for his coat is of proof.

d.i.c.k. [Aside] But methinks he should stand in fear of fire, being burnt i' th' hand for stealing of sheep.

CADE. Be brave, then, for your captain is brave, and vows reformation. There shall be in England seven halfpenny loaves sold for a penny; the three-hoop'd pot shall have ten hoops; and I will make it felony to drink small beer. All the realm shall be in common, and in Cheapside shall my palfrey go to gra.s.s. And when I am king- as king I will be ALL. G.o.d save your Majesty!

CADE. I thank you, good people- there shall be no money; all shall eat and drink on my score, and I will apparel them all in one livery, that they may agree like brothers and worship me their lord.

d.i.c.k. The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

CADE. Nay, that I mean to do. Is not this a lamentable thing, that of the skin of an innocent lamb should be made parchment? That parchment, being scribbl'd o'er, should undo a man? Some say the bee stings; but I say 'tis the bee's wax; for I did but seal once to a thing, and I was never mine own man since. How now! Who's there?

Enter some, bringing in the CLERK OF CHATHAM

SMITH. The clerk of Chatham. He can write and read and cast accompt.

CADE. O monstrous!

SMITH. We took him setting of boys' copies.

CADE. Here's a villain!

SMITH. Has a book in his pocket with red letters in't.

CADE. Nay, then he is a conjurer.

d.i.c.k. Nay, he can make obligations and write court-hand.

CADE. I am sorry for't; the man is a proper man, of mine honour; unless I find him guilty, he shall not die. Come hither, sirrah, I must examine thee. What is thy name?

CLERK. Emmanuel.

d.i.c.k. They use to write it on the top of letters; 'twill go hard with you.

CADE. Let me alone. Dost thou use to write thy name, or hast thou a mark to thyself, like a honest plain-dealing man?

CLERK. Sir, I thank G.o.d, I have been so well brought up that I can write my name.

ALL. He hath confess'd. Away with him! He's a villain and a traitor.

CADE. Away with him, I say! Hang him with his pen and inkhorn about his neck. Exit one with the CLERK

Enter MICHAEL

MICHAEL. Where's our General?

CADE. Here I am, thou particular fellow.

MICHAEL. Fly, fly, fly! Sir Humphrey Stafford and his brother are hard by, with the King's forces.

CADE. Stand, villain, stand, or I'll fell thee down. He shall be encount'red with a man as good as himself. He is but a knight, is 'a?

MICHAEL. No.

CADE. To equal him, I will make myself a knight presently.

[Kneels] Rise up, Sir John Mortimer. [Rises] Now have at him!

Enter SIR HUMPHREY STAFFORD and WILLIAM his brother, with drum and soldiers

STAFFORD. Rebellious hinds, the filth and sc.u.m of Kent, Mark'd for the gallows, lay your weapons down; Home to your cottages, forsake this groom; The King is merciful if you revolt.

WILLIAM STAFFORD. But angry, wrathful, and inclin'd to blood, If you go forward; therefore yield or die.

CADE. As for these silken-coated slaves, I pa.s.s not; It is to you, good people, that I speak, O'er whom, in time to come, I hope to reign; For I am rightful heir unto the crown.

STAFFORD. Villain, thy father was a plasterer; And thou thyself a shearman, art thou not?

CADE. And Adam was a gardener.

WILLIAM STAFFORD. And what of that?

CADE. Marry, this: Edmund Mortimer, Earl of March, Married the Duke of Clarence' daughter, did he not?

STAFFORD. Ay, sir.

CADE. By her he had two children at one birth.

WILLIAM STAFFORD. That's false.

CADE. Ay, there's the question; but I say 'tis true.

The elder of them being put to nurse, Was by a beggar-woman stol'n away, And, ignorant of his birth and parentage, Became a bricklayer when he came to age.

His son am I; deny it if you can.

d.i.c.k. Nay, 'tis too true; therefore he shall be king.

SMITH. Sir, he made a chimney in my father's house, and the bricks are alive at this day to testify it; therefore deny it not.

STAFFORD. And will you credit this base drudge's words That speaks he knows not what?

ALL. Ay, marry, will we; therefore get ye gone.

WILLIAM STAFFORD. Jack Cade, the Duke of York hath taught you this.

CADE. [Aside] He lies, for I invented it myself- Go to, sirrah, tell the King from me that for his father's sake, Henry the Fifth, in whose time boys went to span-counter for French crowns, I am content he shall reign; but I'll be Protector over him.

d.i.c.k. And furthermore, we'll have the Lord Say's head for selling the dukedom of Maine.

CADE. And good reason; for thereby is England main'd and fain to go with a staff, but that my puissance holds it up. Fellow kings, I tell you that that Lord Say hath gelded the commonwealth and made it an eunuch; and more than that, he can speak French, and therefore he is a traitor.

STAFFORD. O gross and miserable ignorance!

CADE. Nay, answer if you can; the Frenchmen are our enemies. Go to, then, I ask but this: can he that speaks with the tongue of an enemy be a good counsellor, or no?

ALL. No, no; and therefore we'll have his head.