The Complete Plays of Gilbert and Sullivan Part 81

Princess: Yes!

Sach.: And cut off real live legs and arms?

Princess: Of course!

Sach.: I wouldn't do it for a thousand pounds!

Princess: Why, how is this? Are you faint-hearted, girl?

You've often cut them off in theory!

Sach.: In theory I'll cut them off again With pleasure, and as often as you like, But not in practice.

Princess: Coward! Get you hence, I've craft enough for that, and courage too, I'll do your work! My fusiliers, advance!, Why, you are armed with axes! Gilded toys!

Where are your rifles, pray?

Chloe: Why, please you, ma'am, We left them in the armoury, for fear That in the heat and turmoil of the fight, They might go off!

Princess: "They might!" Oh, craven souls!

Go off yourselves! Thank heaven I have a heart That quails not at the thought of meeting men; I will discharge your rifles! Off with you!

(Exit Chloe) Where's my bandmistress?

Ada: Please you, ma'am, the band Do not feel well, and can't come out today!

Princess: Why, this is flat rebellion! I've no time To talk to them just now. But, happily, I can play several instruments at once, And I will drown the shrieks of those that fall With trumpet music, such as soldiers love!

How stand we with respect to gunpowder?

My Lady Psyche -- you who superintend Our lab'ratory -- are you well prepared To blow these bearded rascals into shreds?

Psyche: Why, madam--

Princess: Well?

Psyche: Let us try gentler means.

We can dispense with fulminating grains While we have eyes with which to flash our rage!

We can dispense with villainous saltpetre While we have tongues with which to blow them up!

We can dispense, in short, with all the arts That brutalize the practical polemist!

Princess: (Contemptuously) I never knew a more dispensing chemist!

Away, away -- I'll meet these men alone Since all my women have deserted me!

(Exeunt all but Princess, singing refrain of "Please you, do not hurt us", pianissimo.)

Princess: So fail my cherished plans -- so fails my faith-- And with it hope, and all that comes of hope!

Song - Princess "I Built upon a Rock"

Princess: I built upon a rock, But ere Destruction's hand Dealt equal lot To Court and cot, My rock had turn'd to sand!

I leant upon an oak, But in the hour of need, Alack-a-day, My trusted stay Was but a bruis-ed reed!

A bruis-ed reed!

Ah faithless rock, My simple faith to mock!

Ah trait'rous oak, Thy worthlessness to cloak, Thy worthlessness to cloak!

I drew a sword of steel But when to home and hearth The battle's breath Bore fire and death, My sword was but a lath!

I lit a beacon fire, But on a stormy day Of frost and rime, In wintertime, My fire had died away, Had died away!

Ah, coward steel, That fear can un-anneal!

False fire indeed, To fail me in my need, To fail me in my need!

(Princess Sinks upon a rock. Enter Chloe and all the Ladies)

Chloe: Madam, your father and your brothers claim An audience!

Princess: What do they do here?

Chloe: They come To fight for you!

Princess: Admit them!

Blanche: Infamous!

One's brothers, ma'am, are men!

Princess: So I have heard.

But all my women seem to fail me when I need them most. In this emergency, Even one's brothers may be turned to use.

Gama: (Entering, pale and unnerved) My daughter!

Princess: Father! Thou art free!

Gama: Aye, free!

Free as a tethered a.s.s! I come to thee With words from Hildebrand. Those duly given I must return to blank captivity.

I'm free so far.

Princess: Your message.

Gama: Hildebrand Is loth to war with women. Pit my sons, My three brave sons, against these popinjays, These tufted jack-a-dandy featherheads, And on the issue let thy hand depend!

Princess: Insult on insult's head! Are we a stake For fighting men? What fiend possesses thee, That thou has come with offers such as these From such as he to such an one as I?

Gama: I am possessed By the pale devil of a shaking heart!

My stubborn will is bent. I dare not face That devilish monarch's black malignity!

He tortures me with torments worse than death, I haven't anything to grumble at!

He finds out what particular meats I love, And gives me them. The very choicest wines, The costliest robes -- the richest rooms are mine.

He suffers none to thwart my simplest plan, And gives strict orders none should contradict me!

He's made my life a curse! (Weeps)

Princess: My tortured father!

SONG (King GAMA with CHORUS of GIRLS) "Whene'er I Spoke"