The Complete Plays of Gilbert and Sullivan Part 57

KAT. There is beauty in the bellow of the blast, There is grandeur in the growling of the gale, There is eloquent outpouring When the lion is a-roaring, And the tiger is a-lashing of his tail!

KO. Yes, I like to see a tiger From the Congo or the Niger, And especially when lashing of his tail!

KAT. Volcanoes have a splendor that is grim, And earthquakes only terrify the dolts, But to him who's scientific There's nothing that's terrific In the falling of a flight of thunderbolts!

KO. Yes, in spite of all my meekness, If I have a little weakness, It's a pa.s.sion for a flight of thunderbolts!

BOTH. If that is so, Sing derry down derry!

It's evident, very, Our tastes are one.

Away we'll go, And merrily marry, Nor tardily tarry Till day is done!

KO. There is beauty in extreme old age-- Do you fancy you are elderly enough?

Information I'm requesting On a subject interesting: Is a maiden all the better when she's tough?

KAT. Throughout this wide dominion It's the general opinion That she'll last a good deal longer when she's tough.

KO. Are you old enough to marry, do you think?

Won't you wait till you are eighty in the shade?

There's a fascination frantic In a ruin that's romantic; Do you think you are sufficiently decayed?

KAT. To the matter that you mention I have given some attention, And I think I am sufficiently decayed.

BOTH. If that is so, Sing derry down derry!

It's evident, very, Our tastes are one!

Away we'll go, And merrily marry, Nor tardily tarry Till day is done!

[Exeunt together.

Flourish. Enter the Mikado, attended by Pish-Tush and Court.

MIK. Now then, we've had a capital lunch, and we're quite ready. Have all the painful preparations been made?

PISH. Your Majesty, all is prepared.

MIK. Then produce the unfortunate gentleman and his two well-meaning but misguided accomplices.

Enter Ko-Ko, Katisha, Pooh-Bah, and Pitti-Sing. They throw themselves at the Mikado's feet

KAT. Mercy! Mercy for Ko-Ko! Mercy for Pitti-Sing! Mercy even for Pooh-Bah!

MIK. I beg your pardon, I don't think I quite caught that remark.

POOH. Mercy even for Pooh-Bah.

KAT. Mercy! My husband that was to have been is dead, and I have just married this miserable object.

MIK. Oh! You've not been long about it!

KO. We were married before the Registrar.

POOH. I am the Registrar.

MIK. I see. But my difficulty is that, as you have slain the Heir Apparent----

Enter Nanki-Poo and Yum-Yum. They kneel.

NANK. The Heir Apparent is not slain.

MIK. Bless my heart, my son!

YUM. And your daughter-in-law elected!

KAT. (seizing Ko-Ko). Traitor, you have deceived me!

MIK. Yes, you are ent.i.tled to a little explanation, but I think he will give it better whole than in pieces.

KO. Your Majesty, it's like this: It is true that I stated that I had killed Nanki-Poo---- MIK. Yes, with most affecting particulars.

POOH. Merely corroborative detail intended to give artistic verisimilitude to a bald and---- KO. Will you refrain from putting in your oar? (To Mikado.) It's like this: When your Majesty says, "Let a thing be done," it's as good as done--practically, it is done--because your Majesty's will is law. Your Majesty says, "Kill a gentleman," and a gentleman is told off to be killed.

Consequently, that gentleman is as good as dead--practically, he is dead--and if he is dead, why not say so?

MIK. I see. Nothing could possibly be more satisfactory!

FINALE.

PITTI. For he's gone and married Yum-Yum-- ALL. Yum-Yum!

PITTI. Your anger pray bury, For all will be merry, I think you had better succ.u.mb-- ALL. c.u.mb--c.u.mb.

PITTI. And join our expressions of glee!

KO. On this subject I pray you be dumb-- ALL. Dumb--dumb!

KO. Your notions, though many, Are not worth a penny, The word for your guidance is "Mum"-- ALL. Mum--Mum!

KO. You've a very good bargain in me.

ALL. On this subject we pray you be dumb-- Dumb--dumb!

We think you had better succ.u.mb-- c.u.mb--c.u.mb!

You'll find there are many Who'll wed for a penny, There are lots of good fish in the sea.

YUM. and NANK. The threatened cloud has pa.s.sed away, And brightly shines the dawning day; What though the night may come too soon, We've years and years of afternoon!

ALL. Then let the throng Our joy advance, With laughing song And merry dance, With joyous shout and ringing cheer, Inaugurate our new career!

Then let the throng, etc.

CURTAIN.

THE PIRATES OF PENZANCE

OR

THE SLAVE OF DUTY

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

MAJOR-GENERAL STANLEY

THE PIRATE KING

SAMUEL (his Lieutenant)

SERGEANT OF POLICE

MABEL, EDITH, KATE, and ISABEL (General Stanley's Daughters)

RUTH (a Pirate Maid of all Work)

Chorus of Pirates, Police, and General Stanley's Daughters

ACT I