The Complete Plays of Gilbert and Sullivan Part 45

STREPH. I don't think I ought to. Besides, all sorts of difficulties will arise. You know, my grandmother looks quite as young as my mother. So do all my aunts.

PHYL. I quite understand. Whenever I see you kissing a very young lady, I shall know it's an elderly relative.

STREPH. You will? Then, Phyllis, I think we shall be very happy! (Embracing her.) PHYL. We won't wait long.

STREPH. No. We might change our minds. We'll get married first.

PHYL. And change our minds afterwards?

STREPH. That's the usual course.

DUET--STREPHON and PHYLLIS.

STREPH. If we're weak enough to tarry Ere we marry, You and I, Of the feeling I inspire You may tire By and by.

For peers with flowing coffers Press their offers-- That is why I am sure we should not tarry Ere we marry, You and I!

PHYL. If we're weak enough to tarry Ere we marry, You and I, With a more attractive maiden, Jewel-laden, You may fly.

If by chance we should be parted, Broken-hearted I should die-- So I think we will not tarry Ere we marry, You and I.

PHYL. But does your mother know you're--I mean, is she aware of our engagement?

(Enter Iolanthe.)

IOL. She is; and thus she welcomes her daughter-in-law!

(Kisses her.) PHYL. She kisses just like other people! But the Lord Chancellor?

STREPH. I forgot him! Mother, none can resist your fairy eloquence; you will go to him and plead for us?

IOL. (much agitated). No, no; impossible!

STREPH. But our happiness--our very lives--depend upon our obtaining his consent!

PHYL. Oh, madam, you cannot refuse to do this!

IOL. You know not what you ask! The Lord Chancellor is--my husband!

STREPH. and PHYL. Your husband!

IOL. My husband and your father! (Addressing Strephon, who is much moved.) PHYLL. Then our course is plain; on his learning that Strephon is his son, all objection to our marriage will be at once removed!

IOL. No; he must never know! He believes me to have died childless, and, dearly as I love him, I am bound, under penalty of death, not to undeceive him. But see--he comes! Quick--my veil!

(Iolanthe veils herself. Strephon and Phyllis go off on tiptoe.)

(Enter Lord Chancellor.)

LORD CH. Victory! Victory! Success has crowned my efforts, and I may consider myself engaged to Phyllis! At first I wouldn't hear of it--it was out of the question. But I took heart. I pointed out to myself that I was no stranger to myself; that, in point of fact, I had been personally acquainted with myself for some years. This had its effect. I admitted that I had watched my professional advancement with considerable interest, and I handsomely added that I yielded to no one in admiration for my private and professional virtues. This was a great point gained.

I then endeavoured to work upon my feelings. Conceive my joy when I distinctly perceived a tear glistening in my own eye!

Eventually, after a severe struggle with myself, I reluctantly--most reluctantly--consented.

(Iolanthe comes down veiled.)

RECITATIVE--IOLANTHE (kneeling).

My lord, a suppliant at your feet I kneel, Oh, listen to a mother's fond appeal!

Hear me to-night! I come in urgent need-- 'Tis for my son, young Strephon, that I plead!

BALLAD--IOLANTHE.

He loves! If in the bygone years Thine eyes have ever shed Tears--bitter, unavailing tears, For one untimely dead-- If, in the eventide of life, Sad thoughts of her arise, Then let the memory of thy wife Plead for my boy--he dies!

He dies! If fondly laid aside In some old cabinet, Memorials of thy long-dead bride Lie, dearly treasured yet, Then let her hallowed bridal dress-- Her little dainty gloves-- Her withered flowers--her faded tress-- Plead for my boy--he loves!

(The Lord Chancellor is moved by this appeal. After a pause.)

LORD CH. It may not be--for so the fates decide!

Learn thou that Phyllis is my promised bride.

IOL. (in horror). Thy bride! No! no!

LORD CH. It shall be so!

Those who would separate us woe betide!

IOL. My doom thy lips have spoken-- I plead in vain!

CHORUS OF FAIRIES (without). Forbear! forbear!

IOL. A vow already broken I break again!

CHORUS OF FAIRIES (without). Forbear! forbear!

IOL. For him--for her--for thee I yield my life.

Behold--it may not be!

I am thy wife.

CHORUS OF FAIRIES (without). Aiaiah! Aiaiah! Willaloo!

LORD CH. (recognizing her). Iolanthe! thou livest?

IOL. Aye!

I live! Now let me die!

(Enter Fairy Queen and Fairies. Iolanthe kneels to her.)

QUEEN. Once again thy vows are broken: Thou thyself thy doom hast spoken!

CHORUS OF FAIRIES. Aiaiah! Aiaiah!

Willahalah! Willaloo!

Willahalah! Willaloo!

QUEEN. Bow thy head to Destiny: Death thy doom, and thou shalt die!

CHORUS OF FAIRIES. Aiaiah! Aiaiah! etc.

(Peers and Sentry enter. The Queen raises her spear.)

LEILA. Hold! If Iolanthe must die, so must we all; for, as she has sinned, so have we!

QUEEN. What?

CELIA. We are all fairy d.u.c.h.esses, marchionesses, countesses, viscountesses, and baronesses.

LORD MOUNT. It's our fault. They couldn't help themselves.

QUEEN. It seems they have helped themselves, and pretty freely, too! (After a pause.) You have all incurred death; but I can't slaughter the whole company! And yet (unfolding a scroll) the law is clear--every fairy must die who marries a mortal!

LORD CH. Allow me, as an old Equity draftsman, to make a suggestion. The subtleties of the legal mind are equal to the emergency. The thing is really quite simple--the insertion of a single word will do it. Let it stand that every fairy shall die who doesn't marry a mortal, and there you are, out of your difficulty at once!

QUEEN. We like your humour. Very well! (Altering the MS. in pencil.) Private Willis!

SENTRY (coming forward). Ma'am!